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Where do we go from here?

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 5:46pm

Sue you got me cryin. You're right I need to be that mom for my son and not put no man before him. We left that house and when he gets home he will see all my stuff is gone. I left him a voicemail telling him how it is and turned my phone off I don't need him in my ear trying to change my mind. I'm not letting no one treat my kid like that its not worth it under and circumstances. I'm just scared cause I don't know where I go from here. Before I use to do some things that wasn't the greatest to get us through. I stripped and bartended and stuff and I can't go back to that life. I don't want my son going to school getting bullied and people calling his mom names cause I been through that and I can't put him through that life. If I go with my cuz she still in that life so I can't stay there to long and his daddy is just going to try to get my back in that life with the mentality of do what you gotta do to make money. I can't yall. I feel low every day when I'm living that kinda life. I feel like a different person in the light than I am in the dark. the only real job I ever worked was at a fast food joint. I don't want yall pity I'm just rambling away on keyboard trying to collect my thoughts. Want a cigarette real bad but I quit smoking and drinking two months ago and not trying to go back. I just want to be the mom he deserves you know and not one of the women yall talk about on here. Don't know where I'm going next just know I'm moving in the right direction and I have faith it will work out for us and I'm going to be a better person.

Comments

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 6:10pm

I would look into a women's shelter and seek counseling through them too. I know women who have been strippers with kids, once they got on their feet they completely turned their lives around. And I'm assuming that you don't have family who will help you out or they may live far away. You could also call a safe line and see if they can advise you or help put you and your son into a safe place. PM me if you need numbers and I do have a family member who deals with your type of situations, I think your doing the right thing and it does get better once your on your feet.

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 6:50pm

I don't know what to say. You touched me. I got us through then doing what I had to but I'm not that woman anymore. Im going to head up to the welfare office Monday morning.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 7:53pm

Welfare is there for this reason. Use it and don't think another thing about it. You are making things better for you and your child. IF you really do not want to stay at your cousins call Safe Passage 800-659-0977 it is meant for battered women with or without kids, but really they do not check into things to see if you were abused. I have taken women there and it is much better than a shelter. People may not agree with me, but if you need to lie short term for you and your child I personally would not have a problem doing that.

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 8:09pm

Yall don't even know. Making a grow woman bawl like a baby. I'm so glad I found this site. Yall care about someone yall don't even know and helping me out and caring about the well being of my child. All I can do is thank yall so much.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 8:16pm

Eh we cry all the time...Step parents tend to care for others even when others think we have no business caring at all. You can do this Hope! NOW GO GET EM! Wink Please keep us posted!

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Thu, 10/17/2013 - 10:44pm

Very proud of you for taking this step - such a hard thing to do.

You are doing wonderfully and NEVER FORGET WHAT A STRONG, CAPABLE, AMAZING WOMAN YOU ARE!

Now, use those numbers, get yourself the help you need to set you and your son up in a shiny new life and never look back.

Smile, hug yourself, take care of yourself, and allow yourself to be helped.

Love and hugs to you,

stay strong honey.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Fri, 10/18/2013 - 1:53pm

There's nothing wrong with being a bartender. Since you have experience doing it, try applying for jobs at legitimate places like restaurants instead of strip clubs. Try calling temp agencies looking for bartending work. There is nothing wrong with that.