He's not depressed...
...this is what happened this morning:
He asked me about my plans (something he never does.)
I said 'For today?'
He said 'For Easter?,' another surpise.
I said that I thought we had agreed not to make any decisions until Monday, when we would go back to counselling. I won't put the whole conversation on here but it came out that he has taken two days off to do some building work at OSDs house (this, has you may know, has been the whole bone of contention-that he hates me telling him what to do, ie take time off to spend with me, but is more than happy to take days off when OSD wants him to).
I didn't bite the bullet:
I reminded him that if we haven't moved forward by Monday then we get the house valued and start sorting out finances. I said to him that if Monday doesn't work out then it is the end and I am going to my daughter's for the rest of the holiday. I said that as he is the one who is breaking up the relationship then he is in charge of the valuation and the viewings. What do you bet that by the time I come back from DDs he will have done nothing?
Today I am going to arrange an appointment with a solictor to determine my rights under a financial settlement.
I've done now- time to face up to the reality that if we stay together I will not have the life I had when I came here and pretended to like his kids for his sake.
I need to get my life back before I waste any more of it on this weak and childish old man...
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Comments
As I've said before, there's
As I've said before, there's a reason why this man has so many failed marriages. Ugh.
One of the two major holidays of the Christian year is coming up, and he's taken time off work to help his daughter. And instead of discussing it with you beforehand, he just does it. Then, he asks you if you have plans for Easter. Why? To get your hopes up? Why bring it up at all??
I'm sorry Fairyo. You must be so hurt. But you handled it very well. He is making selfish choices. He is the one deciding to put you last. These actions have consequences, and he is the one who needs to handle the onerous tasks resulting from this.
This man is damaged goods, incapable of holding up his emotional end of a healthy relationship. And yet, he continues to seek out women to partner with. There should be a warning label tattooed on his forehead.
I hope you make some great plans to be with people you enjoy on Easter. F that twisted old psychopath.
It's horrible..
I can't bear to be in the same space now- I don't think there is any point in going to counselling. I just want to get away from him. Now he wants to go shopping- what for? What really is the point? I have the names of some solicitors and will ring them on Monday- I need to protect my assets now... meanwhile I'mfinding somewhere else to go in the interim.
I'm sorry it's come to this,
I'm sorry it's come to this, fairyo, but it's good that you feel clear in your mind about what you want now. Men can be peculiar. exH spent years abusing me emotionally, then when I told him I was leaving, all of a sudden, he's wanting me to go to counselling and phoning my brother asking him to persuade me to change my mind! I said yes, I'll go to counselling (to talk about the split) if you arrange it. Of course he never did, and I duly left him.
I've left-staying with a
I've left-staying with a friend to get my head sorted- number one task: ring and get a solicitor's appointment in the morning.
He's an idiot, Fairyo. You
He's an idiot, Fairyo. You are very loveable. I'm glad you are getting rid of his miserable arse.
Thank-you Ispo- I am very
Thank-you Ispo- I am very loveable, people are falling over themselves to look after me and cannot believe how shitty he has been.
He is truly an idiot and he can now spend all the time he wants with his idiot children. I am free of all that crap. The next few months will be tough but I know how to look after myself and I know that I have my brilliant family and priceless friends to keep me going. And I am moving back home- it doesn't matter how small or humble my new place will be- I will be back where I belong and it will be wonderful. And I will still have all you lovely people on Steptalk reminding me of why I did what I'm doing!