Forthelifeoftheparty's Blog
Marriage Talk
DH and I went to an informal talk with other couples about the challenges of marital life.
50% of the couples had kids. Besides us, 100% of every other couple was in their first marriage.
I’m sorry. I know it isn’t right to compare and it doesn’t feel good when nonstep parents compare their situations to ours. But I’ve just got to pause and internally chuckle at the struggles I heard about from the couples who did not have children, let alone skids and BMs to contend with.
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I did something dumb
I looked at BM’s fb and got a stomach ache over all of the lies. She paints this rosy picture of her life and who she is. All of it is absolute bullcrap.
DH was disappointed in me for “diving into the muck” and giving her power over my mind. He chooses to ignore her. He is wise.
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The Way BM’s word things...
It is as though she is the CEO of divorced moms everywhere. Every sentence has too many damn adverbs. They ooze drama that is “professional sounding” in the way those scam emails that pretend to alert you to an unauthorized user logging into your Apple iTunes account are. You know what I mean, Steppers? Please comment with examples so I can laugh. Ten more years. Ten more years of this psychopath. I saw her the other day. Geez does she look like dried dog poop flakes so gracefully ironic in the wind.
DH gets weekly Emails with these phrases:
Just a friendly reminder..
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Counseling Continues
Went to counseling. With DH. Let DH lead. We were united.
I am shocked to say I felt counseling was worthwhile.
I do not believe SD13 is telling the counselor much beyond what her mother dearest has instructed her to say or carefully put into her head over months of manipulation. Nonetheless, I did get some tips on how to maintain my cool when dealing with a stone-faced adolescent who spies on me and craps on my kindness in a way that is so quiet, it can barely be addressed.
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CS-Free Island, Ten Years’ Journey Away
Ten years. It will be 10 years before the financial responsibilities my DH has to SD will be overwith. Until then it will be court every year with the ex-wife who will try and claim that DH should pay her more money.
To me it is like paying for a car that you wrecked as soon as you drove away from the car dealership. It is beyond frustrating because you know that the money is going to support poor parenting and an attitude of entitlement. Not to mention all of the lies attached.
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Treating the BM Like A Disease My DH Will Always Have
This morning I’ve been reading about Narcissistic Personality Disorder from a narcissist’s point of view on Quora. Interesting stuff.
I’m pretty sure BM has NPD based on her actions, opinions of people who have known her for decades, and oh yeah, that little golden psyche report which came back “inconclusive” during the divorce.
How Do I Stop These Thoughts?
I often wake up with thoughts of sincere sympathy for my SD13. I worry for her future, for her development as a human being in a world that (mostly) values honesty and individuality. I imagine her future will be riddled with emotional blowups and lost friends. Or it will be some elaborate scheme where she is just like BM, absolutely hollow and at the “top” of her imaginary world.
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Emotional Goals For Today
Well today is the second day in that LONG Christmas 1/2 break I’m sure many of you are feeling with your skids.
When sd13 got here yesterday, DH asked her to apologize to me again for her theft and for the things she said to me. To which I responsed, “Ok. Thank you for your apology.” I don’t believe she is sorry. I believe she knows she is stuck here for 5 days and so she is acting right to prevent any discomfort.
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Unsure If I will go back to counseling
counseling felt like a waste of time and money.
I like being disengaged from SD13. I like being polite and relaxed. I am able to be that way because I am emotionally disengaged from this child who steals from me.
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Counseling
well counseling was today.
Generally disappointing as the counselor seems to have bought into BM’s sad sad nonsense. Hopefully I am mistaken.
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