I've been really looking at the difference in parenting with my wife and I lately and its becoming more difficult for me. Just yesterday my bio son 8 and I were up, ready and ready to leave at 530 am when I noticed my nephew had not taken care of his clean cloths. Well guess who got woke up like he's in basic tranning and got an ass chewing for a half hour. I set a few standards and tasks for him to accomplish for the day. 

1. You will shower and brush your teeth.  You stink and I will not tolerate it.

2. You will chart your blood sugar every two hours and your corrective doses by hand in a note book.

3. You will take care of all of your clean laundry.  

4. You will give more than one word answers on you school work.  I will check. 

5. Do not eat a single thing in this house except for the lunch and breakfast I put out unless you blood sugars are dropping.  

Well guess what. The kid blew me way when I got home at 6. He did everything I asked. EVERYTHING.  Why is that.  Well 2 things. He dosnt want to sit in a cold truck under a blanket doing school work and I explained to him the things I do for him so its a trade off. Hes starting to make progress. 

On the other hand ss17 called me for a ride to work at 4 insted of 5. I begrudgingly did it mainly because it was cold and I was froze from working outside all day. I got to wifes house(we don't live together due to stepsons) and my other ss18 had just woke up at 330 pm and asked for a ride also. I then informed both of them I cannot give them rides anymore because it is costing me way to much money by leaving early and I cannot afford it.  I then looked at the stove and sink. ALL the dishes from the Sunday breakfast I made were still there and nothing was done for there mom. 

I called my wife and let her know I took them to work and she said  "I told them not to call you anymore because I gotta listen to you bitch about it".  I told her no, I'm not upset about that but I'm upset at there inability to help you or plan ahead for rides. Both have been working for long enough to have there licenses and a cheap car bit nope. Mommy didn't follow through on that. Kept letting them buy game systems and take out every day. She did agree that there lack of planning was getting old. To boot there was no less the 4 pizza boxes and two other take out bags by her trash can from the boys. I told her maybe what there spending on take out would pay for an uber for them. 

I'm coming to the sad and heartbreaking fact that nothing will ever change and I'm going to always be the asshole for having rules and standards. I cried last night thinking that this is probably the end of my marriage unless there is a miracle in how she sees things. 

I love this woman but I absolutely refuse to be a ring master in her circus anymore.  I think it might just be the fear of being alone thats holding me back. She is really a genuine sweet and very educated person. I just dont think I can put up with this anymore. I want the best for my stepsons because I know what they are capable of but I've learned to disengage. Well off to start my day. Its 5 am, getting bio son 8 up, making us lunches, showering and leaving by 545 to go to grandmas then im off to work. How is it my bio son 8 can get ready at 5am pretty much on his own but stepsons can't at 4pm lol.