It has come to my attention today, in this moment, StepFolks, that I really have truly reached the ultimate IDGAF-about-SK level.  I have been struggling with this for months, ripping my heart out and clawing at my head disgruntled.  OMG.  It really dawned on me that I just do not GAF!!! It's incredibly difficult for someone like me (like most of us...) to NOT care.  But OMG a big weight has lifted off.  I really feel quite free and liberated.

SK misses the bus?  IDGAF (might be evil of me, but it's kinda funny to know they have to walk to school, they're such babies and whine about doing literally anything that it seems like a great natural punishment...would it work on most of us, probably not, because we accept natural consequences and probably enjoy a nature walk *biggrin*)

SK doesn't clean the kitchen table?  IDGAF 

SK refuses to take adults' trusted advice and ruin their own futures?  IDGAF

SK can't mooch off my good graces anymore?  IDGAF

SK doesn't have friends or family because he/she pushes everyone away and ruins everybody's livelihoods?  IDGAF

SK refuses to back down from an argument about the sky being blue?  "WELL...." "BUT....." "MY FRIEND SAID...." "I HEARD...." "I SAW ON TIKTOK...." Okay. Be wrong, then. Sorry, sky is blue. Water is wet. IDGAF. 

SK commits a crime, offends someone, gets socked in the face for cutting someone off in line or being cocky? IDGAF

SK goes to therapy and refuses to apply anything from it?  IDGAF

SK hangs out with degenerates after being instructed not to, and educated on why they shouldn't?  IDGAF

It's not that I haven't tried.  It's not that my partner hasn't tried correcting, educating, demanding standards of performance (a nod to you, Rags -- we love your tried-and-true stories).  It's just so liberating to be DONE! 

I don't know what has changed so rapidly.  I feel as though I've had an epiphany, although, this is not something that I'm just NOW having dawn on me.  It's just the fact it feels so natural.  I don't have to respond to stupidity, maliciousness, cruelties.  I don't have to be a victim of anything.  I don't have to change who I am for scummy people.  

I'd wager a bet that so many of these SKs are envious of what SPs have.  Trust that kids and teens CAN and WILL be outwardly envious and jealous.  It stems from insecurity.  Whether it be a strong relationship with their partner, a nice car, money in the bank, wealth of the heart (kindness, joviality, peace, self esteem, etc.) --- nasty people are nasty likely out of repressed envy.  I'm someone who LOVES to see my friends and strangers succeed.  My bestie got a promotion at our job, and I'm so incredibly proud of her.  Her and her boyfriend moved in together this summer.  He makes good money and bought her a well-deserved KitchenAid.  We chat almost every day on the phone, and I am just SO elated for her!!!  I cannot believe people exist in the world who are so disgustingly miserable that they want to see others miserable around them.  Not like it improves their lives anymore.  In fact, it's probably why they ARE so ugly at heart.  All that ill intent and nastiness just exudes.  

Anyways.... point being.... WOW. We do NOT have to be what people want us to be.  We do NOT have to fall prey to the tactics.  If anyone has ever read Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist, they explain the triangle dynamic of borderline-like individuals who rotate from being the victim, perpetrator, and martyr/rescuer.  Sometimes they're many simultaneously.  They move about life, conning everyone and making everyone walk on eggshells around them.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Should make a lovely gift for avid readers this holiday season, my fellow STkers. 

My total disposition just changed.  Congrats on all of us who have made it (sadly in a way) to this point.  Our IDGAF attitudes are what these lousy people need to be politely told to kick rocks!!  I have made SO much progress this year.  I am also taking all that emotional drain and energy, and investing it in myself and friends, and what makes me happy.  I am working to complete a job certificate, and I have paid down a significant amount of credit card debt.  I am SO proud of me.

And PROUD of this community!! *dance4*