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Summer Scheduling

FlaminMama's picture

Submitted by FlaminMama on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 8:01am

So this summer we have decided with biomom to let the kids come live with us for a week at a time and alternate back and forth between the two households. This all steps from the fact the the ss (11 yrs old) wnats to come live with us. How conveinent for her that she has her parents set up camping trips for a week long on the weeks we are supposed to have them. Just so he can't see what it would be like to live with us. What to do???

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lovin-life's picture

Submitted by lovin-life on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 9:04am

My "x" has the kids every second weekend...unless his weekend falls on a long weekend or New Years then he cancels. We've learned not to expect to plan adult activities/parties, etc on these occasions...ever!

He wanted to switch the ENTIRE SUMMER schedule to accommodate the long weekends that fall on his visits this year .. so it doesn't look like he's blowing them off to party quite so much!

My BF has to pick his vacation for 2006 in the fall of 2005...we've already planned around who has the kids when.... It's the same every-year. But knowing this...The "X" holds us hostage until June...then he dictates to us at the last minute when it is convenient for HIM to have the kids for a week. (It's supposed to be 3 weeks..but that has never happened!!)

I try to roll with it...and the kids are getting older..they're also getting thier own ideas about where they want to go & what they want to do..

After 5 years of Dad blowing them off showing up late, etc....their interest in spending time with him is fading. (Out of sight out of mind?!)

After re-reading my post...it sounds like..I'm saying.. let the X make all the calls..and weed you out... but what I was getting at ..is the kids wishes are becoming more of a factor. His actions are catching up to him. As the kids get older they have more of a say in how they would like to spend their weekends, vactions, etc.

Sorry... I get caught up in my frustration / disgust with my "x" sometimes...

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 9:05am

Is there anyway that you can make her stick to the schedule? She obviously thinks that she has all of the power and that you guys can't do anything about it. That is very frustrating. We have been there.

Does your stepson know that he is going camping instead of coming to stay with you or is biomom keeping him in the dark?

Dawn

lovin-life's picture

Submitted by lovin-life on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 9:52am

Wouldn't those weeks be considered hers since the time is with her family? And she is the parent who has dictated/overseen the activities for that period of time? You should have him on the weeks you are able to be responsible for his activities......

FlaminMama's picture

Submitted by FlaminMama on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 12:48pm

What is so funny is that she always dumps her kids off on anybody. Her mom and dad are always taking them off her hands. She never has them, I am not kidding, they sleep over their house almost every night, because she has to get up "early" But god forbid we get them, she always makes us excuses. It all boilds down to she wants all the control. The court document states that if she doesn't have them we are supposed to. She is supposed to call us and ask, and she doesn't she just tells the kids that she did call and that we said we didn't want them. Which was really upsetting the kids so I sat them down and told them that she lied. I looked them square in the face and said she is a liar. She didn't really like that but oh well. I refuse to lie to the kids or let her lie about us.
So my question is how do you set her straight without making big waves.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 1:17pm

Isn't that contempt of court? If it states that in the court document I would use that. I wouldn't let you keep taking time away from you guys. Use the court document!!

Dawn

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Fri, 06/02/2006 - 2:48pm

Don't think so, even though court papers says that holidays/vacations are suppose to be divided equally, biomom had always made the schedule and no it is not divided equally. She rules the scheduling thing and I'm irritated and don't want to deal w/it anymore, I'm just ignoring it cause I don't want to stress out. She'll always be wicked and selfish. What comes around goes around... Stepson is really talking to me more now and enjoys his time with me. Hopefully biomom gets irritated when she finds out that her son actually likes me aside from what she's brainwashed him.

FlaminMama's picture

Submitted by FlaminMama on Sun, 06/04/2006 - 12:44pm

Well, I would love to but my husband's lawyer that it would cost us more because everytime she was in contempt we would have to have a record call the police, have it on the record and then go to court. Plus, he is worried what she would tell the kids. However I would love to do it, just to seee her squirm. What to do.....