frustrated, Please cancel this wedding. You know in advance that its not going to work out so why make it worse? You aren't married to the guy so why not get your own place, date and be happy? The 15 ro isn't going to change and with the economy being so bad even if the college kd graduated he probably couldn't find a job and move on.

I would cancel it...... If he doesn't see the need to make the boy respect you know.... He will not later.

Think long and hard before saying i do to that man and his family issues.

If your FH is not doing anything to rectify the situation now, then it will only get WORSE, not better. Letting his son call him names? No. This is not a healthy situation, as your FH clearly has no desire to be a parent to his children.

You are in a wonderful position, as you are not yet married. Please take our advice- do not go through with it. Love is just NOT ENOUGH to make this work. It sounds like you have a LOT of anger in you right now and this is no way to go into a marriage.

Save yourself, save your sanity. And walk away.

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

Hi Maine--You are writing this blog because you sense that something is wrong. You are much smarter than the rest of us who showed up after we had made marriage mistakes. You don't have to experience the pain of a marriage mistake!

You may have a great fiance, but get ready to live with disgusting SS15 and his mother for YEARS. Your hard-earned money will fund SS15 because his own mother won't--are you willing to do that?

Your fights with your H will be over--you guessed it--the fact that SS15 is rude, indulged, and lazy. Your H will side with his SON, and you'll just have to pay to house and feed SS for the next 10 years or so. Oh, don't think that SS will leave at 18! If his father is allowing horrendous behavior now, why would the rules change when SS is 18?

You'll be told that SS is "misunderstood" and "needs a chance." You will be accused of "being mean" and "not trying hard enough to establish a relationship with SS." All of a sudden you'll wake up and realize that your husband believes the problem is YOU, and not his dear little misunderstood brat.

You don't need this dysfunction to take over your life. Hold off on marriage until your man takes control of his kid, or you'll be posting here for a long, long, time.

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

It's a tough decision because you do love him, but what Sarah (and everyone else) wrote is right on target - I know, I'm living it now although the SD doesn't live with us, thank goodness. According to DH, SD is just misunderstood, I'm the adult and should give her yet another chance; I'm the mean one, and it's my fault because I'm the one who doesn't want a relationship with his kids. And the two sentences that really piss me off are "you don't like my kids because they're not yours", or "you don't have kids, so you don't understand". Maybe I don't have bio kids, but by golly, I do have common sense, which a lot of birth parents seem to be lacking! No matter how hard I try or what I do to try to get along with them, it's never good enough. It's a two way street and it takes EVERYONE to make it work, including daddy dearest. There are times when I feel if he'd just back off from the situation, it would work itself out. As one counselor told us, the battles between SD & SM should be just that - between us and not with DH running interference, however, DH should back SM up when appropriate.
Please, Maine, before you get married, please please seek counseling and try to reach some agreements and rules regarding the SS; if you don't get a handle on it before the "I do's", your life is going to be a nightmare.
God bless & good luck!

most of us will say that you should run run run like my very smart friend Sarah some of us are working on trying to salvage a little of ourselves AFTER the fact, and if you are on here then you know something stinks in Denmark (or something like that) unless your FH starts growing a couple then dump him and save yourself!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

he calls your fh a filthy name grab a bar of soap and shove it in his yap.If fh is not doing anything about it i would at least wait before getting married and if ss is not seeing through his bms bulls#@%then he is probably a mamas boy.And when you put a mamas boy and a stepmom together not good results he will always be a mamas boy.So be careful about your next step and dont get in over your head.

is nothing wrong with you at all its her craziness that is corrupting your normalness.Trust me my dhs ex has brought things out in me i never knew existed.

you must change your locks on your doors.My dh ex is the same way you cant talk to her she screams yells so loud the people in the same room can hear her on the phone.We took a vacation in the summer and my mother was here and she harrassed my mother i couldnt believe it.She has been physical with me and very verbal every single time i see her.She is noy allowed around our house and she is very unpredictable.

Rules rules rules need to be set! Zero tolerances, if the schools don't tolerant that behavior why should you! He might not like you but he will respect you! I say don't let that little p*ss cake run you off f**k that! If you love this man then you guys need to ban together and have a unified front! Tell him how you feel and flip the script ask him how he would feel if it was you with a kid with a foul mouth and bad disposition and treated him with such disrespect! Tell him its not fair and its embarassing!