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8th grade graduation

I love dogs's picture

Submitted by I love dogs on Thu, 05/16/2019 - 7:21pm

It's next Thursday at 7. I get off at 6.. I know DH will go and get mad if I tell him I'm not going. I don't want the baby going either. I'm sure SD would only be disappointed of my absense just because I'm expected to be with DH as a formality.

 

There are only 3, yes THREE, other students and DH would sit with GBM and GBF (and that includes BM and her boyfriend). I absolutely do not want to be anywhere near any of them. What do I do?

Comments

elkclan's picture

Submitted by elkclan on Fri, 05/17/2019 - 4:53am

The go-to lie here is that the baby was way too fussy, you think she might be sick. Oh, she's fine now? Well, babies are incredibly resilient. 

diamonds-and-lace's picture

Submitted by diamonds-and-lace on Thu, 05/16/2019 - 8:52pm

Do you want to support SD or not? If the answer is no or that you don't care, don't go. If the answer is yes, you go. If you don't care that SD knows you don't support her, don't go. If you do care, go. A four kid graduation can't take all that long. Realistically I think you should suck it up for the time of the ceremony and go and I think that it would be good for SD and BD's relationship as they get older for you to do things like bring BD to SD's family events.

Don't lie to DH about it, that's awful advice. If you can't up front tell him you don't want to go without fear of his wrath, you should go. 

MommyT's picture

Submitted by MommyT on Thu, 05/16/2019 - 9:15pm

80% of second marriages end because of stuff like this. She doesn’t want to go but she doesn’t want to hurt her DH or her SD and she doesn’t want to start a fight. In order to maintain peace, I do suggest she try to find another way out of it other than “I don’t want to go.” What is that going to do? Cause a whole fight over an 8th grade graduation? Come on. 

diamonds-and-lace's picture

Submitted by diamonds-and-lace on Thu, 05/16/2019 - 9:21pm

If you have to save a marriage by blatantly lying, I'm not sure it's worth saving.

If her concern is exposing her baby to a ton of people, that's how she could get out of it. But just lying about it isn't the way to get out of it.

elkclan's picture

Submitted by elkclan on Fri, 05/17/2019 - 4:52am

I haven't wanted to go to a single kids' award event or school play or community 'no-talent' show ever. Not for my son or for my step-sons. They are boring and awful - with one exception - my son's year 4 school play was actually pretty good. And in year 5 my son managed to write some of his own dialogue which was actually pretty funny. But one laugh out of a whole morning sitting next to my crappy ex? I can hear my son's even funnier one-liners at home. I hate graduations so much I've never been to ANY of my own, not high school, not college and not my MA. 

But I go to these events - and I even smile. Exception being I did not attend either one of my son's school recorder recitals. I hate the recorder so much, that I would not even go for him. I'd give a stranger my kidney before I'd go to one of those. Fortunately the school was so crap about giving advance notice that I happened to have important meetings booked at the same time.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 05/17/2019 - 5:08am

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. But be honest about it at least. You don’t want the baby around the big crowd and you don’t want to sit with GBM and GBF. 

Done. 

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Fri, 05/17/2019 - 8:05am

When did an 8th grade graduation become a “milestone” event in a person’s life? it’s not a wedding or a college graduation.   

If you don’t get off till 6 - I don’t see how you have time to get home, get your baby ready and travel to the graduation  That’s just not practical   When is the baby supposed to be fed and put to bed?

if a child needs that much “support” for an 8th grade graduation buy her a walker.