Disengaging has worked wonders in my life. It's not just for steps. I discovered the same techniques work well with other family members, co workers, and recently a real pain in the behind tenant in one of my rentals.

There was a time I wasted so much effort and energy always trying to defend myself from accusations or complaints. I would spend endless hours trying to prove I was doing my best to be fair and considerate. If the step was not happy, it someway was connected to something I failed to do. When DH was inclined to coddle his adult daughters at the expense of my feelings, the hurt was often unbearable. I don't need to explain it all, Stepaside has covered every well honed antic the steps are capable of.

Over time I stopped concerning myself with defending my actions, I stopped accepting information that I could do nothing with. [Dh is eager to give me the latest news flash of the people I have had no contact with for 10 years] goes in one ear bypasses the brain and out the other ear.

"What a shame," or " Imagine that" even silence or nodding with a smile on my face has been learned through the practice of disengaging. After all, "Do I really care that in a short time history will be repeating itself again and odds are that I already know the end result.

I just dealt with a bounced check issue. I used all the learned techniques. Smiled, nodded. said nothing as she told me she would not be paying the check . She looked so shocked when the judge told her to sign the paperwork or face criminal charges.