Instead of expecting things from SS, maybe it's time to expect DH to take some parenting classes. SS respects the teacher because the teacher doesn't put up with his antics.

My BS just turned 4 last month and with exception of cutting his meat and showering (he has to shower, because SD15 has the one bathtub in the house so nasty) completely by himself (he just isn't real good at washing his own hair at this point) he does all of those things on your list.

So no, I don't think your expectations are too high.

1. To not expect to do or have ever whatever his 1 year old sisters have.
This is normal 6 year old behavior. It is up to his parents to set a boundry here.

2. To clean up his own room and other messes he makes himself.
This can be expected with prompting and setting the expectation HOWEVER my own childen are 14 years old and this is a constant battle. He is 6 so dont have an expectation he will do it with out being told 10 times

3. To cut his own food with a plastic cut unless its really tough but we don't eat read meat so there shouldn't be any exceptions.
I think you are way out on this one.

4. Table manners.
You can begin to start table manners but if it is not reenforced in both homes it will not work at this age. Later yes now no. The key to this child is repetition.

5. To be able to bathe by himself without getting watched over in a tub half filled with the door cracked.
He is 6 he needs a parent to aid with bathing.

6. To never ride in a stoller again. But can't controll what BM does.
Absolutly NO stroller I agree 100%.

7. To not be spoiled at our house because of what mommy does at her house.
You cant control what happens in Mom homes. You can only control the about of spoiling in your home. You DH needs to determine how many things he will allow from BM to be induldged at your home.

8. To go to bed on time tantrum or not and not be able to stay up and watch tv and have a snack because you can't sleep.
This is also on your DH

9. To behave as you do at school at your fathers house. We hear he is an angle in class but he is no angle at home. Its a shame he respects his teacher more than his dad.
If you are split custody and he is there a limited amount of time please take into acct that the child is 6 and may not adapt to a change of schedule that easily and if you have an extended say 50% schedule it is hard as well

10. To talk proper english and not like a baby.
Again this is an expectation your DH needs to set, if he doesnt and allows his son to speak like that then that is what you are left to live with.

This child is 6 and from what I see in your list I think your expectations are especially high given the age of the child. It sounds like what is going on is he is on your nerves and I get it. However he is 6 and age appropriate expectations need to be set

I think some are expecting too much and some are not.

1). What does the 1 year old get that he does not? But I think it is very normal for him to want whatever it is.
2). Yes with help sometimes. (He is 6..not 16)
3). Same as above.
4) Same as above
5). This is on the border.
6). He should not ride in a stroller all the time...but if he is tired I see no reason to not let him in it for a bot.
7). again..he is 6 so this is expected. He just needs his dad to step up and parent.
8). This is probably the only one that I think you are NOT expecting to much. But again..his dad needs to parent.
9). My kid was actually the same way. He was wild at home but a perfect angel for teachers.
10). He is 6 so he will revert back to that every now and then.

Edit to add...yes...I guess I do think you are expecting too much from a 6 year old.

I have an 8 year old....

1. To not expect to do or have whatever his 1 year old sisters have.

Kids usually want what others have.

2. To clean up his own room and other messes he makes himself.

I have to constantly remind my BS to pick up his messes. Most of the time he does on his own but not all the time.

3. To cut his own food with a plastic fork unless its really tough but we don't eat read meat so there shouldn't be any exceptions.

My son is just now able to really cut his own meat.

4. Table manners.

Yes but they have to be taught and then re-inforced.

5. To be able to bathe by himself without getting watched over in a tub half filled with the door cracked.

My BS has gotten a lot better with this the past year. Again if he is not being taught properly though he is not going to know what to do. I check on my BS still. He doesn't always get all the soap rinsed out or he gets distracted playing and forgets to wash up.

6. To never ride in a stroller again. But can't control what BM does.

Agree with this.

7. To not be spoiled at our house because of what mommy does at her house.

Well then dont spoil him at your house.

8. To go to bed on time tantrum or not and not be able to stay up and watch TV and have a snack because you can't sleep.

This is on DH (and you if you chose) to nip this in the butt. Kids push buttons to see what they can get away with. If he throws a tantrum and it works, he is probably going to keep doing it. You will just have to train him the proper way to go to bed and let him know how it's going to be.

9. To behave as you do at school at your fathers house. We hear he is an angle in class but he is no angel at school. Its a shame he respects his teacher more than his dad.

Address the behavior issues. Maybe he is acting out at your house because he is wanting attention????

10. To talk proper english and not like a baby.

Agreed- again though you have to re-itirate to him not to baby talk.

hunny, my skids dont do most of this and they're 10, stb 14 adn stb 16!!! (which, by the way, is NOT my doing!)

personally, my brother and i were both doing all of what you are expecting by the time we were each FOUR.

different kids, different parents, different situations.

are you wrong to expect those things? nope, i would expect them too. BUT i have learned that my dh does not share my expectations, and he's going to raise them exactly how he wants to (yes, with some input from me, but overall is his choice). cant always agree with our dh's, but i have found that where *i* have expectations that he doesnt, it doesnt hurt to handle it (nicely and gently) on your own. it IS ok for you to teach skids some skills

ex- fork "ss, lets try using our forks! do you remember how?"
ex- baby-talk "ss, i want to hear what you're saying but i cant understand unless you say it like a big boy."

now, the picking up? sheesh. that's an uphill battle no matter what age!!!

How does he even fit in a stroller??

Not too much to expect, but he is still little and will need some help and reminding.

Even if dh won't? expect this, you can. I agree kids learn from other adults all the time.!!