So we were out for a celebration dinner with my family this evening and were having a great time. SD5 did really well the whole time sitting and playing quietly at the table for nearly an hour and a half. After dinner we all gathered at a park to just spend more time together since my family lives 2 hours away and we don't see them often. We stayed out past SD5's bedtime (which is 8pm) and got home about an hour ago. We put her straight to bed because she was getting tired and cranky on the ride home, skipping stories. She asked for a short story and my DH was strong and told her no since it was already 45 mins after bedtime. For the last hour she has been talking to her toys and throwing her pillows into the air and I had told her when we kissed her goodnight that she was to go straight to sleep. I heard a pretty loud thump and checked it out about 15 mins after we closed her door. She was up and out of bed. This is a no-no at our house (we only get up and out of bed to go potty or if there's an emergency or a nightmare in the middle of the night). So I told her "get your butt back in bed. It is very late. Close your eyes and go to sleep now. I love you." 5 minutes later I heard her talking, so I went in and told her again to "close your eyes and go to sleep". I go back a little while later and again catch her sitting up and playing with stuffed animals and told her that if I check on her one more time and she's not closing her eyes trying to go to sleep that I would turn off her nightlight. 10 mins after that I catch her throwing her pillows again, so I walk in calmly and tell her that it is almost 2 hours after bedtime. I remind her that I warned her last time that I would turn off the nightlight and then told her that because she didn't listen and wasn't closing her eyes and (at least trying) to go to sleep, I was turning her nightlight off. She started crying and I still turned it off and said "it is way past bedtime, now you NEED to close your eyes and go to sleep".

When I come out DH is shaking his head with lips pursed and I ask "what?". He says to me "I just wish you would go in and comfort her more instead of just yell at her all the time". I responded that I don't go in there just to yell at her. I don't even go in her room unless I peek through the crack in the door and see her doing something that she's not supposed to be doing. She knows the rules of bedtime. She was also warned several times to close her eyes and quit playing with her toys and pillows (which he heard me do cause he was in the next room). I even explicitly stated that I would turn off her nightlight if I came back one more time and she was not at least trying to sleep. I hate that in his eyes I'm the bad guy just because I stick to the rules that we have set and actually follow through with what I say I will do. If he does bedtime checks he just whispers sweetly to close her eyes an endless number of times, no matter what she's doing. Even if she knows better. She could be jumping on her bed yelling her ABC's, for chriss' sake. And it's not like I'm just trying to be mean. I'm just following through. And when he sees me as the bad guy, so does she. But if I let him take over, she doesn't do what she's supposed to anyway and gets away with things and annoys me anyhow, and I end up taking care of it in the end anyway. He never actually disciplines or follows through with what he threatens to do, so no matter what I'll always be the bad guy, because I AM the only one to discipline and follow through (for nearly everything). In her eyes, it will probably always be this way no matter what happens or how nice I am, but what really bothers me is that my DH can't see that I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just making her actually follow the rules. I just wish he could get rid of that image of me as the evil stepmom too, because what I do I do out of love for her and when she's being good I praise her and when she wants to cuddle I cuddle. I'm not spiteful. I just expect her to follow the rules and do what she's told, when she's told to do it. It's that simple.