So the whole "I know my mother is a problem, I know she is unstable and toxic" lasted a whole 24 hours...actually less I think.

Came home from work with 2 jumbo pizzas and one small (cheese only) pizzas. DH wasn't himself still after the drag down with his mother from the day before. OSS grabs two pieces of pizza right off the bat (no biggie) and these pieces are gigantic...like almost a quarter of a jumbo pizza. DS8 gets one piece of cheese. DH tells OSS two pieces only OSS. The other three older kids grab one gigantic piece of pizza. The other three come back for a second, DS8 comes back for a second of his small pizza (he only eats cheese pizza hence the small one, and literally the pieces from that were half the size of ONE piece of the jumbo). DS8 comes back and asks for a third piece. I say sure sweetie. DH gives me a look as I'm taking a bite and says, "really? I told OSS he could only have two, but DS can have three? How is that fair?" I gave a bit of an irritated sigh, swallowed and said then take it away...but seriously...the older kids are eating pieces twice the size of DS. If at their ages that can rationalize that his pieces are SIGNIFICANTLY SMALLER than theirs then next time cut the pizza into a million little pieces and let them have eight for all I care and DS can have three! DH's gets angry, drops his pizza and walks (stomps actually) out the door to the garage. I walk out there and say come on really there is a significant size difference here, DS has very small pieces. DH says I came out here to avoid and argument are you going to push into one? So I walk out. I go in the house and OSS says "I can't have another piece?" I look at what's left. There are 8 pieces gigantic pizza left. Enough for all four of the older kids to have another piece and still some leftover so I say "no there's plenty for everyone, go ahead" DH now gets pissed at me for this...because I am usurping what he said...I said "I figured you told him two because you weren't sure there would be enough for everyone to have a third that wanted one, and you also told me that it isn't FAIR that DS got three so I just made it FAIR" He gives me a pissy attitude and I had had a long day at work, stressed with his mood due to his mother, irritated with it being portrayed on to me, and just tired and I calmly (while no children were anywhere near me btw) said, "just because your mother is a psychotic bitch, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me"

He flew into a rage!!! Got up told me "when are you going to start taking responsibility for what you fucking do instead of blaming everything on my fucking mother? You're a fucking nut job?!" and proceeded to stomp out and slam the door...get on his Harley I just fucking bought him and take off...I'm assuming to "cool down". Now I will say I felt the anger rising up in me...and I kept my cool...I simply calmly said as he was stomping out the door, really?? you're really calling me the nut job with what's been going on? Okay.

I went for a couple mile jog/walk with music blasting through my earbuds (as my counselor suggested I should do to settle down), when I got back he was home. I walked right past him. Walked upstairs, showered, came down, cleaned up the kitchen, never speaking a word to him. He of course didn't speak to me either. MY feeling is, "you called me names and blew up at me, maybe I shouldn't have said what I did about your mother, however after what she pulled the day before and the fact that it has affected your mood since, I didn't bite my tongue, you owe ME an apology. I will NOT be spoken to that way...by anyone, and until you apologize I will do NOTHING FOR YOU, including interacting with you, making your lunch for work, or acknowledging your entrance nor exit." I didn't say these things to him, because at 45 years of age I believe he knows he was wrong to call me names. He knows it is one of the boundaries I am enforcing lately as he has become more and more disrespectful to me and I will not tolerate it. We just went through this huge ordeal in where OSS needed to apologize for his actions, and DH you should know you need to also, and if you don't, I guess it's easy to see where OSS gets it from.

Of course, in typical DH fashion, he texted something mundane in the night regarding the kids from work, to which I ignored and when he got home he crawled into bed and rubbed my back and said "hey baby" to which I moved AWAY from him and did not respond. I left the house without giving him the usual while he is asleep kiss on the cheek and whispered "Goodbye, I love you". NOPE you will get none of that from me.

After I had a chance to calm down from the nut job comment I actually find it kind of comical he would say that to me after what went on with his mother and BM just yesterday...I'm looking at that side of it. But I will not be disrespected by my husband nor my children. Nor anyone else for that matter. I am his wife...and damn it he best figure that fucking out and realize that no matter how much I love him, I am not afraid to walk the fuck away because if he is going to continue to allow his mother to infiltrate her toxicity on to him, manipulate him, and guilt him so that it becomes who he is too...then he will be sitting there and can join the drama circle of his mother and BM...they can be a happy little threesome.