Should I allow my BS13 and BS10 receive Christmas gifts from MIL/FIL?
My children and I haven't talked to/seen my husbands parents for over a year now but they recently asked my husband what my kids want for Christmas. I haven't spoke to them because they get in the middle of how we handle BM and my husband's kids. BM/skids falsely accuse my children and I of everything and anything--physical and sexual abuse for example (which is unfounded, you can read my blog "When is enough...enough?! to get more of a picture of our life). When BM's complaints fall deaf on my husbands ears, she calls his parents who in turn call us, not wanting to hear our side, but to ask us why we allow such things to happen. Instead of giving my children the benefit of the doubt, who have been around now for 8 years, his parents/family have directly put my children under thier scrutiny of questioning.(So my kids know his parents don't believe/trust them) Last year I caved and allowed them to recieve the gifts but I just don't know what kind of message this is sending my kids: "Here are some gifts from people that believe you abuse their grandchildren." What do you think?
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I would decline the gifts.
I would decline the gifts. I hate hypocritical people. Oh, I don't like you all year but to make myself feel good, I will spend a few bucks at Christmas in the name of peace. I think you should treat people well all year.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Maybe this is their way of
Maybe this is their way of burying the hatchet.
Possibly at one point they were suspicious but if they honestly believed in all that stuff then they wouldn't be sending gifts.
Personally, I would accept the presents. It will do more harm than good if you don't. I would peak to find out what they are before giving to Bkids. Make sure they aren't presumptious.
StepChicka, I would love to
StepChicka,
I would love to think this is thier way of burying the hatchet except for the fact they gave gifts last year but continued with the same behaviour. In fact, there was one such incident this last Tuesday.
These people are crazy, I mean they didn't even wish thier granddaughter (dtr of both my husband and I)age 4, a "Happy Birthday" because mil was mad at my husband. She told his sister she did it in hopes to piss him off for asking her to stay out of the middle. No "Happy Birthday", no card, no gift! Our dtr even asked if grandma called yet, she calls on my skids birthdays...throws them a big bash even!
So yes would love to think they are putting thier differences aside. I really think that they think their behavior is normal.
What is it with these
What is it with these MILS's? We were all home on Friday night,door open TV on, cars out the front.. one minute there were no presents at the front door.. next minute we walked out and there was a bag of gifts sitting there. Christmas gifts from MIL and FIL who have not contacted us for 6 months or even had any kind of contact with BS for this long. She didn't even want to see BS obviously as it was clear we were home. She must have done the bolt to the door dumped the presents and took off...WHY?? Even though SS is spending Christmas with us (arriving today) she didn't dump his presents, so obviously he gets a hug and some time spent with him when he receives his. Oh that's right SS spends every spare minute with them.
So I don't know what to do either because they are obviously only leaving them to make themselves feel better. I would much prefer them wanting to give my son a hug for Christmas, or even ask how he is. She probably didn't leave SS's too because of the ridiculous amount of stuff he gets from them. But on Christmas Day SS will have less presents to open so it will be a drama here on the day, I doubt they think of thise things. Anyway.. so I am thinking we should just keep them. They are for BS afterall, I guess it's different for you though because your children are older and know what is going on. For BS he is only 1 and has no idea, just more presents for him.
But that is a huge allegation they believe about your children,I don't think I could stomach receiving gifts from people with such idea's. I think you need to decide what makes you feel better deep down, just accepting the gifts and saving the drama of giving them back etc... or giving them back on principal which is truly validated. I feel the same, why accept gifts off people who aren't even interested in you or your kids.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your suggestions/opinions!
I mean, if I take the gifts I'll feel like I'm sending a message: Yeah, a present once a year washes away all the disrespect you dish out to my children and I during the year. No thanks!
StepAside, I think I'm going to cut and paste your suggested reponse to thier gift giving and put it in an email! lol
Thanks again!