FCK THIS DISNEY DAD BS
Yay! Visitation weekend again! Bring on "Disney Dad"!
It's time to bake cookies at 10 p.m.! Without planning ahead of time so you use the ingredients I bought specifically to make something else!
It's time for ss to keep sitting between DH and I on the couch EVERY TIME! It's time to "pway!"
It's time to "snuggle!" (seriously, what 10.5 year old LAYS ON TOP OF their parent on the couch to watch tv???)
Its time to stay up until MIDNIGHT because dh says they need to "unwind"! Um.. Unwind fromWHAT DH?? You only worked overtime ONE DAY THIS WEEK.
It's time for the "gourmet breakfast" that we seem to only be able to afford when your gdamn kid is over! eggs and sausage and toast and hashbrowns for breakfast!! Even though that's not what I bought them for and you didn't buy them!!
I'M SO SICK OF THIS BS!! I am sick of getting NOTHING and no sleep e/o weekend!!
YAY DAY DRINKING!! It's ONLY 830!!
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Comments
Why not leave? This seems
Why not leave? This seems constant and it never improves. You don't seem to get anything out of this relationship.
Stop buying food a few days
Stop buying food a few days before visitation. Let it run down to bare minimum and your DH can go get whatever they want. When they are gone, you can get the normal food that you want to cook.
In your DH's defense, I LOVED fancy Sunday morning breakfasts with my dad and stepmom (I lived with them). I loved that we were all together and there was no rushing and they were happy and relaxed.
We did this when the skids
We did this when the skids were little, too, and they loved it.
Bonus now that they're grown: they would prefer to come over for brunch on the weekend rather than dinner...so it's cheaper and we get our nights free after entertaining skids.
But, yeah. In general Disney Dad weekends suck so bad.
I think it’s more that
I think it’s more that losingit gets cold toast or half a bowl of cereal on weekends it is just them but then ss comes over and it’s all the trimmings. It would be one thing to even buy a pack of sausages and make everyone a sambo but it has to be everything
The cookies at ten pm are ridic though and I am a bit concerned about step son lying on your husband and him allowing it
More and more wine and salad in an apartment by yourself are looking good. Maybe you should talk with your partner about selling because you can’t afford the house. He doesn’t care enough about you to respect you in terms of doing his share and pulling his weight. I don’t see why you would continue to stay
Why doesn't OP make a nice
Why doesn't OP make a nice breakfast for herself then? Why stick with toast and cereal. She's a grown woman who can fry an egg and chop up a potato for home fries. Letting DH dictate non skid food is just setting yourself up to be an unnecessary martyr to the cause.
My guess is that they buy a
My guess is that they buy a certain number of groceries and try to stick to budget except when everyone else if around
Based on past blogs and how much money this guy has wasted op has on more than one occasion been forced to bear the brunt of payments and probably tries to keep things minimal in case of another emergency
The problem here is respect tho- losingit buys groceries each with a specific purpose. Then dh son or mother or both come to visit and the plan is thrown out the window. Ingredients for Super Bowl great used for lunch for son and mother and losingit left with rice and bean tacos
Son comes over and wants cookies or breakfast- ingredients that already had a job are used by Disney Dad
The key problem here is her dh isn’t her partner and refuses to honor the contract of the household budget. Yet forever wants op to bail him out when he makes a mess. This alone is prob enough of a reason for them to get out by selling the house and getting her own place
The lady is under significant financial pressure and crumbling under double standards- I don’t think that makes her a martyr to the cause
I've been there before.
I've been there before. Moving money around, making ends meet...then DH goes and blows $100 on some totally unnecessary luxury for an already over-indulged skid. It is soul-crushing. Thankfully DH has gotten much better and our finances have improved significantly now that 2 out of 3 skids are no longer getting CS.
I honestly have tried
I honestly have tried discussing this with dh, it's like talking to a goldfish. He apologizes, doesn't see it as a big deal because "food is food" and swears he will replace xyz. Problem is, he doesn't, and that is where I have the issue. We are on a very strict budget until my overtime comes back so grocery shopping is never an impulsive ordeal. When he uses something intended for something else, 9/10 times I am left with random extra ingredients that I can no longer incorporate in other things because it was so darn specific for said recipe. I shouldn't have to hide ingredients in my own home, it's like having a mooching roommate.
it's like having a mooching
it's like having a mooching roommate.
That's exactly what he is.
He is working against you, instead of with you. Not partner material.
If you read her past posts,
If you read her past posts, CG, you'll see that even if her husband has the time and love to share with her, he does not. She is used and always comes in last. This is one tiny incident of many, which all together are life sucking. OP is getting the rawest of deals from this relationship.
Essentially, DH shits on OP
Essentially, DH shits on OP to give to SS then uses her to pay his share of bills. OP is destroying herself trying to produce income and cut costs then DH throws it away. Routine and order and trying to get out of the financial hole that DH created turns into chaos so DH can child please.
OP your DH is a minus to your life. You need to set your financials straight, DH must commit to financial changes. Producing more income is all well and good but is useless without controlled spending and budgets because you know he will just spend any extra money. This is a serious problem and to save the relationship, he must adult and commit to making changes rather spending what he likes and using you to fund his lifestyle. Time for him to man up. If he refuses to be a man then kick his arse to the kerb, you deserve so much more.
If the finances are the issue
If the finances are the issue here, and it sounds like they are, then the solution needs to be financial. One way to do this would be to separate your finances completely and stop contributing to household finances on stepkid weeks. Your dh could set aside a percentage of his income regularly that is specifically designated for everything stwpkid related, including food. When that money is gone for the month, it is just gone. Hopefully this will teach your dh some basic budgeting skills which it sounds like he is either lacking or ignoring because he knows that he has your income as a cushion. It sounds like there is a double standard in your marriage as far as fiscal responsibility goes, and understandably that is causing resentment.
Please think about getting
Please think about getting out of this relationship.
I will use the breakfast as an analogy, since we know it's not just about the breakfast.
My DH would never make his daughter a breakfast, that he could not afford or would not be willing, to make for me. My happiness has always been very important to him.
How important is your happiness to your husband?
And this is not even taking into account all of his missing money. Which is a whole other matter.
I remember those days with
I remember those days with Chef spending like a drunken sailor on his ungrateful brats whilst every last penny he earned went to CS and I had to support the whole shebang. ((shudder))
How about this? Call a
How about this? Call a realtor and list the damn house? Get out from under it and move into your own place and get away from these people. He functioned before you came along, he will function after you’re gone. I wouldn’t live like this