Your first post is a lot like a lot of other first posts....mine included. Look on the bright side...at least they will go home at some point. My skids live with us. They never leave. They don't even leave to go visit with their mother because she is a trashy whore and is only approved for supervised visits and she hasn't done one of those since Oct. 08. No hope for me ever getting a break. Just start yourself a secret countdown somewhere and treat yourself to something special when you've made it to the end!

You just won't immediately bond with them. It is very hard in a relationship where you are not 'mom' to share your fiance' with them. You just want him to be yours and that is what you have to get passed. Find moments to share something you really like with them and don't forget to take time for yourself. Be patient with yourself, tell your fiance' you are trying hard, and be patient with the kids as well.

Please, don't marry him until you can tolerate his kids.
It won't be fair on you nor him.

When kids aren't around you can be as intimate as you want. But like intact families the intimacy has to wait until things are more 'convenient'. Welcome to our world.

If you cant handle having the step kids around maybe you should be with someone who doesn't have kids of their own?
Sorry to be blunt but I'm in a marriage where my DW cant accept my BS. Knew I was a package deal so deal with it either way.

I think it takes time to adjust. If you don't have them much, and then all of the sudden, you have them for a long stretch, that's an adjustment for everyone. I agree with taking time for you and fiance to stay connected. What about "family" outings, or dad taking the boys to the batting cages? Mini golf? Water park? Have the boys get "invested" in the house, like helping come up with an idea for dinner each week and help make their idea (but maybe do this with one at a time). I was having a really hard time getting my BF's son (7) open up to me. He's very much into the Prince of Persia (books about the movie but not the movie), so I read the books. Not exactly my kind of reading, but it didn't take long, and when he saw I was reading them, he grabbed a book and came and sat next to me and read. Then, the next time I saw him, I used the books to start a conversation with him. So, while I don't really have much in common with a 7 year-old, I still had to make the effort because I love BF. BF also noticed, commented on, and appreciated the effort on my part. Interacting with you may be just as awkward for them as it is for you. Welcome!

Anabihibik has a great post.

When they come its a complete disruption of your life, home, and routine. I understand. We do more when SD is here to keep her mind occupied than we do all year. If she is not busy she is annoying and makes sure everyone else is miserable.

Hang in there....I silently count down the days, hours, and minutes till she leaves. Nothing wrong with that.

It would be great to have only summers with the SK's. I know it is a huge change to your day to day routine, but honestly it is a few months. Most of us don't have that. I feel like I just get used to us being together and then SS is back. One week on and one week off is so difficult. It is better than the crazy schedule we had before. But honestly, just put up with it and then know that they leave and go back to BM's. You have 9 months until they come back.

So glad to hear that I am not the only one counting the years, days, minutes, seconds until SS 11 goes off to college. Time passes fast right? Just doesn't seem so when little pampered prince is around (every other day and every other weekend). Date night is such a great idea and in my mind absolutely crucial. If your SS is there for the whole summer, you need a break. Get a sitter if there is no family around. Find one yourself if he is too lazy. If your man considers you and you explain nicely how you miss the quality time, he may get a sitter and give you a much needed break. If it turns into a great night for him (hint, kinky sex or whatever it takes) it may be HIS idea next time to get a sitter! Here's the rub. My man feels so guilty about not being with the little prince every second of his life, that he refuses to get a babysitter. This may happen to you too. I can hear your guy saying, "but I only have him for the summmer." If that's the case, what can I say except they eventually grow up and move out(let's hope).

your 8 and 10 year olds sound like my 15 and 17 year old skids. i didn't mind them in the beginning - i wasn't their friend, but i didn't mind them as much as i don't like them now. they're lazy and do the video games and computer thing. they try to dirty all my dishes and never clean up after themselves. they irritate the shit out of me when they come over but when i try to talk to dh about it all it does is cause a fight so i just block them out and count down the minutes until they evacuate my house.

noway i cant stand when it's his weekend!! i like to keep a clean house...i have a 3 year old and a new baby and try hard to keep my house in order and nice and neat and then they come...and it's a MESS!! i mean they have to be reminded EVERY time they go to the restroom to flush and wash their hands!! and they are 10 and 6!! every time!! i would hate to even step one foot in that woman's house!! then they are always sick with some contagious something...coughing and sneezing all over my house and my baby's stuff!! i am in such a rotten mood the entire time they are at my house!!

Ok I'm new here. My future step children are 20 and 23! They are grown but are treated like 2 and 4 yr olds! The "mother" said if i'm living here her children won't be. come on they are 20 and 23!!! PLEASE only if that would happen!!!!!! my life would be GREAAAAAAT!!!
They move in and out. Can't clean after themselves, we buy EVERYTHING! the youngest one stills from the house! Thinks everything is his and uses our home as his own personal grocery store! I stopped cooking and cleaning! I don't buy anything anymore when i do it's dinners for 2! The youngest wants to party like he is still in high school. His dad (finally) kicked him out this last time! he has no job but a car. the oldest has a car but needs a new motor which his dad will pay for. he does to to college but has no job. his dad gives him money.
their "mother" sits on her throne and judges what i do.
my daughters (same age as his boys)are grown and on their own. My oldest finished college last year and has a full time job...worked full time during college...her last year of college she married and took care of a 1 yr old step-daughter.
his oldest goes to college for about 2 hrs, 3 days a week, doesn't work...plays video games, surfs the internet and plays a gay card game and eats and messes, stays up till 1am and sleeps till noon! can't even take trash out or mow the yard! has to be TOLD what to do!!
i work 9 hours a day and i shouldn't have to come home to clean before i start dinner then clean...again! not after a 23 yr old!!!
my youngest is in college and works full time and has a baby on the way! his doesn't have a job! calls only when he needs something, like money or somewhere to live or comes over when no one is home and takes what he wants/needs!
my daughters have worked for everything they have...his sons have been givin everything!!!
when i say they need to grow up, clean up or anything we fight! the way i see it they will be 50 and still living at home mooching off of daddy!
his oldest is my oldest age and should be done with college and have a job...but no! then he tries to make everyone feel bad for him saying all his friends are done with college and he's 23, still living at home...please!
i blame the parents for this!!! stop treating them like children and make them grow up!
love hurts...be a parent...NOT the "cool" parent!!!
so....all i can say is if you have them while they are young, teach them NOW!!!
giving them everything they want and cleaning after them WILL NOT HELP THEM! it will only hurt them AND YOU WILL SUFFER! you will be supporting them and taking care of them until you say enough and leave! the next man i date WILL NOT HAVE A EX WIFE OR CHILDREN!!!!!

I have the exact same problem with my skids. They are 11 and 10. Both are obese (doctor said it, not me) and eat constantly. They even sneak food. I have tried cooking healthy for them but they cry and complain about the food and make themselves throw up so they don't have to it eat it. They used to do nothing but play video games and watch television, but we took the video games away as a punishment a few months ago and still have not given them back. They trash the house constantly. I used to have a chore chart up for them but got tired of DH not backing me up so I tore it down and threw it away. I have finally just disconnected myself from them. I find it is harder to get disappointed and upset when you just don't care anymore. If they make a mess, I just leave it for DH to clean up. I clean around it and do my own thing. I am much happier this way. Well, as happy as I can be in the situation.

2011 Cars

I have 34 minutes till mine leave ...then I'll breathe again..can't fucking wait till they go

Fifteen minutes yippee

They've gone .

Gone! Thanks to the snow and the fake cold cough cough. Think hard about it fna it will probably get a lot worse