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BM Asking to Go Out to Dinner

HR By Profession's picture

Submitted by HR By Profession on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 9:31am

Hi All!
First time poster. I have been with my FI for 5 years now. We are actually getting married soon. The BM in our situation seems okay most of the time, but comes out of left field on occasion. PT conferences next week and she asks my FI to join her and the kids for dinner afterwards.... I just don't get it. I have NO desire to sit across from a table with my Ex-Husband.

So my question is, is this co-parenting or whack-a-doo?

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 9:39am

Attending the PT conferences at the same time is co-parenting. Having dinner together afterwards, especially when one or both have significant others, is uncalled for.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 9:42am

attending the conference is co parenting. Having dinner afterwards is continuing to be emotionally enmeshed in a prior relationship. What is your FI planning on doing? Is he actually contemplating dinner or did he blow the idea off as stupid... like it is.

HR By Profession's picture

Submitted by HR By Profession on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 11:08am

He def told her no!! It's taken him some time to learn the right thing to do, but he knows now.

HR By Profession's picture

Submitted by HR By Profession on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 2:12pm

LOL. He's had to change his perspective, but thankfully he's been pretty open to doing that.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 9:43am

Having dinner together afterwards, especially when one or both have significant others, is uncalled for.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Having dinner afterward is actually called a date. lol

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 9:50am

Ha ha, that was actually my initial thought but I figured some would say, "people can have dinner together and it not be a date".

Which is true, but this is a totally different ballgame.

HR By Profession's picture

Submitted by HR By Profession on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 11:09am

This is what I think. He's pretty oblivious, but she is not over it yet. Up unto 3 years ago she was still asking him to help her with things at her new house. I put the kibosh on that one.

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 10:07am

I agree with the others - attending the conference together is co-parenting; dinner afterwards is considered family dinner and they aren't a family anymore.

HR By Profession's picture

Submitted by HR By Profession on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 11:14am

Nope, he said no. I'm pretty clear with my expectations and he knows that wouldn't fly with me.