SD wants a dog
More specifically, a husky. Yes, my SD12 who takes 6 hours to do basic chores then still hasn't taken out her trash (one out of FOUR) tasks she was given the ENTIRE WEEK.
Apparently BM's toddler is allergic to dander and they even considered rehoming SD's cat for that reason so they can't have a dog. DH and I have 2 dogs, a male and female, almost 6 and almost 7. I get it, cats don't need to be walked and only have a litter box. SD says she wants her "own dog".
Our friend has 2 Shih tzus that set this off for SD. She will pet our dogs and let them hang out in her room, but shows zero responsibility for them such as feeding, water, walking, or even making sure they can go out to potty. So here are our reasons why this would be a horrible idea:
1) Huskies are very high energy and we live in a desert climate. SD is a self proclaimed "sloth" and shows no responsibility toward the 2 dogs we have.
2) She is only here 50% of time so it would still end up being DH's and my dog.
3) Neither of us want a 3rd dog as ours are high energy already and are spoiled rotten.
4) SD swears she'll take care of it and would start off with a "small dog". Yeah, no.
5) This would probably be seen as "bribing", especially to BM.
6) New dogs are a lot of work and SD would probably just treat it as a disposable thing when it was no longer a cute puppy.
On the other hand, our friends have a papered husky who is a beautiful boy and they are considering breeding in 2 years. We may have a home we own by then so those hypothetical pups MAY be an option. IN TWO YEARS. We won't even go to the shelter because it is too heart breaking and I will want to take every pup home.
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Nope, nope, nope.
Nope, nope, nope.
She has this idea that the dog would be excited to see her, follow her around, cuddle with her, listen to only her, and love her unconditionally.
The reality is that it wouldn’t be Her dog, it would be yours. You are the one who’s around and you are the one it would bond with.
Then SD would accuse you of stealing Her dog and then have nothing to do with it.
.
I was thinking this, too. Our
I was thinking this, too. Our dogs sleep in our bed (I know, bad habit) and I can't imagine a 3rd dog would want to be excluded from that. We can't fit another dog in our bed, by the way. Also, our dogs are super attached to me because I am the walker, groomer, and food source. They know hubby and I provide the cuddles and stability.
If SD leaves her bedroom door open, our dogs will stay in her room but they don't like the door closed where they can't see down the hallway. I can absolutely see SD being jealous of me having a stronger bond with "her" dog.
We just got our second dog.
We just got our second dog. We adopted from a foster organization and SS9 said that it will be his dog. Because I have my two cats who are bonded with me and my SO has his dog who is bonded with him. So SS said this new dog will be his.
I asked are you going to feed her, walk her, wipe he paws when she comes in the house, give her water, give her baths, and so much more. Wow did he go silent after that. SS is good with the animals and treat all of them really well. At his age all animals are only his when it is easy, fun and convenient. It is the family dog, I am not sure who she will bond with the most. I know as he gets older he will get better at taking care of the dogs. He feeds the cats when I am out of town for work and cleans up their litter boxes. He is good with the small ones. He scoops up all the poop outside. He gets having an animal is work.
If she is serious have her start taking care or the other animals in the home now when she is there. Tell her if she can prove herself maybe you will consider an animal in the future.
SD is good with animals and
SD is good with animals and treats them well, but shows no initiative for being responsible for them. I get it, cats are nothing like dogs and that's all she's ever had with BM. However, if she really wants to learn to be a dog owner, she needs to step up and actually LEARN. I've said this before, but if it is harder than pushing a button, SD usually gives up immediately or never even tries. I can't imagine how she would handle urine, feces, or vomit in a carpet that actually took effort to clean and disinfect. Huskies SHED. Would she make sure it was brushed and properly bathed? They are also very high energy and stubborn. They are working dogs, after all. How would she make sure it's needs were met if she is a self proclaimed "sloth"?
I agree with your last paragraph, but is hubby who needs convincing. I would take in all of the homeless dogs in the world if I could.
You got two years for the
You got two years for the husky to work on him.
I do not think most not all kids get how much taking care of an animal entails. Cats are easier but still take work. I am sure she is not cleaning out their litter dumping it washing down the boxes, feeding them and giving them water. Also my cats shed like crazy I have to brush them regularly and give them baths because they lick one another and they start to smell. Mine whine for affection and play time and are needy. I love them.
She needs to understand the difference between large high energy dogs and small lazy ones. Both dogs in our home are very very high energy "boxer" and "pitbull". It takes alot of work and i have bruises on me feet all the time from them accidentally stepping on them.
Best of luck!
Our dogs are "pitbulls" (Am
Our dogs are "pitbulls" (Am Staffs) and are very powerful, strong willed, loyal creatures. One time we were puppy sitting for our friends who has a pibble pup and I let SD walk him while I walked our dogs to lead them. This is my fault, but puppy pulled too hard and SD let go of the leash. Thank goodness he's a good pup and continued to follow us. But he could've ran into the street. Needless to say, I took puppy and my stronger dog and let SD walk our mellow dog. How will SD leasg train a puppy if she couldn't hold onto a 6 month old one?
That girl worries me and I pray for mercy on everyone driving when she gets her learner's permit. She has almost zero coordination and is just lazy and unmotivated in general.
"NO." That is a complete
"NO." That is a complete answer and that is the answer that SD needs. If she whines/pitches a fit? Then let your DH tell her:
Oh, he has, but everytime she
Oh, he has, but everytime she sees one she asks "when can't I get a dooooog?". The last time was a week ago and hubby ignored her.
"When can I get a dog" can be
"When can I get a dog" can be answered with "When you live in your own home". Every.Single.Time. *dirol*
I agree.
I agree.
No is a complete answer. She
No is a complete answer. She needs to be reminded that she is the kid, not the adult and that's an adult decision. If she's so interested in taking care of dogs, MAKE her take care of the dogs you already have. Stand over her and make her do all the dog chores. Make her pick up the poop. Brush them, feed them, walk them, etc..... Keep her so busy with the dogs she has no time for anything she finds fun. When she finally says, dogs are a lot of work, I don't want one anymore you can let her go back to being a kid. Experience is the best teacher. Give her someting to learn from.
I will wait for her to bring
I will wait for her to bring it up again, which will probably be soon, and I will definitely do what you said. My dogs are walked AT LEAST once a day, twice or three times if they're lucky, fed a very particular diet, and brushed and bathed often, especially in the summer.
That would be a NO.
That would be a NO.
NO WAYYY...sorry nope,cant do
NO WAYYY...sorry nope,cant do it.
EVERYONE loves huskys they are cool looking dogs. But yes, very high energy.
It would not be fair to introduce a new dog TO our established dogs. Is what I would tell her.
TBH, we tried it here. MAJOR dog fight more than once. Sad to say we had to rehome the newbie after the 3rd she pinned our large dog to the ground.
Introducing a new dog in the pack can be interesting even with the best of intentions.
I think this may happen, too.
I think this may happen, too. Our friends bring their puppy over often and my female, very alpha personality, bullies him and growls at him. My male is ok but I don't think he'd want another dog, especially a puppy, around all the time. My girl was barely a year old when we got our boy so I think that's the only reason they get along now. A female dog would be out of the question.
It is going to end up being
It is going to end up being your dog.
Your SD does not complete her chores now.
What is going to happen when the fun wears off of having a dog?
It is going to be your dog.
Tell her no.
A dog is not a part time toy.
That is exactly what she will
That is exactly what she will be told when it is brought up again. I will simply say: "SD, you have to be reminded to do your chores now, and even then, you forget to do what was asked of you AT LEAST THREE times. You do not care for the dogs we have now, so you have already proven that you cannot care for a dog, especially the puppy that you want."
I'd like to add: FIL got SD a
I'd like to add: FIL got SD a guitar about 4 years ago. He is very into instruments and builds very fascinating pieces. DH had it painted for SD by a local artist with her name on it and flower and vine designs. SD wanted a violin instead. Well, SIL plays violin. DH bought SD violin that FIL ordered. One lesson in, SD was being uncooperative and acting bored so SIL never taught her again. A church friend plays guitar. He willingly offered to teach SD to play. SD said she would play if DH painted her guitar black or bought her a black one. When he showed her some really cool options online, she turned her nose up and said "none of my friends play and I don't want to learn to play alone". So I think our answer lies right there, folks.
And you can't just toss the
And you can't just toss the dog into a corner or a closet when you lose interest!
The guitar is on "display"
The guitar is on "display" because it has a stand but the violin and also a ukulele that FIL are collecting dust. Amplifiers, books, and all.
Never get a pet you are now going to take of
you are going to be the one taking care of puppy. There too many variables in this. Dog may bond with you or DH and SD going to be upset.
As someone said, SD will
As someone said, SD will expect the dog to listen only to her and follow her. That simply will not be the case with her only being around it half the time.
I've said no to a kitten, a
I've said no to a kitten, a fish and a bunny. NO.
If you want a third dog, plan
If you want a third dog, plan it and adopt one. But don't get one because a child wants a dog.
When she says she wants a dog, say, "you already have two dogs." You must reinforce "NO" all the way or she will bully and whine until you take on a third responsibility and that will only reinforce her whining and bullying.
If you get a dog because she wants a dog and the dog responds to you because you are the dog's caregiver (and you know you will be!), SD will eventually want another dog that is "her" dog. You will end up with more than you can handle and it still won't be enough for SD. There no reason not to treat your dogs as "family dogs," which we all know is really just a label because there's always one person who does all the work and that's the person the dogs typically gravitate to.
Don't forget to check out Petfinder.com if you decide YOU want another dog. Shelter pets are so grateful when they come home!
I lean towards “no,” because
I lean towards “no,” because holy heck having an indoor cat alone is a lot of work in it self (cleanliness: to keep odor down, attentiveness: for exercise).
Maybe in 2 years SD will be ready?