BM the one putting SD in the middle
As an extension of my last post, SD came over last night for our (assumed) "week on" and told us that she has an ortho appointment for her braces tomorrow at 4pm. She also has the "meet your teachers" event from 2-4 so DH has to take her to that.
Well after BM's routine evening call to SD today, SD came to tell me that BM said "it's nice ILD wants to help out with your appointment (I told DH I'd take her), but I have to be there to pay the out of pocket cost".... Ok? I told SD that BM hasn't told DH anything and that BM needs to talk to DH about it. SD shrugged it off and we're coloring with the new markers she got.
I texted DH to tell him what SD said and he said that he'll just go to SD's meet the teachers event tomorrow and hope to run into BM. He doesn't know about any out of pocket costs for SD's medical care because BM has always taken SD to appointments and never shares information with him. And why hasn't BM said anything to DH?
DH told BM that he won't talk about custody matters with her outside of court/ mediation, but if BM knows of an ortho appt on DH's time, wouldn't a normal human tell him about it herself?
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If I was him, I show up at
If I was him, I show up at the ortho appointment.
I told him to because I don't
I told him to because I don't want to deal with BM alone- or at all but I offered to take SD so he can go back to work. Or at the very least, text her and ask what SD is talking about. BM hasn't said a word to DH about the appointment.
He needs to put a stop to
He needs to put a stop to this by taking the bull by the horns and dealing with it. Not you, stop being nice about everything. The only way to take SD out of the middle to to show up and call BM's bluff.
My BM had 3 skids get ortho work without involving DH. Crock of shit that was very expensive. Your BM should not get to call the shots on that bill.
I totally agree. He needs to
I totally agree. He needs to text or email her saying that SD is telling him about an appointment tomorrow and what is she talking about?
No,just text her that he has
No,just text her that he has plans for ice cream after teacher meet and make BM panic. Insist on meeting her there. Don't give a BM like this any wiggle room. Braces are expensive and he might get stuck with a couple of thousand dollars to spend on this. Can your house afford that expense right now, especially made with no involvement by DH????
He hates dealing with her?? Tough, he made SD too. should of choosen better.
We most definitely can't
We most definitely can't afford that, especially because he plans to retain an attorney to establish the 50/50 which he said will be $1000 up front. He gets mad when I tell him that he's the one that screwed her, not thinking about the consequences, being a horny 21 year old and believing she was on birth control. We've all heard that lie before!
You
Have to step back and let DH handle all appointment. Not you, He and BM has to figure out how they are going to pay for it. It none of your business or your problems
Prime example of lack of
Prime example of lack of communication from BM. She shouldn't be relaying messages to SD and hope that you all understand what needs to be done. This is a conversation that adults need to have because its pertaining to SD's health. Either he texts her about the appointment or just bypass it and go about his business. Until BM learns to communicate about simple things like this she will continue to do it and use SD as the middleman.
What if you all had something planned? She just can't schedule something without talking to you 1st.
You're right. I just don't
You're right. I just don't understand why BM is this way. DH texted her last night and said "SD is telling me she has an appointment for her braces tomorrow at 4." BM replied: "Yes and I have to take her to pay for it. I'll bring her back to your house after". Ok..? When did she plan to tell him this? We were going to go straight to the appointment from the meet the teachers event.
He said he's going to call her this morning to figure it out, I guess. His attorney still hasn't called him back so I hope we can still meet with him tomorrow.