About Dreamweavers blog and something Jsmom said
Made me wonder. Why is it that the BMs make such a mess of things and undermine us at every turn? How many of us are BMs as well as SMs and don't really have that problem with XH or his SO? My XH used to be such a shit, but DS is his own man. He loves his father, loves his mother, has no real issues with either. His dad used to badmouth me to him. I stayed out of that game, but we all get along pretty well after 8 years of that and our son is doing great. I'm so happy that XH has a GF (she sounds a little bi polar, but that's his problem and he is good enough not to let that affect DS.) I just can't imagine how this is supposed to help the kids. It's just weird.
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I am a SM and BM. I have
I am a SM and BM. I have always told my children to be nice to my ex's girlfriends and "do not treat them the way SD treats Mommy". There was one girlfriend he had that was just awful, they only took the kids 1/4 of the court ordered visitation but I never said a word to the kids about either of them. I simply went to the courthouse and filled out paperwork to adjust cs because of the lack of visitation (cs was low as he was supposed to have them 40% or more, which he didn't, but I was letting it go at 2 days/week until he stopped seeing them altogether). When his cs went up to 4 times the amount it had been, he left his girlfriend and started taking the kids again
Same here. I am a BM and my
Same here. I am a BM and my exH is remarried and there is ZERO drama on my end with my exH or our kids. That's why I feel I am settling dealing with a bunch of dysfunctional drama if I stay with my bf, as much as I love him and although he's an amazing person/man. I want the male equivalent of me.
I have always encouraged my kids to reach out to my xH's wife, esp. since I took a stab at being a stepmom. Although my kids only see their dad EOWE I know his wife has some skid issues with my kids and is largely doing her own thing. I think my kids are great but they're my kids and maybe she goes crazy with them as I have with SD, although on her end there is no crazy (literally) ex wife, emotionally troubled children, interfering MILs, or a 50/50 custody arrangement.
SM and BM here too. 20 years
SM and BM here too. 20 years of being a BM and 2 years of being a SM. It helps to be both actually if you are a normal and rational person. I can see many things from "both" sides of the fence.
No ExH as he passed away 3 years ago and no little kids were brought in this marriage either on my end. DH got lucky.
A "bitter" BM normally has not moved on somehow (sadly) and is just quite miserable inside. IMHO
BTW- everyone told me that I
BTW- everyone told me that I was insane for marrying a man with a young child, and at that time unknown to me, a bonkers ex-wife who would never cease until her dying day.
" OMG Butterfly! WHY are you doing that? Find a "guy" that has no baggage like you do!!!!" (friends)
As you can tell, I don't listen to people much...
SM & BM here too. I was
SM & BM here too. I was royally screwed by DS's father and could have been the perfect psycho BM to him (and his wife), however, I chose to [try to] focus on the good - my wonderful DS. He also never tried to see or contact DS at ALL - so there was no drama there to contend with. I was a true single mom, with no other parent to answer to and no CS to blow - ha!
I knew a couple that once a month or so would ask to take DS with them. They usually took him to Chucky Cheese or a Disney movie. I was grateful to have a little time to myself to either take a nap or a long bath but I never felt threatened or anything. I felt blessed that others recognized what a great kid DS was!
Same boat Sky, exactly. I
Same boat Sky, exactly.
I NEVER hardly got a break either with BD20. I sit here and watch BM dump her daughter on anyone. Wow. You know? And at 41 years old too? Grow up. gag gag gag gag "woe is me."
I nrever got C/S either and quickly "moved on" with BD in hand...