To me it is such a simple concept. You love your parent? You love your child? You want to have a relationship with them? Well, then you treat his wife with respect. Hell, if you want a GREAT relationship with your dad or son then treat his wife with kindness and love.

I dont get my inlaws or my skid. I understand that when my skid was younger, perhaps he didnt grasp this whole concept. Fine. But now at almost 15 years of age surely he can figure out that HE creates problems in his relationship with his father by disrespecting me. And surely my inlaws, being OLD could figure out that if they want a nice, loving relationship with their son it would probably be a good idea to at least grin and bear it with his wife.

Im a quiet, mild mannered sort of individual. Not loud, obnoxious, demanding, impatient. Seriously. I dont start trouble with people. I avoid drama like the plague. I dislike conflict intensely. So its' not like I'm out "doing" a bunch of stuff to these people that have caused them to have problems with me. I'm just an outsider-that has encouraged dh to lead a moral life and be the best person that he can be. But even if they didnt like that, all they had to do was be cordial to me the few times a year we saw each other, not talked smack about me to dh (they were free to talk smack amongst themselves)and this would have certainly made dh's life so much easier. It wouldve made my life easier. In fact, if there goal was to have a good, positive relationship with their dad and son-it would have made reaching their goal so much easier.

If my parents could have hand picked my life partner, I doubt they would have picked dh-I doubt they would have picked my sil for my brother. However, they treat both my dh and my sil with kindness and love. Even in rocky times with my dh, they have kept their opinion to themselves and never said a word about him-same with my brother and his wife. Because they have made an effort continously to forge a positive relationship with their son and daughter in law-my parents are always welcome with open arms in our household, free to stop by, call, be part of our day to day lives. My dh is always there to help my parents out if need be and vice versa. It's really quite lovely, however I just accepted it as the NORM. The way things were supposed to be.

Naively, I never knew that inlaws, children would actually TRY to destroy their family members relationships. I guess I can at least say I've learned alot.