DH and I had an amazing weekend! We started out with a quick overnight to a quaint little town, spent the night and then took the back roads home and saw some cute little places along the way. We had an amazing time together, just the two of us. It was perfect even though some things were not perfect (issue with hotel room, etc) it didn't bother us at all...we just enjoyed every minute of our time together. MIL, kids, BM never entered my mind once. As soon as we got about 30 miles out of our town I felt relieved and thought...we are AWAY from it all...YAY!!

We spent the rest of the weekend in our home and doing things we enjoy together. My brother from states away who only comes up once a year pulled into town with my nephews and SIL and we spent time with them. It was perfect.

We had one minor issue on Saturday...BM texted a pic to DH of YSS with the caption "his first lake trout!" When DH first received it we were in the middle of a tournament so he didn't respond, and I thought "good...he's ignoring her. Do not give her an opening. She does NOT get any time on our weekend!" However, later at dinner he pulled his phone out and responded "Nice!" to her. And yes...I got ornery. I just looked at him and even though my blood was BOILING, calmly said to him "Why are you even responding to her? Just ignore her." He got upset with me and of course started with "I'm replying to YSS. I'm responding to him about his nice catch" I said (calmly...with a little more difficulty) "No, you are replying to your exW. YSS HAS a phone. You did NOT text him, you texted her. He has a phone and if he wanted you to see it, he could have texted you that picture. Or you could have just texted him "nice catch" DH responds "I'm figuring he doesn't have his phone with him! That's why she sent it I'm guessing" UGH! This is how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: No, she sent it to be a pain in the ass. The kids are coming back tomorrow. You could have talked to YSS about it then. OR YSS could have used his own phone to text you. By answering her you are keeping the door open for her to continue to intrude on OUR time. He is 12 yrs old. He caught a fish. Not his first fish, not a life changing moment...a regular old lake trout. Because she found someone to take him out on their boat."
DH: (after a big, irritated sigh) "I'm sorry I responded about MY KID. I guess I shouldn't talk to my exW about my kid even??!! This is ridiculous!"
Me: "Do we need to start taking pictures of every time the kids have some sort of "first"? Should I start texting my exH every time one of my three does something for the first time? Are you her friend? Are the two of you friends? That you need to share these things?"
DH: "I said I'm sorry that I answered regarding my kid. I don't get upset when you have your chats with your exH!"
Me: "And when exactly do I have my "chats" with my exH? The last time I spoke to him was to explain the therapy activities BS has to do while at his father's this week. I haven't even spoken to him to ask how the appointment went on Friday as I will be seeing him at pick up/drop off tomorrow and I can ask then as it isn't something that I need to know right now. Is YSS's fish catching 'pertinent and immediate' information? The kind that she is ONLY supposed to contact you with? When you answer her and acknowledge her when she pulls this you are leaving the door open for future contact and letting her know it's okay to do so. The reason we sent the letter saying only 'immediate and pertinent' information was to AVOID and STOP her contacting you about anything other than that type of information. This time it's a fish. Next time it will be something else regarding our lives or home or whatever, because you have reinforced that it is okay by responding. It upsets me. I am your wife. Me. And this is OUR time. Unless one of the boys is sick and in the hospital or some other emergency, we don't need to be involved. How would you feel if I did that with my exH? What if I took a pic of BS saying "his first motorcycle ride" and sent it to my ex? Or look how cute he is all dressed up in his new motorcycle stuff". It's NOT his business. It doesn't AFFECT him. It is with US and therefore nothing exH NEEDS to be involved in."
DH: "Okay. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I understand why you feel that way and it won't happen again"

It WILL probably happen again, but maybe we are making headway. We spent 15 very quiet minutes in the vehicle. But later he walked up to me as we were visiting and hugged me and said ILY and I could tell it was his "apology" and "he gets it" way of showing me he DOES get it. Later that night he surprised me with some more anniversary "goodies" and we finished off the weekend happy. I wasn't going to let her ruin my weekend, but I'm not going to say I wasn't upset that she infiltrated a little. I needed some time to work through that and let it go without talking anymore with DH about it. I got to the beach and got absorbed in the lake and family members and was able to calm down. It was just so hurtful to me at the time. I'm hoping he really sees and understands it. Boundaries with outside parties (ahem...MIL and BM) is something I hope we will discuss in counseling this week.