I think if you were hiding it or being sneaky about it, that would be one thing. But you are not married, you are not engaged and you have no reason to expect that either of those things is forthcoming, so you are a free-agent, in my opinion. What's good for the goose...!

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Vicki...I was the one who posted that...and I too had a male buddy, (actually a few of them) before I met my hubby. They were absolutely NO threat whatsoever to my DH but he felt very insecure (threatened?)about it and I felt that my DH is my priority now....so I want to do (or not do) whatever he is most comfortable with. I felt bad giving up the one friendship but it was a sacrifice that I freely choose to make nonetheless. I suppose I could have said..Too Bad, Get Over It..SUck it up..whatever, but DH was more important to me. I expect the same consideration also if I am not comfortable with something. (He actually knows a gal who he's been friends with for years....My problem was...call her when you are at our house so I can get on phone and "meet her." But I am not thrilled if he calls her from work.) Why? Who knows. But, I do think that we have to be careful not to cross the lines...One day it's innocent and all of a sudden it can turn to something else and why even chance it? Most "affairs" are not intentionally started...(at least I don't think.)

But in your case you are still not married to this fella and I totally agree with Anne...what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he can still have somewhat of an intimate friendship with his ex...it would be foolish to give up any of your friendships.

This one is difficult. You are not engaged or married to him, so it should be ok?
But do you love him? Does this hurt him?

I know bottom line that if my boyfriend, did this and I was uncomfortable with it (for what ever reason), it would stop. Either he would stop it or I would drop him. Period!
Everybody has different views on this that for what ever reasons. Some are valid some are not. It is just the way people feel. Whether right or wrong it is the way they feel. Whether it is a friend or not, is not the question. It is whether I care about this other person's feelings (that I may not agree with) and what I am willing to do about it.
That is my 3 cents.

Wifi

I dont think there is any thing wrong with having a gentlemen as a friend. Honesty is everything and you are being that.

I think its crazy that some people think that you cant have friend of the opposite of sex because other people think that it is more then that.

As adults we are suppose to be mature about relationships like that. As long as he never made a pass at you to disrespect you and respects the fact you have a relationship then he is a friend worth keeping.

People miss out on a lot of good people in life when they have such a narrow mind!

Finding true friends are hard anyways,So if that is what he is then dont worry about it, If your BF is questioning it then it comes from his insecurities.

Well, two of my best friends are guys. My bf(? we're on the rocks bigtime right now) always seemed to be ok with it, I always reassured him about it and *never* would consider anything improper with either.
I don't see anything wrong with it at all, particularly given his not ponying up better in your relationship.
His behavior kind of smacks of the old "it's the thief who cries "thief!" the loudest". A too friendly relationship with an ex is just awfully hard to deal with, I don't care who you are.

I'm drawing a lot of conclusions about healthy balance in relationships at this point. Hopefully I'll be able to better implement them in the future....we'll see how things go....

I agree with Jennifer but at the same time we can't be too naive either...Working closely, or sharing intimate things with buddies of the opposite sex can invite trouble. We are only human after all and anyone who says...it would "never" happen to me..I know myself...I would "never" cross those lines is only fooling themselves. Whether you have trust, or honesty is one thing and I have all those things and so does my husband..BUT we aren't taking the chance of anyone coming between us.

Sadly, there is really nothing you can do to prevent affairs anyway. You can take every precaution and if it's gonna happen, it will happen. These are true things. WIthin a five block radius in the 1970's: My best friends mother thought that by her and her husband being friends with the neighbor together would prevent any shenanagans from going on and was mistaken. This woman was her BEST friend and after ten years she left WITH her husband. Another gal I know had an affair with her boss. My mother's best friend husband had a whole nother family in the SAME town! (he was a traveling salesman...and told this lady on his deathbed at 36 that his only daughter had a half brother!) After being one person removed from all that and soooo much more (I commute two hours to work on a train...and Ha..you'd be shocked at the level of intimacy strangers share...) why even chance it if you love your mate? If my hubby told half the stuff I overhear strangers sharing..I wouldn't want to be married to him. Anyway to each his own....