Small update
So I took some advice and I filed for divorce which greatly upset my wife. She scheduled counseling and asked me to join her. We've been seeing our marriage counselor twice a week since. She has backed off her demands about supporting my kids and we are working on reconnecting with each other. My kids have come back and we will be starting family counseling next week. I have not caved and paid any of my wifes bills and I will not. I need to know if she wants me or my money. I still pay the household bills and I'm buying groceries why my kids are here. So that is what I have been up to.
A big source of contention that we are having right now is that my 13 yr old sd called me, Mr. Money bags after I refused to buy her a soda at the store. She heard it from somewhere and I think my wife calls me that behind my back.
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She has backed off because
She has backed off because she doesn't want the money train to leave the station. Yes, she is hoping that you will eventually go back to paying her bills.
Or maybe she's biding her
Or maybe she's biding her time to GTFO.
I still feel like this person is manipulative and controlling and uses money as a way to do that, which I think is gross.
Let's hope so. This poor
Let's hope so. This poor woman is caving and now has to watch HER husband fully support another woman while giving her no support / very little support at all. The fact he won't even get a drink for his stepkid is just such petty, ridiculous behavior I don't even know where to begin.
The fact people are PROUD of him for this is mind-boggling. Way to go, Gunner! You're being an utterly selfish, controlling ass. Again.
Every word of this.
Every word of this.
Here's the thing that gets
Here's the thing that gets me-
He was supporting his ex AND his current wife. From what I can tell of this situation, his current wife wasn't wanting for much-it seems Gunner makes plenty of money to go around.
The problems with current wife and not paying for her crap came from her severely disliking his children and trying to put serious constraints on his time with them while expecting HIM to support HER children when she wasn't holding THEIR FATHER accountable for their support. Her annoyance with his payments to his ex seemed to come secondary to that.
I don't really see how he's the bad guy here. Like at all. It comes down to greed. Why wouldn't she want his kids to live well and be well supported by their farther? Especially, when it doesn't seem to be impacting his ability to take care of HER student loans and crap as well? She wants him to support her kids, ditch his kids and not hold her baby daddy responsible? THEN she wants to make demands about his kids not coming for the summer or else? All the while letting her kids do whatever and not holding up to the rules they made together for ALL the kids?
PUHHHH LEASSE.
Gunner asked his wife to file
Gunner asked his wife to file for CS, which she did. She asked him to reduce the money spent on his kids, and he has refused.
As I recall, Gunner has been paying well above ordered CS because he didn't want his kids to curtail their standard of living, much to the consternation of his wife who sees his ex-wife living in a house that Gunner owns, rent-free, until their children are 25.
But you're right, Gunner's wife doesn't like his children, and would prefer to not see them. Because she said something to him, he has unilaterally changed the financial terms of their relationship in retaliation for being honest. Which he's entitled to do, of course, but it's gross.
Well if I also recall
Well if I also recall correctly, his wife also didn't express and concern until all of the sudden she wanted to switch vacation times that would exclude his kids (the excuse given was SD's period) and then when pressed further said something along the lines of "they don't deserve to go on vacation." I don't really understand why some people are taking total sides here, it sounds like they both suck at communicating maturely and feel they are entitled to more then is actually fair.
That right, the vacation was
That right, the vacation was what prompted Gunner to post.
For what it's worth, I agree with you Pharlap. This relationship is screwed up at virtually every level and they're both horrible communicators. It's not a marriage of equals, and neither seems particularly willing to even hear what the other is saying.
What I feel myself reacting to is the "punishments" that Gunner seems to levy upon his wife when she doesn't do as he wants. She is clearly not feeling safe in this relationship, and for what seems like good reasons.
Its his money he uses to care
Its his money he uses to care for his kids that she doesn't want around. From the sound of it she was getting her cut of his money until she decided to show her true colors.
"Gunner, if you think your
"Gunner, if you think your wife - or ANY woman who loves you - is going to be OK with you supporting another woman you are out of your mind. You think her objection means that she is "only with you for your money?" WRONG!!!"
I disagree with you here. My husband and I own the home BM lives in. She could never afford this school district otherwise.
Guess I'm an evil cow for not
Guess I'm an evil cow for not buying SS a soda either that one time. I mean never mind the fact that we just stopped at the store to pick something up and we had plenty of things to drink at home and the kid sure as shit doesn't need more of that poison.
Funny, all he said was that
Funny, all he said was that he didn't buy her the drink at the store. I didn't see anything about why he made the decision not to, but whatever.
Very true! Lol! Though of the
Very true! Lol! Though of the trolls we've had over the years this one is one of the better ones!
I'm working so I can only
I'm working so I can only check in every now and then so I'm sorry that I can't respond right away. We picked up pizza and coke from the local chain and I ran into the grocery to get salad fixings to go with dinner. My sd asked to go in with me and begged for a blue mountain dew and I said no. 1 - it was evening and mountain dew makes her hyper and 2 - I already had sprite in the car with the pizza. Me saying no had absolutely nothing to do with my wife and our problems.
I must be! I didn't buy her a
I must be! I didn't buy her a second soda when there was pizza and sprite in the car.
And mountain dew. It's like
And mountain dew. It's like acid on teeth.
Pulling into a gas station
Pulling into a gas station with five kids (3 his, 2 hers) and buying your three kids a $2 a piece soda and saying 'no' to the other two kids? Dick move.
Buying $2 soda for 5 kids, silly at $10 plus tax, but cool.
Pulling into gas station and telling all children in vehicle 'no', cool.
But this this Gunner. Part of his mo is leaving out pertinent to an event details. Makes the site bicker and drag his attention getting kick more appealing.
I already answered above.
I already answered above.
I agree and neither have I.
I agree and neither have I.
I'm proud of anyone who has
I'm proud of anyone who has the balls to put an end to being used.
This woman is making the CHOICE to sit back and watch her husband support another woman. She could have left(or stayed gone when she did leave). Of course leaving means she won't have the same standard of living. Since she's staying, I assume the stuff Gunner is able to provide is more important to her that own self respect/worth
No one forced her to marry this guy and no one is forcing her to stay with him.
But she's the mother. All
But she's the mother. All hail and pass the debit cards.
My ex and I co parent fine.
My ex and I co parent fine.
I think making a bunch of
I think making a bunch of food for breakfast and then telling one of his kids he can't have any is way more petty then not buying a drink for a kid at the store.
Fruity - I raised my kid
Fruity - I raised my kid always to be polite and never disrespect an adult. I do not care who the adult is, I do not care if you like the adult or not... but disrespect an adult and your ears will burn.
I raised my kid - take away food and cool drinks etc, are luxuries, you do not ask for it... you show appreciation if you get it. If you are hungry or thirsty - there's food in the fridge, fruit on the table, bread in the basket, water in the tap, fruit juice in the fridge...
Thus SO got a perfect little step son..... but what did I get in return mmm... you know Aergia chronicles
While I do not agree with the
While I do not agree with the drink thing, she is not some poor, neglected woman. He IS providing a home for her to live in. He IS paying all the expenses for said home.
So, what are her bills? Expenses for HER children? A vehicle? Fun money? Maybe student loans? Seriously, cry me a river.
This.
This.
This.
This.
Gunner - good for you for
Gunner - good for you for standing up for yourself.
Simply tell your wife, you do not condone her daughter disrespecting you and calling you names, and you will go through with legal separation. You can not remain in the same house until all is resolved, kids have manners and she learned how to pay her own bills and house hold expenses.
Go for legal separation. This will be the only way you can be sure she's in it for you and not for the money.
She decided to back off a bit and do counseling and all, yet her daughter calls you Moneybags... oh hell no...
she probably told the kids - we have to play nice for a while old Moneybags figured us out, lets do this pretend thing and give it a couple of weeks... then we are back to normal or only till I find a new Mr Moneybags.
I kow you love this woman, but love alone is not going to work out buddy... there's allot of woman out there who will take you for you, warts farts kids and all...
I agree with this. You're
I agree with this.
You're wife has shown her true colors and will again soon enough. She doesn't give a damn about you, hates your children, thinks hers come first.
You are nothing but money to her and she's gonna play you to keep it.
Good job Gunner, really proud
Good job Gunner, really proud of you for taking this stance & following through.
THIS Pull the plug and just
THIS
Pull the plug and just date until your kids are out of the house.
Make it clear to the women you get involved with that you will not try to control how they spend their money and that you will not allow them to control how you spend yours.
I know this but I love my
I know this but I love my wife and I'm trying to make this work. When we aren't fighting over this we are happy and we have fun together.
I doubt his SD hangs out with
I doubt his SD hangs out with his ex.
It says in the opening post
It says in the opening post "my 13 year old Sd"
Oh, probably me. Although I'm
Oh, probably me. Although I'm shocked I caught it because I am a scatterbrained mess today.
"She admitted to only being
"She admitted to only being with me for my money and that she can not stand me and that she never could. She said I was her way out and a better life for her kids and now she is going to take my money and find someone she is attracted to."
Why are you buying this woman ANYthing?
She only said it because she
She only said it because she was angry and she has apologized. We are trying to work on our marriage. I know i should leave but I feel so weak when I think of leaving her.
She may have been angry but I
She may have been angry but I think she was speaking the truth. Sure, she's sorry about saying it, now, but...
Right. I honestly could never
Right. I honestly could never get over that no matter what. That's worse than cheating to me.
Gunner, I love m SO to bits,
Gunner, I love m SO to bits, but yet I moved out, we are still together 5 years later
I got tired of his daughter and them spending my money. Living apart saved my relationship... it can save yours as well.. it's the only way you will find out if she loves you like you love her or if she loves your wallet like you love her
Ah Hell, Gunner man up! She
Ah Hell, Gunner man up!
She said it because it is the truth. She slipped up and revealed her true colors.
There is a silver lining
There is a silver lining here. When Gunnar's wife leaves, and when the expert's man goes missing, we can finally get Gunnar and the expert together for the Wedding of the Century!
I am beginning to wonder as
I am beginning to wonder as well. I think someone is just trying to get us to bash the SM and praise the BM. However, I don't care what your title is, if you are a manipulative user, I will call it as I "see" it. Although, as others have posted, we are only getting one side so who knows.
Seriously, I love how this
Seriously, I love how this post about delaying divorce and going to counseling turns into a debate about whether he is an asshole for not buying a 2$ soda. My BS7 asks for something every time we are at the store. Sometimes I say no, sometimes I say yes.. depending on what we have at home, what we have been doing and what's in my wallet. If I do say no, he sure as shit doesn't call me names because then he knows the answer will ALWAYS be no.
Seriously! And there are so
Seriously! And there are so many step parents on here that admit to not spending a dime on their stepkids and that's always ok. Now Gunner is evil for doing the same? Because it was automatically assumed to be out of spite? and then his SD confirms that his saying no was the right thing by calling him Mr. Moneybags. Geez, Gunner is just the worst!
I agree with Mommaduke's sentiment above: PUHH LEEASE!
Oh, Please. It's not the
Oh, Please. It's not the soda. It's his entire MO of withdrawing support (affection) when he doesn't get the behavior he wants...requiring perfection from his wife while handing huge amounts of cash to his ex with no strings attached. Anyone with half a brain could tell you this would cause problems and resentment in a marriage. If my husband was doing this, I would be gone...and it would have nothing to do with the money. It wouldn't have everything to do with his failure to empathize or to cherish me and our relationship.
So, no. Of course denying a soda doesn't make you evil. Ive denied treats to children I love and children I'm indifferent to for many reasons and for no reason at all...but my reason has never been a power play, because I don't use children as pawns. In this instance, mentioning that he said no to a drink right after mentioning that he was holding firm and not paying anything for his wife...that made the drink thing seem like an example of his "strength" on this issue. In previous posts, he has seemed to me to be petty, nitpicking, and tit-for-tat to the nth degree.
If he had other reasons for saying no to the drink, then fine. But it may do him some good to see how his actions come across to a significant number of outside observers. I also find it problematic that his SD called him a name and his first thought is that she must've heard it from her mother. Kids pick up sayings from all over, usually from TV. This is just another indication that Gunner is intent on punishing his wife and seeing her as the bad guy no matter how much she compromises for him.
Well yes. Obviously that was
Well yes. Obviously that was his follow up explanation. But in the original post it reads like an example of stuff he's no longer buying. He's been this petty in the past...and it's still clear that his wife is the only one doing any compromising at all here. How is that right or any kind of marriage? It's just a man with more power in the relationship getting his way.
I understood him telling the
I understood him telling the "Mr. Moneybags" story to convey why SD called him the name, not that he wouldn't buy anything for his skids. He did just buy them pizza and soda that was in the car.
Obviously OP and his wife both need to work on communication skills. Bigly.
Right. But you're mixing what
Right. But you're mixing what he told us in a follow up comment with the original post...which a significant number of people have read as I initially did...as an example of him holding firm on not spending anything on his skids. I was merely pointing out that the disdain wasn't over not buying a soda...I don't buy my skids sodas usually. It was over the perceived pettiness of his actions.
And I still see that his wife is compromising all over the place (going for CS, agreeing to counseling, agreeing to FAMILY counseling with his kids...) while Gunner has made zero compromises, has withdrawn support, and keeps pulling heavy, confrontational moves to get his way. I agree with the poster above who says it's gross and I feel sorry for this woman in a marriage with a man who clearly cares so little for her.
You're right about the
You're right about the original post and the comment.
But I totally disagree about the rest. I think it's weird that his posts are so polarizing on subjects a lot of us agree on.
Not at all. I support my
Not at all.
I support my husband and my stepkids and have no children of my own. He is the one who originally wanted to do counseling and she didn't want to. He said she had to for the marriage to proceed and she has now compromised and is willing to go. Nice try though.
Um...no. She is getting
Um...no. She is getting individual counseling to help her sort through her feelings about the stepkids. Again...her making an effort to empathize and come toward her husband for which I see no reciprocation. Is he trying to sort through his feelings about HER kids? From what I can tell...he's not. His feelings are fine (his stepkids are whiny, ungrateful brats) while her feelings are unacceptable (his kids are messy and dominate their lives when they're over). I don't understand this perspective he seems to have. She needs 'correction' for her feelings...his are no big deal.
The family counseling was his idea.
Also. I have never "gone after" him if you read my comments. He came here looking for advice and, taking him at his word that he was looking for a DIFFERENT perspective other than his own (after all...that is what he asked for) I gave some insights into how his wife might be feeling.
In all subsequent posts, he's made it clear time and again, in my opinion, that he doesn't care to understand or empathize with his wife at all...he just wants her to behave a certain way. That's the problem I have with his outlook, in a nutshell...and I can understand how "crazy making" that could be for a woman.
A. What you mean to say is- I
A. What you mean to say is- I jumped to conclusions, so did a lot of other people who were trying to hold him to task for something that ended up being tots reasonable. Whoops.
B. Of course she's going to "compromise" she stirred the pot said she hated his kids and is only in it for the money.
C. He did make concessions at the very least he never stopped housing and providing the basics for her.
No. I didn't "jump" to
No. I didn't "jump" to anything. That's how it read...and that reading is consistent with every other post Gunner has made regarding his skids. His skids thanked him for lunch but not for driving them to the mall...should he be mad? (petty), his skids wanted to play while on their beach vacation and were bothering his precious angels (petty), etc.
In general, his skids are ungrateful and annoying and his kids are perfect.
You may think it's petty,
You may think it's petty, maybe to him it's not. I promise you, when skids start forgetting manners, noses get bent-I see it all the time because little things add up. And from what I could tell, skids didn't go on vacation, their mom wanted to reschedule it to a time when his kids couldn't go. He's petty alright, for taking care of his kids. He also makes his kids follow the agreed upon house rules, according his blogs, skids aren't made to follow agreed upon house rules.
Again - why is it OK for him
Again - why is it OK for him to feel resentment and frustration about his stepkids but it's not OK for his wife? That's the issue. He's just rubbing her nose in it at this point...making her agree to 'deal with' her feelings about his kids...all the while feeling the same or worse about her kids and not offering to do the first thing about it.
It's hypocritical and wrong. And I never said his kids had to entertain hers. I said it's petty for a grown man to call kids "annoying" for wanting to play.
He was going to take all the
He was going to take all the kids on vacation, how is that ill will and resentment? He doesn't like that they're allowed to break the house rules and that their manners in his opinion are sub-par. Those are pretty normal feelings around here and yet no one has demanded monetary compensation as a fix to them-except Gunner's wife. Most of us are looking for ways to fix things or disengage when we have problems, not cut off time with DH's or SO's and jack up our price tag.
This all just seems illogical to me for someone who loves someone else.
Sorry I am so in a debat-y mood today.
Actually, according to Gunner
Actually, according to Gunner she saved for the entire vacation and he wanted "his half" of that savings.
lol. It's OK. Unlike Gunner,
lol.
It's OK. Unlike Gunner, I don't mind disagreement and I'm not going to freeze your accounts for arguing with me.
I just read this whole scenario differently. His wife's feelings seem very logical and normal to me. I'm not seeing how she has demanded monetary compensation because he doesn't like her kids? She wants him to NOT unilaterally withdraw his support because of a disagreement. I sympathize with her on that and think that's shitty behavior on Gunner's part. Punishing and petty.
As I've mentioned before, I am the higher earner in my household....and I do a lot to support my DH and his children. I would NEVER, EVER in a million years withdraw established support with just a couple weeks' notice because we'd had an argument. I think that's just crappy and unfair. I may talk to him about how we need to work toward him doing more to contribute to the household and chart out some steps for getting there...I think it's perfectly fine to realize you don't like the financial arrangement you have in place and to renegotiate and take steps to correct it. But good lord. I would never just say: "Aw. You don't have any money now that I've cut you off unilaterally because I'm mad about how you feel about my family?! Too bad. Guess you've got two weeks to figure it out."
This is what Gunner has done to his wife. He's given her no time at all to figure something else out...when school is coming up, they have a set way of life...etc. All because she had the nerve to express some negative feelings about his kids. This is what seems "illogical to me for someone who CLAIMS to love someone else." I see all of his wife's subsequent "crazy" actions stemming directly from her realization that Gunner is willing to disenfranchise her at the drop of a hat...to teach her a lesson and get the behavior he wants out of her.
He did not just impose
He did not just impose "punishments"on her- she LEFT. She had conditions in which she would return on. If someone discloses hatred for your kids, tries to exclude them from your life and leaves you should be financially responsible for that person? Especially when that person makes demands regarding their return that include less time and money for byour own kids and more money for her and hers?
No.
I get not wanting him to
I get not wanting him to funnel money to his ex-BUT
If he's paying some of current wifes bills, they can afford to take their brood on vacation, there is no indication of financial hardship-what is the damn problem if he makes sure his kids are well cared for? Its not like he's robnimnh peter to pay Paul.
The only thing I can think of is current wife just wants more $$$$.
Don't bother, nobodys. Logic
Don't bother, nobodys. Logic is lost on Lashy. She wouldn't understand an analogy if someone smacked her upside the head with a parallel or served her a simile on a silver platter.
Nobody, he never asked for
Nobody, he never asked for proof, she tried to exclude his kids from vaca, when he asked her to pay the money he was out after paying for family vaca, she refused-things blew up, he declined to pay for her *extras* any longer. While he was gone on vaca with his kids she left with stipulations for her return that included not only paying for her extras, but cutting the support he provides BM for his kids well being AND cutting the time he spends with them.
Nothing about how she feels, or is made to feel. If I were feeling some type of way-I would def not try to use my ill will toward my SO's kid for capital gain because that's not what you do when you love someone.
Um...he's asked for "proof"
Um...he's asked for "proof" repeatedly in these posts. That's really all he's ever talked about since the very beginning...his money and his fears that she's just using him.
And, surprise, surprise!!! It TOTALLY turns out to be true!! Who would have guessed?!
Also, he didn't pay for family vacation and then ask her to reimburse him. She saved up for it and said no to giving him half of that savings. Totally different thing. I would also be frustrated by this petty request, especially if I knew how much he earns and how much extra was going to his ex every month with zero strings attached.
Again, as I've said before. If Gunner had simply listened to his wife in the beginning rather than making it confrontational from the start (aka...making it about the $$$ by asking for the vacation fund after she expressed her desire to NOT vacation with his kids...a desire most of us here are very familiar with) then I don't think any of this escalation would have happened. His WIFE has fears and insecurities that she's not as valued or as important as his ex because she doesn't have kids with him...and he basically immediately confirms that fear by asking for the vacation money that he doesn't need in order to 'put her in her place' and remind her who has the power.
Read it however you want...but it just is gross and controlling. The whole thing could have gone much differently and much better if Gunner had behaved like a grown up, had some patience and understanding with his wife rather than making it a tit-for-tat scenario.
Honestly, I know I'd have a
Honestly, I know I'd have a problem with my DH providing that much support to his ex, HOWEVER, unless Gunner deceived his current wife about this support, or started doing it after he married her, then she knew what she signed up for and should accept it or leave. I knew my DH paid CS when we met. I was resentful of it, of course, and the extras, but I knew about it before I married him so I chose to accept it and marry him. It wouldn't be fair of me to try to force him to change the agreement for my own benefit. The only exception being if some circumstance occurred in which now I was paying these kid' and ex's expenses out of my own money, but that's not the case here.
As for withdrawing the support, his wife admitted she was only with him for his money, which I tend to believe is the truth, whether it was said in anger or not. So hell yeah he's right to stop paying for her, or else he's just a big fat sucker. This has nothing to do with punishing her for her behavior, it's a consequence for revealingly at she's a fraud and a user. I don't know about you, but the minute I find out I'm being used, I stop allowing it.
Where I see deception is in
Where I see deception is in the fact that everything was hunky dory until Gunner's wife was honest about how she felt about the skids. At that point, he unilaterally decided that his wife needed to file for CS and that she needed to pay her own and her kids' way as a punishment.
She admitted that she was with him for the money, but he admitted he was with her because she's hot. That's just as gross in my book. They're using eachother.
So...she shouldn't be able to
So...she shouldn't be able to change his level of support to another woman after marriage...because that was the deal and she knew it...
But...he should be able to unilaterally change his wife's deal in their marriage as punishment and make no compromises while she makes all the compromises. Got it.
I agree wife shouldn't have said those things...but I also doubt that's fully what was said. It's clear that Gunner has a fear/insecurity about his money, and I'm sure his wife has picked up on this. I know all my DH's deepest fears and, if I wanted to, I could serve them right back to him in the heat of the moment...because he's fed them all to me over the years. Mind you, none of these fears are what I think about him...but I know that they're the things he's worried that I think about him. I think it's very likely that Gunner is the kind of guy who "jokes around" a lot about his wife only being with him for his dough...so he either heard her saying that (he's demonstrated in a number of other posts that 1. she's not a great communicator, and 2. he's not that great at listening and understanding what she's really saying) or she said some version of that because she was very angry (I'd be very angry about this situation, too) and she wanted to hurt him.
I think it's perfectly
I think it's perfectly reasonable for a couple to talk about and reconfigure their finances together, which would include the wife filing for CS from her X and Gunner reducing his overpayments to his X.
What I don't think is reasonable is for him to cut his wife and her kids off of everything other than the house and utilities because he's p**ssed off that he wife told him the truth about how she feels about his kids. That's a punishment.
Gunner never kicked his wife
Gunner never kicked his wife out, he never stopped providing basics for her. He simply said that he wasn't going to be her wallet anymore because her specific stipulations to come back home after she left first and foremost included what he would PAY FOR.
Unfortunately for her, that sends a pretty clear message. In sum, she said you're paying ABC for me and you are going to provide less for your kids (even though he's been providing for them AND current wife with no problems) AND you're going to see them less-who is punishing who here? They both have poor communication but if my SO left-then said he would only come back if I paid for HIS XYZ he could stay gone.
Also unfortunately for her, it's Gunner's money. He can dole it out to whoever he sees fit. He still provided basics for her, anything extra for her and her kids fell back on her shoulders-the shoulders of an adult-where responsibility should be. All the while, she's advocating for less for HIS kids-who are kids and aren't capable of providing income for themselves and must rely on others. If Gunner and his ex-wife have things worked out they way they do-I would bet a large amount of money it was like that long before SM came along.
This whole situation boggles my mind.
The way I see it is that she's digging, and she see's more money to dig and she will take whatever she can from whomever she has to, including his children, to get it.
Just remember there are 3
Just remember there are 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the truth.
So true, so true.
So true, so true.
DH likes the root beer ones,
DH likes the root beer ones, but you have to try several to decide which root beer version you like best, apparently.
Gunner, I've read all of your
Gunner, I've read all of your blogs. I don't like your wife. I don't know why but I don't. Maybe its because of the way she handles conflict. It's not very pleasant. I think she lacks integrity to say you are unattractive and she only wanted you for your money during a fight and other things. Anyway I'm going to share with you this article that I've shared with lots of people here. https://markmanson.net/love He is a relationship expert. This article is a few minute read but it really, really opened my eyes about my own relationship. I think you should read it and then ask yourself if love is enough! Seriously. It's the best advice I can give you.
Hugs. You've been through a lot.
"I have not caved and paid
"I have not caved and paid any of my wifes bills and I will not."
But you're paying all of your ex wife's bills. If your wife is smart she'll take you up on the divorce.
Yep. He's even admitted in
Yep.
He's even admitted in previous posts that he could cut the extra 1K to his wife without hurting the quality of life for his kids. To me, this shows that it's more about him getting his way and doing what he wants, no matter how his wife feels about it...and without giving her any of what she wants...than it is about "providing for his kids."
I also hope she takes him up on his offer of divorce. And I normally root for the marriage to survive, when at all possible.