Ex dh still hasn't seen his kids
Dh still hasn't tried to see our kids or contact me to see how they are. He completely cut them off. I filied for child support because I desperately need the money and i am getting squat because bm gets a majority of his money!! Its not even enough to cover daycare. My mom offered to let me live with her and to help me with the kids but it means moving accross the country. I sent soon to be ex a text and he never responded. How can he not care about his kids? I am so broken hearted over this and my kids miss their dad. Why is ss the only kid that matters???!!!
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move to your mum, you do not
move to your mum, you do not need him ...
he will have to explain one day to his children why he never supported them and only worried about a criminal
stop begging him you are only lowering your self esteem and self worth while boosting his, stop contacting him, it's not worth it,
pack up and leave, start fresh where no one knows you or this bad nightmare you have to call history....
there's a good life out there for you, grab it and enjoy it, money does not make happy kids, nor happy childhood memories, children remembers the good times they had and the fun they had, with no money with a parent loving them, give your children at least that... move to mum , even if you live poor but be happy and have happy children
I still need money for
I still need money for daycare so I can work! Why should bn get all his money when I have more kids then her and mine need daycare!!
if the court gave an amount
if the court gave an amount there's nothing you can do about it......
I think filing for support is
I think filing for support is smart. Your kids will need to be supported while they grow and your ex is the father, so it's also his responsibility. Support is for the children so they don't have to live like paupers.
As for the lack of contact with the kids, that's truly sad. Really, very sad. I was watching an episode of Judge Judy yesterday where the mother wanted the father to pay for eyeglasses and dental work. Judge asked the father why he'd seen his kids only ONCE in SIX YEARS. His reply: while on leave from the military, he spent his time visiting family. Judge's reply: your children ARE your family!
Some men just don't get it, don't have the paternal gene in them. Same goes for some mothers. It's just a really, really sad situation when the kids have to pay for their parent's shortcomings.
Move closer to your mother. You might need to get permission from the court to do that, but if you can show that your ex has no interest in maintaining contact with his own kids (again, sad), you'll probably be allowed to do that. And yes, get support from him.
I'm so sorry for your kids. I hope they'll adjust okay to all of the changes.
I would move. If he isn't
I would move. If he isn't making an effort you might as well go to where you will be helped financially and emotionally supported. I am so sorry that your kids have to go through this.
He told you he didn’t wish to
He told you he didn’t wish to see them until they were 18. I’d file for support and move with your mom. Forget that mess with him. He’s a callous man. By the time your kids grow up, they won’t want anything to do with them. Wow. People are nuts
I'm so sorry you're going
I'm so sorry you're going through this and all the other crap you've gone through with exH and his kid. Please file for support ASAP, your kids deserve it.
First, How is the
First, How is the investigation over the molestation of your DD proceeding?
Second, His BM has a court order for CS... you will need to file for your own CS as well. Once you have a court order, you can attempt to have it enforced by having his wages garnished etc...
If you need to move to have support caring for your kids, then you need to do that.
I think one of the roughest
I think one of the roughest things for DH to accept is the fact BM doesn't care about the Skids... For a while there he had this blind side... I'd see she showed up to something high and I'd tell him, his response: "She wouldn't do that to the girls... They're her kids..." But sadly (like super sadly, it's caused the Skids TONS of pain) not all people actually love their kids enough to care, or enough to be responsible...
It's taken DH a while to realize, now we just treat them like just our kids and work our best to give them the best environment we can... She's not around, she's on drugs, she admitted to her sister she doesn't actually love or want them and really just likes the "mom" image they give her... And it sucks. Mostly for the kids, but even they've started to adjust. As long as you don't make a big deal about it and you're there for them, they're going to be alright. Not gonna lie, the first few months were definitely rough... Lots of tears and wishful thinking, but it buffered out, neither want to go back with her, because they notice a difference, and I feel for them having to go through it all. But kids are resilient, once they adjust it'll be okay.
However, you should file for support, at the very least you could get the money to help them, which while you're getting on your feet especially would be invaluable to them and you.
I wish you the best!
***Edited**** nevermind- read
***Edited**** nevermind- read some old blogs. I'm not bothering. Good luck.
How are you supporting
How are you supporting yourself SINCE you don't work?
Call your Social Services office today---make an appointment and sign UP. They will go after your ex for support.
Anyway social services will give you day care vouchers, food stamps, wic, welfare/emergency money, help with light bills. And if you can not pay rent, they will help you find subsidized housing. Some are decent 3 bedroom townhouses with most bells and whistles.
Please do not burden your parents with this kafuffle by moving in with them. They are Grandparents. Keep this totally separate. They may have offered. BUT... Your job is to figure this out and use all recourses available to parents in the same situation.
I work but i don't make
I work but i don't make enough to cover daycare and living expenses on my own. I'm a teacher. I have a court order for child support. Its 250 a month. Daycare is $200 a week for my 2 girls.
So, you have full custody of
So, you have full custody of your two girls with your STBX and the CS order that came out was for $250/week?
If that is the amount that is calculated according to your state then I guess that's what you are going to have to "live with". It sounds low, but we aren't privy to how it was decided upon.
Keep in mind that a CS order is not intended to cover 100% of the costs of raising your children.. you are also expected to make a contribution in relative terms.
Do you make a lot more than your EX? It might be that the courts expect you to pay a greater portion of their care yourself.
A month
A month
"I work but i don't make
"I work but i don't make enough to cover daycare and living expenses on my own. I'm a teacher."
How is that possible? Are you certified? Do you teach in a public school?
This doesn't surprise me at
This doesn't surprise me at all. My sister is a teacher and can barely afford her student loans, a 1 bedroom tiny townhouse and a car payment. The girl struggles as a teacher! There is no way on earth that my sister could make it as a teacher with 2 kids essentially on her own.
Right, but where is the rest
Right, but where is the rest of the support he should be providing? So Daycare is $800/ month- she get's $250 for CS. What about food, what about housing, what about clothes, what about school supplies, insurance, everything else?
Her best bet is to accept help from her family. It would not be fun to move back in with Mom and Dad but not many people can afford to work and raise 2 kids with that little support.
Child support is quite
Child support is quite simple. It’s first come, first serve. Plainly and unfairly. If BM1 serves DH first then child support is calculated based off his TOTAL INCOME; if BM2 files for CS second then the court will deduct Kid2’s child maintenance based off of DH’s total income MINUS kid1’s child support.
So 1000/week - 300(CS1) = 700, child support for Kid2 is determined from the 700 not the 1000. First kid on the docket, gets the bigger slice.
You are absolutely correct on
You are absolutely correct on that statement. However in my state they can take up 60% of the paycheck. I would be curious if 60% of his check (or whatever the state deems fit) is actually being taken in this case.
Here's the thing if daycare
Here's the thing if daycare is 800 a month and he pays 250 why is it fair that she have to pay the other 550? That is not even 40% split. She is going to work to ssuppoert their kids not party.
Does your state have a calculator that you can run the numbers through. My ex pays support to ex wife #1 and that is calculated in. As is daycare health insurance and the support.
CS should always be split
CS should always be split evenly between all the children. I mean... the first kids aren't more important than the 3rd or 8th, right?
I agree but the common sense
I agree but the common sense thought of if you can't afford more kids you don't have them would not translate well in that circumstance.
True, however what people
True, however what people realistically pay and what the government dictates should be spent are very often quite different.
the U.S. News and World
the U.S. News and World Report Best Jobs of 2017 rankings. The report showed the median salary for a U.S. high school teacher was $57,200 in 2015. Florida Department of Education data show the average salary for a teacher in Florida was $48,179 as of April 2016.
I make 38,943.
I make 38,943.
Since you are willing to
Since you are willing to answer that question on your income, I'll ask you this next one. How much is your STB-ex's income and how much CS is he ordered to pay for his prior child (not how much he might actually hand the BM for SS, but what is he actually CO'd to)?
Is the CS order based on the
Is the CS order based on the state's calculator or is it some temporary number you agreed to? Do you have any options for less expensive daycare? How old are the children (I know there's a 4 year old, are there two 4 year olds?)? If that's all that you're going to get from your STBX, I would be inclined to move closer to family to get help. Your STBX has said he doesn't want to see the kids until they're 18; that being the case he shouldn't object to an out of state move.
Don’t forget. CS is
Don’t forget. CS is determined by his salary. Period. Doesn’t matter what she needs or wants. The number of children will be taken into account along with insurance and all. Her list of wants and needs won’t play into it. When the settllement comes, they can work out details. Just keep in mind it’s based on his income!!!