Sorta Step Parenting Related - New Baby with DH

DH and I are just shy of 13 weeks pregnant - our immediate families and jobs both know - we are telling extended family this weekend - My question is that my Mom keeps asking about a list for a 'baby shower'...

DH has SD6 who lives with BM f/t - he has NOTHING from what was given to her at their shower.. My dilemma is this is the first baby on my side of the family, first grandchild... I don't know what is 'proper' when it comes to having a shower..

Is it considered improper since DH already had a baby shower? (6+ years ago) - When we had gotten married last year we had skipped out on the engagement party since DH had BTDT.. We still had a bridal shower and almost all of DH's family came..

WWYD? TIA for any responses..

*And a follow up to my last post - SD6 IS moving her room! DH and I came to the conclusion that it was the only logical conclusion to having a child here 24/7 and a child sleep here 2x a month.. Needless to say SD6 has said atleast 5x in the 3x we have seen her that she likes 'her room better' but DH and I went out with her the last time she was here and spent $300 on new comforter, piggy bank, pillows, lamps, etc and we are picking out her new carpet on Tuesday .. She's starting to adjust well.. Thanks for all of your help with that past blog! :kisses:

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What's the dilemma? Your

What's the dilemma? Your first baby, you get a shower! Who cares if DH had a baby shower with BM? It might not be his first baby, but it's his first baby with YOU.

Why should you and your family miss out of the joys of this time because DH has "been there, done that."

Even though my husband has been thru it all before (well, not a marriage, but baby things) he knows when the time comes that it's MY first time, and OUR first time together, so he absolutely has NOT been there, done that.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

What I am more concerned

What I am more concerned about is that I don't want his family to feel like this did this already, why are they attending another shower? KWIM?
I guess if they don't agree with it then they can RSVP no.. Right?

Absolutely! And I definitely

Absolutely! And I definitely don't think you should be concerned with what they think about attending another shower, because they aren't concerned very much about you if they don't want to attend.

They should understand that it's his wife's first baby, and the wife's experience is what calls the shots. Don't worry about it. I am sure they get it. I would.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

I agree. My DH and I have a

I agree. My DH and I have a 6 month old, SS is 16 - so yeah, they already had been there and done that - but this was my first!

Besides, his family knows he was divorced - knows he probably has nothing from the 1st - and knows this is your 1st and YOUR 1st together.

If they have a problem with it, then they need to reprioritize what they think is important. We're talking a new baby - time to celebrate!!!! Not time to remind everyone DH had a family before.

This is YOUR first child.

This is YOUR first child. You get to have a shower. Invite his family, if they don't want to come, they won't. Don't worry about it too much. Enjoy this time. Congrats.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Its not even about it just

Its not even about it just being your first child, its about the new baby. Why wouldnt you want to give your baby a baby shower, just because you DH's older child had one?
All the babies in my family have had showers. Who cares what number baby it is?! Its about everyone coming together to celebrate this new life that is going to be born shortly.
A baby shower is about the family helping out with getting things for the baby.
This post made my mouth hit the floor.
I dont know why you wouldnt have done all those things just becuase your DH has already done them. You havent. Who cares what he did with BM? Its not about him and BM its about him and you.
A baby shower isnt about the parents. Its about the baby... BABY SHOWER? Baby is the first word. Its not about your DH, its about your baby growing inside you.

You get as many showers as

You get as many showers as babies you have, if you have 2 kids then you get two showers, two different times:)

These days a baby shower is

These days a baby shower is as much about getting together to celebrate a new baby as it is a way to help parents prepare for their first born. I know people who have had multiple children together and have had a baby shower for every one of their kids births (I find that distasteful and irritating).

Did you expect his family to attend your wedding and bring a gift to acknowledge the occassion or did they have a pass on this because it was his second marriage? If they were part of the wedding, I don't see any reason they wouldn't want to be part of the celebration of your first child together.

How is it distasteful and

How is it distasteful and irritating to celebrate a new baby?!
Why should the first born be more important then the rest of the children?
BTW I'm a first born, and I would have been roally pissed if all 3 of my brothers and my sister wouldnt have had a baby shower.
A first born child is not any more important then the last or the middle.
All children should be treated equally, so why wouldnt you have a baby shower for your new baby, although you already had one for your other child? Becuase your other child is more important?

I'm a first born and I'm WAY

I'm a first born and I'm WAY more important than my brother and sister! My mom's favorite poem to me is this:

You're my first and best
I should've stopped before I had the rest

Haha!