Life spinning out of control
How can life be so complicated. How can leaving an unhappy loveless marriage in the past put me in a life with more turmoil. I may have found love now but why do I feel like my life is spinning out of control more than ever. I know I need help but what kind of help. Why do I put myself in a situation knowing in my heart I didn't want to be, like taking a role of a stepmom for two kids I know nothing about, moving to another city away from my own young adult kids, family, and leaving a well paid government job of many years. My parents in law refused to meet me and attend our wedding until he gets an anullment from his first marriage. All this just to be with the man I love. I remarried 2 yrs ago to the most loving, caring, supportive husband and I know I am lucky to have him. But in the end I am not any farther ahead with my life--I can't get a decent job now, I still don't want to be around my stepkids, I miss my own kids everyday, I miss my Mom, brothers, sisters and friends. In the end I am more lonely now than when I was in my first marriage. I no longer see a future of happiness and contentment.
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If i told you things WILL
If i told you things WILL get better, at the state your in you won't beleive me, but you will come to see it will be true.
It will get much easier for you as the answers to your happiness come to you. You will start to figure out one by one what it will take to make you happy again. Just go with it and really listen to your gut instinct...it never lies.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore
I've asked myself the same
I've asked myself the same thing. It's part of why I am not sure I can stay in the relationship I am in. Why would I put myself, my ex, and my kids through a divorce only to enter a marriage that is unhappy and stressful in a different way? It makes it seem like all the pain I've gone through in getting divorced would be for naught...
I am sorry you are so sad. Thinking of you.
Thank you everyone. My mom
Thank you everyone. My mom keeps telling me that things will get better but after two years it hasen't. All I'm doing is going with the motion of life. I know in time I won't be able to go on like this.
Well, my approach to life
Well, my approach to life is, for things to get better, you have to do something to make them get better.
I hope that doesn't come across as me accusing you of not trying. I don't mean that at all.
What I mean is, whenever I've gone through a time in my life when there were lots of problems and I felt trapped and like things would not get any better, I realized that the only way I could expect improvement was to take control. So, I made a list of all the problems. Looked at them. Especially looked at the ones that were causing the most trouble in my life. And I thought, "What can I do to make this better, if only a little bit?" So for 3-4 of the most pressing problems, I would find an action (or a lack of action) that would change things for the better. It made me feel empowered. And, it did change my life.
If you don't feel like you can do this on your own, then think of a good friend or family member who has a good head on her shoulders and a "can do" attitude to life, and have her help you think this through. Or, hire a life coach to talk to for a few sessions.
The most crushing thing about a situation in which you feel helpless is the sense of inertia that comes with it. Feeling like you can't do anything is the worst part of it. That, you can change.
BB
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
Took me 4 years before good
Took me 4 years before good things started happening to me and my life started to FINALLY fall into place.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore