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Move vacation due to menstruation?

Gunner's picture

My sd is 13 and apparently when we go on vacation next month May 26th till June 3rd sd will be on her period. Barbara told me that she wants to move our vacation since sd won't be able to participate in the water activities. The problem is that the dates we can move the vacation to will eliminate one or more of my children. My children can not move their camps and their mother has locked in her vacation time months ago. Any advice you can offer me because right now I am considering telling her to take her kids and vacation by themselves and I will take my kids and vacation. That puts an undue hardship on my finances if I do it this way. I pay all the household bills and my wife pays for extras and the food bill. So she has been saving for this vacation and I would have to use my credit card which I hate doing. My kids are getting older and I dislike the idea of missing vacation with them.

Comments

Gunner's picture

If I delete this how will I get advice? Sorry about the tmi but that is the reason my wife wants to change vacation time. Do you have any advice for me?

Gunner's picture

We rented a beach house and my wife is upset that sd won't be in the water. I won't get into female issues and all of that stuff. I was just looking for advice on what to do about vacation. I only stated the reason why because i thougjt people would ask.

twoviewpoints's picture

I have a question, Gunny.

How long ago was this type of vacation planned and the beach house booked? Did your wife do the original scheduling and book the rental?

Just J's picture

I believe it. When I graduated high school, two friends and I were supposed to go to Palm Springs for a week. At the last minute, after I'd already gotten the time off from work, one of my friends wanted to change it because of this same issue. Yes she was an idiot and yes I was pissed. We ended up not taking the trip because I couldn't get another week off.

Gunner, tell DW to buy her daughter a box of tampons and suck it up. She cannot allow life to stop because of her period, that is ludicrous. She's going to be menstrating for 40 more years and the world isn't going to be put on hold for that.

And to the others who responded, can you be a little less harsh? What is wrong with you that you can't offer constructive advice or else just stay off the post? The snarkiness here is getting tiresome.

Just J's picture

Of course they can, that's not what I meant. You and others were being harsh to the OP, saying he must he making this up. Why, because you've never heard such a thing in real life? Therefore it must be a lie? Be a little more open minded and think outside your own little bubble.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Life goes on......regardless...

Entertaining this notion, is silly at best; of course you should go on your scheduled vacation.

Just do not consider taking her deep sea diving with sharks, LOL; all other water sports are perfectly fine to fully participate.

JustAgirl42's picture

'do not consider taking her deep sea diving with sharks'
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Oh man!! I'm sorry, but this really gave me the giggles! I've actually worried about that.

If this post is real, I can say that being concerned when on your period is not unrealistic for a youngster. My SD doesn't want to swim and do other activities when she has hers because unfortunately her mom won't allow the use of a tampon.

CANYOUHELP's picture

It is wise to worry about shark who can smell blood from miles away, but wearing silver or gold jewelry around shark can make you quite attractive, as well.

FieryEscape's picture

Some people have really heavy periods and can't go in the water. That is how mine are and it's a real medical condition. I dont even like to leave the house on the heaviest days . Super plus feminine products last me maybe an hour before they need to be changed. There is nothing anyone could do to get me into the water lol

still learning's picture

Will there be sharks in the water?! If not I don't see the problem. SD can use a freaking period cup or a tampon. I would not change vacation plans because of her period. Jesus, really, the fact that you even have to know this as a SF is unreal. I never announced to the family when I was on my period when I was a teen. Geez.

Disneyfan's picture

Am I the only one creeped out by a stepdad posting about his SD's period:?sick: :sick:

Damn, there was no reason to include that piece of information. Even if someone asked, you could have ignored them.

Some people only use pads, so yeah planning vacations around their cycles is normal for them. If that it's possible, then they (and their daughters) simply opt of the water activities during the trip.

Vacationing separately may be the best option for you and your wife.

notsobad's picture

Hahaha, tell your wife you are not moving your vacation and that she can either buy her daughter a box of tampoons or SD can not go in the water.
Sometimes life sucks.

KittyKatMomma's picture

this is what I told DH when we were taking the kids to the shore for a week.
BM had a cow-stating SD (who was 13 at the time) could wear a pad on the beach-and
before she gets in the water-take the pad out-swim for no more then 15min-then
get out and re-pad herself.

I told DH-that is NOT happening-I bought her Tampax-showed her the instructions
and she was fine. BM did have a cow over that because of the whole "virginity" thing.

BM doesn't believe in tampons or pads honestly-she prefers to free bleed

IslandGal's picture

EEWWWW!!! :sick:

notsobad's picture

"she prefers to free bleed"

Good god! How does that work???

She just lets the blood run down her legs? Gross

KittyKatMomma's picture

She swears she has these period panties she wears and they "catch the blood" however
I've been with DH for 10yrs and I've never seen her covered in blood-so maybe she's a lucky
one where she doesn't bleed heavily.

But I think she's nasty for pushing her ideas onto SD16 who prefers tampons or the cup

sasha101's picture

Sounds a bit extreme to change the dates just because one person is having a period. Unfortunately she's got many, many years of menstruation and will find throughout life that there are times periods can be inconvenient and there's a good reason many women refer to them as the "curse". It doesn't sound fair to me to expect the rest of the family to be inconvenienced and go to extra expense just because of one person's menstrual cycle.

uofarkchick's picture

Who is this person? They've been here 11 weeks so they must be an expert on all things Fruity. Guess we know who Sheldon came back as.

IslandGal's picture

Well, I come from a family of 5 sisters..none of us were reliable with that time of month. I find it curious, that your DW knows SD will be menstruating on those exact dates..unless she's on the pill.

Anyway, I would NOT cancel my vacation. No way, no how. Females have been having their cycles since forever and life didn't stop because of it. I think your DW is using it as an excuse for some reason.

Don't cancel - don't be manipulated by something this ridiculous.

As for the posters stomping on your ass for daring to mention such a thing...they'll just have to get used to the fact that your DW discusses this with you and this is why you're posting.. so vent away and don't let their comments get you down.

Luckyone's picture

I am going to Hawaii this summer and it will be shark week for part of the time. My doctor said he would prescribe me birth control to stop my period while I am vacationing. I don't know if they would do that for someone so young but it's worth asking.

Barring that, it's just part of life. It has to be dealt with. Tampons, the cup, there are answers.

Besides, the worst part of a period only lasts a couple of days. If she is uncomfortable, she sits out those couple of days. Big deal.

The one thing I wouldn't let happen is to have someone's period dictate my holiday. Why it is even a consideration is beyond me.

GRITSinAL's picture

She can participate in water activities even if she is on her period. No better time to learn how to handle this for her than the present! Surely humans do not still exist that think that us ladies don't swim etc. for one week out of each month. That is ridiculous.

GRITSinAL's picture

I guess so. I guess I would just tell her it is 2017. There are ways for ladies to resume normal activities during this one week a month. It is time for you to teach her. She's got 40 more years of this annoyance.

secondplace's picture

"I would tell your wife the vacation is still on and sd can deal with it or you can split the vacation fund she has been saving and each use half. If she says no to that than she can start paying her fair share of the bills freeing up some of your budget so you can afford a vacation with your kids."

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Agree with this!

Gunner's picture

My wife mentioned my step daughters issue as the reason for changing our vacation dates. I have never and will never have a discussion with my wife about that issue. I was just hoping to get advice on what I could do to keep our vacation schedule from changing not advice on the "issue". I'm not sure about asking my wife to pay some household bills. She doesn't get child support and her take home pay is much less then mine. I don't mind taking care of the home because we are a family but this is really grating on me. I think I will take the advice of splitting the vacation fund she saved and each doing a smaller vacation.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Gunner, I would go through this thread and delete all the comments that are off topic or otherwise don't make the grade. It's your thread, you can do it. I think you will have a better experience of trying to work out this dilemma if you can look at this thread and see at a glance advice and comments you find useful and not be bogged down with the rest.

As for the dilemma, yes, your wife is being ridiculous. The normal thing to do would be to teach the girl to cope and handle it but that is on mom, certainly not you, so that's out of your hands. Next thing mom could do is take the girl to girly things in the town, build sand castles, splash in the surf, etc. to have a good time while avoiding the full water immersion. That's it. It is not normal for women to stop the world from turning because they MAY be having their time of the month. No matter how regular normally, every woman is subject to irregularities at some point. There is no use planning every body's world around what may or may not happen with one young teen. It's part of growing up for girls, something you have to learn to handle for yourself.

So I would tell my wife "you can handle your daughter however you want, of course, but this is the week we planned and that works for us. If you can find another way to handle her I would just love to stick with our plan and us all be together at the beach. But if you can't, I don't see any other option but to take separate vacays. We will miss you."