I keep starting to join step mom forums and then stop myself- Firstly because part of me feels like if I start bitching about being a step mom, I will sink deeper into a pit of unhappiness and dwell on all the badness that comes along with having step kids. Secondly, It seems as if every other step mom in the world is having the same experiences as I, and I don't want to go over the same old shit everyone has already heard. My self-esteem gets in the way in a large way, because I have never wanted to burden anyone with my complaining.

I absolutely need to vent though, and to people who understand (my poor sister gets such an earful:)) So this is really a happy medium for me.

I've been married to my husband for 8 years. We have a 5.5 mo. old boy, 7 year old daughter, and his son, 12 and daughter, 13. Their mom lives in this suburb and the kids are with us about half of the week. God- I feel guilty even jumping in and starting to complain, even though it's how I feel most of the time. Okay, big breath. Here goes:

My skids are completely overscheduled. To the point where when we "have" them, mostly it's my husb. driving them around to and from practices or games or whatever else their mom can stuff into every bit of their free time. I never know who is doing what and when, and if I do know ahead of time, it is most certainly changed at the last minute. No sense of structure. I feel like all of my husband's free time is scheduled by bm as well, therefore.

Bm calls here al the time, either to talk to skids when they are here, or to talk to dh about skids- schedules, problems, etc. She never calls when she has the kids, and I feel like she's intruding into our lives even more than usual.

skids don't do a damn thing when they are here to help. They sit around watching t.v. or playing Wi or shooting bb guns at their wall (boy) or facebooking, texting on dh's phone, or doing homework while we are watching t.v. They never even so much as change a toilet paper roll. Their rooms are pathetic, they bring food, cups, plates, soda cans into their rooms and leave them there. I think dh is not able to get past the divorce guilt. Or else it doesn't cross his mind that kids should not do their homework in front of the t.v., pick up after themselves, help with dishes or ANYTHING around the house. I've chosen to detach, because I want to focus on my own kids, and I don't want the anxiety of being the only one to parent them here. I know he loves them sosososososo much- which is why we have them so fucking much.... but wow, what I would give for the every other weekend deal.

I feel resentful. I feel sad, frustrated, anxious, pissed off and helpless. I hate where we are living, and we just love in this suburb to be closer to them. I have not found one person here I have anything in common with in the 7 years we've lived here. I feel like our entire lives revolve around his kids and his ex wife. Ick.