We didn't need to pay out $20,000 and ss still has his bully.
I'm not sure if you guys remember me but my ss stabbed his bully and nearly killed him. Dh paid out $20,000 to the kids family out of the money we were saving for a down payment on a house. The bully sued bm and she counter sued and I guess the 2 insurance companies settled with bm being the winner and getting like $8,000 for ss. We didn't get our $20,000 back.
SS is still being bullied by this kid. The bully has been sent to an alternative school and we have a restraining order against him. Nothing seems to deter him. He has been arrested by violating the restraining order and attacking ss at the skating park. His parents are useless. He lives with his mom and her boyfriend and I think they are drug users. They don't care what he does. The only advice the police can give us that works is to keep ss in our sight at all times and not let him out alone. Well dhs hours at work have changed and he wants me to pick ss up from school since I work from home. This would be a huge inconvenience for me. I am talking huge. I would have to pretend to be at work since I can't just up and leave for a minimum of 30 minutes to go get him and bring him back. It's a 10 minute ride there 10 minutes back and however long in the pick up lane. I told dh sorry and that ss will have to walk. Dh is really pissed at me saying if the bully gets ss how will I feel. SS isn't helping by asking his dad where he can hide knives on the way to school so he can protect himself. I can't help them. I can't. I need my job. I like my job. I don't want to loose my job over this and I already hinted I may need to take my breaks that late and my boss said no. I don't know what to do.
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In high school the afternoon
In high school the afternoon programs aren't for every day of the week.
There isn't one for our
There isn't one for our neighborhood.
10 minutes with traffic
10 minutes with traffic because the schools are in a cluster. You have the elementary, middle and high school all on the same road. It takes most of the 10 minutes to get through the traffic. Once you are at the school you have to wait through the car rider line and then fight traffic to get out. The schools have a staggered release time but it's not enough and if you hit it right in the mornings it can take 30 minutes to get through the traffic.
He can. We are just worried
He can. We are just worried about the bully. The bully has to ride a bus to the alternative school (bad kid school) so he really shouldn't be there to bother ss but you never know. He could skip school and go attack ss.
In all fairness, my DS lives
In all fairness, my DS lives 10 minutes from his elementary school and is considered too close to ride the bus. It takes him 25 minutes to walk home.
In the district that I work
In the district that I work in, there is no bussing for students who live in a 1 mile radius (for elementary students) and 2 mile radius for middle and high school students, and this is actually a state ed guideline.
However, there are many other options like have a family member, neighbor or friend pick him up, or get a taxi, or an Uber or public transit. I also agree that there must be some type of program that he can go to after school, be it at the school or near the school. He can't be the only kid with parents who work and need after school care.
He did talk to an attorney
He did talk to an attorney and the attorney set up the settlement. He told dh it was in his best interest. I don't know anyone that is home that drives to get ss.
It is not his choice!! I'm
It is not his choice!! I'm not giving up my job for this. Dh and bm can figure it out. Dh settled before it went to court or we thought it would be going to court. Bm has homeowners insurance to fight this. We originally thought her home owners would cover dh to but it wouldn't because he isn't insured with them. We thought because ss lived there and protected bm that ss would be covered through her insurance since dh didn't have any. We were wrong. The attorney advised dh to settle and he worked out a settlement with the bullys family.
^This. Just pay another
^This. Just pay another parent who is already picking up their kid to drive ss home too. Even better, enroll ss in military boarding school and the issue disappears altogether.
Why was your DH a party to
Why was your DH a party to the lawsuit when BM is the custodial parent? I think he got crappy legal advice was this the Bully's parent's lawyer he dealt with directly?
I don't think he is going to be able to get any of BM money... since it appears it was two different court actions.
I would take BM to court for
I would take BM to court for the 8k as at least partial reimbursement of the 20k.
Doesn't SS have any friends he can ride home with, or do you have a family friend your DH can pay a little to pick him up? Seems like people would be willing to help considering the circumstances.
Bm supposedly put it away for
Bm supposedly put it away for ss to have for college. I doubt she'd give us any of it. She calls dh stupid for paying out to begin with. I don't know anyone that can pick him up. I just texted dh to see if he knows anyone that would be willing to do it.
Where does mom live? Why
Where does mom live? Why can't the kid go to mom's house after school until dad can pick him up?
He would have to walk to bms
He would have to walk to bms house to. They are both expecting me to pick him up from school.
Ss has been walking home all
Ss has been walking home all week because I won't leave my job and risk losing it. SS has a cell phone and he knows to call 911 if he sees the kid and then call me. I would leave and go get him for that. I won't risk him getting hurt if the kid is there.
Another incident and the
Another incident and the bully was arrested for it. He caught ss as ss was leaving the park and beat the hell out of him. If ss goes anywhere now one of us has to be with him. This kid really has it in for ss.
SS stabbed him, of course the
SS stabbed him, of course the bully has it out for him. Another classic example of violence begetting violence and round and round you go.
Don't you have to be 18? I'm
Don't you have to be 18? I'm looking into it now.
I wish we knew what we could
I wish we knew what we could do. The courts don't do anything but give him probation.
Fruits, if it didn't mean a
Fruits, if it didn't mean a problem with your job, WOULD you be willing to pick up SS? If so, is there any way you could take that pickup time as your lunch break?
I definitely agree this is a DH and BM issue and they are the ones who should be taking steps to care for and protect their son. If you were not in the picture, you would not be an option.
Are there any self defense
Are there any self defense classes available for your SS? At least that way he can defend himself if needed.
Tae Kwon Do is self-defense.
Tae Kwon Do is self-defense.
Is there any parent in the
Is there any parent in the neighborhood who could give him a ride? Someone who is picking up there own kid? Maybe you could pay them for gas.
Go to Caredotcom and search
Go to Caredotcom and search for someone you can hire to do this pickup. There are lots of very good people there looking for child care related jobs. Retired teachers, grad students, even health care workers, etc.
Your dh was willing to pay $20k. He should be willing to pay $15-$20 a day for a responsible and experienced adult to handle this transportation issue. And you won't lose your job.
We used Caredotcom to hire a wonderful grad student to babysit autistic teen ss. She was awesome. We had the choice of several great applicants.
Wait.. the money thing. Why
Wait.. the money thing.
Why did your DH pay money if it wasn't settled by the court yet? Why didn't he get the money "back" when SS won?
He sounds pretty dull...I'd
He sounds pretty dull...I'd remove myself from this mess.
I would do it for my skids
I would do it for my skids only because it would help DH. I'm not particularly fond of the boys and BM can go suck start a sh!t vacuum for all I care.
Uber?
Uber?
http://www.techlicious.com/ti
http://www.techlicious.com/tip/free-personal-safety-apps/
There are apps that have you literally keep your finger in a certain spot on your phone and if you take your finger off it will call the police. They were made for women to use walking in high crime areas, campuses, etc. but he might need to use one.
Can DH pay for him to take UBER or Fare?
Everyone beat me to it-
Everyone beat me to it- standing cab/uber ride and safety app are good options. Also get him some pepper spray- given the situation I'm sure you can get school approval for him to carry it.
How come BM doesn't use some
How come BM doesn't use some of that $20K to arrange a safe trip home for her son?
20k was paid to the other kid
20k was paid to the other kid not to BM
Thanks. Then how about she
Thanks.
Then how about she use some of the $8K for that?
Your husband cannot expect
Your husband cannot expect you to do something he isn't willing to do. If he won't leave his job to collect ss then he cannot expect you to leave yours. Just because your workplace is close to the school and there is no one physically there to see that you're missing does not mean you need to take on his responsibilities.
Maybe your husband should not take the new job.
THis is very easy..... YOU to
THis is very easy.....
YOU to DH : DH SS is not my son, if you can't pick him up or drop him off then BM should. Both houses are 10min from school... I don't see why you should if BM is sitting at home doing nothing.
He paid the bully's parents
He paid the bully's parents 20 grand and now wants you to pick him up after he completely robbed you of a down payment and cannot organize a drop off/pick up system? He probably couldn't organize a piss up in a pub.
Depleted your savings without your consent and now expects you to just drop everything to take care of the situation his son is in which he completely F'd up.
Charming.