Pee pee
Yesterday, despite not being able to "find" her goddamn diapers, 9 year old Derp managed not to pee the bed. Victory! (Her diapers where in fucking plain sight.)
But then she woke up and pissed herself by noon. Wide awake. Playing her iPad. Gee, maybe we should take away the iPad. I don't know. Maybe it's too much of a distraction.
My step son, who is tolerable, could smell the urine. He questioned her. She did as she always does. Deny deny deny.
I started sniffing around her things. Nobody could tell where the pee smell was coming from. It wasn't until her dad got home that I found out she was WEARING the piss soaked shorts. What kind of feral child just sits in her own piss and doesn't change clothes?
I left the house. Partner called her and managed to get her to put whatever had urine on it in the laundry room. He assured me that it would get washed when he got home.
I wasn't crazy about waiting to wash everything, but I also sure as hell wasn't going to clean up the mess myself so I was between a rock and a hard place.
He got home from work and sat down on the couch and I was like "Are you going to do the laundry?" He said something about there being clothes in the dryer and the washer so I removed the clothes from the dryer and I put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and then I said THE WASHER IS READY FOR YOU TO USE IT!!!
So he had her gather up all of her other clothes and started a load. I have told him a million times: You need to do a sniff test before you put her stuff in the dryer. Anything but has touched her "nether regions" is going to be incredibly... pungent. Of course he did not do a sniff test. He just threw all of that shit in the dryer so of course a lot of it came out stinking. So I told him sweetly again: Dear, anything that touches your daughter's crotch needs to undergo a sniff test. You cannot just put it in the dryer. it probably needs a double rinse or a second washing and very very hot water.
I'm SO sure he'll remember from now on.
The kicker? The shorts that she initially pissed we're still sitting in a plastic grocery bag on the laundry room floor. They never got put in the washer at all.
I saw them and I started yelling and losing my shit and then I just counted to ten and excused myself. I went to draw myself a bath.
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Comments
I know others have asked you
I know others have asked you this, but have you started planning an exit from this relationship?
From what I can remember, he’s living in your house. Not only that, but he’s allowing his feral child to smear sh*t all over your bathroom & sit in her own piss soaked clothes, then needs to be reminded to clean it up... which to me says he doesn’t really have an issue with what’s happening. There’s something MAJORLY wrong with that.
Why did he need you to move laundry from the washer to the dryer before he could put her piss soaked clothes in there? Why did he even need to be reminded to wash these piss soaked clothes? There’s something wrong with this guy, I can’t think of a single person I know who’d be ok with having someone covered in urine sitting around the house. Though maybe because it’s actually YOUR house this kid is destroying, he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t pay bills there right?
He needs to start paying, he’s got no skin in the game & it doesn’t hurt him when his kid destroys your house. Lately you’ve just started leaving, which actually makes things easier for him.. I get why you’re leaving, but you shouldn’t have to leave your own house to get away from what’s happening. HE should leave. HE needs to be the one feeling pain of some kind, not you. I don’t care if he’s penniless, that’s not your problem. His kid is disgusting, but frankly so is he because he seems to simply allow it.
This
This
WHY, are you babysitting his kids
If he is not home the,SK are with BM or he getts a babysitter to take care of them. More like a health care person.
SK are not your responsibility, especially one who pee and shit themselves. You have to put your foot down, he goes out his kids go with him
I'm really trying
I'm really trying to figure out a way out. I know it should be easier than it feels.
It's 2:00 am and I just keep on thinking that I deserve more than this.
I don't know why this is so hard.
This relationship is killing my soul lately.
It’s almost never as easy to
It’s almost never as easy to leave as you think it should be, emotions make everything a lot more complicated than it otherwise would be.
You absolutely DO deserve more than this. I guarantee, once you find yourself on the other side of this relationship you’re going to feel a world of relief. As much as you love this man, he seems to be adding nothing but stress into your life.
I hope for your sake you find your way out, I find it doubtful this will change.
Fear is what keeps people
Fear is what keeps people stuck, that's it alone - fear. Work on whatever your fear is and you will figure out a way out.
Sometimes things are harder
Sometimes things are harder than they seem, sometimes we make them harder than they really are.
RUNNNN!!
short of burning all her clothes!!!
It's hard. Very very very
It's hard. Very very very hard to leave someone you love because of their children. It took me about 3 tries before leaving for good. A couple of weeks before 6 months on and all the love is gone, I only realised that friday and it's a great feeling. All that's left is anger at all the time wasted.
If you left now by Christmas you will be in a much better place. Actually this time next week you'd be in a much better place because the relief is overwhelming.
It's hard but so so worth it when you're so unhappy. Sometimes love isn't enough, I pray you see that soon and leave this sh*t show behind. We've all got you, we'll help you get through it
Thank you.
Thank you, I'm out
I wouldnt share a wash
I wouldnt share a wash machine with the crotchety smelling clothes. Let DH know where the nearest laundromat is or throw the clothes away
I've told him all her clothes
I've told him all her clothes have to go in their own hot water wash. He cannot contaminate other loads.
Today I saw that she left pants on my laundry room floor with visible shit marks.
I made him make her rinse them.
I'm about to start taking to her myself. And it ain't gonna be sweet. I'm gonna shame the fuck out if her. Part of the problem is he doesn't want her to be traumatized.
Maybe she can't control if she leaks shit. But she can damn well control whether she leaves that nastiness on my laundry room floor for me to find.
I'm gonna read that Derp the riot act until she starts acting her age.
Yesterday
So yesterday as I was leaving, my daughter mentioned to me that the basement stunk again. I called partner and sweetly asked him to check it out. When I came home I could see the bedding was in the washer. For the second time in the four day weekend, Derp pissed herself wide awake while sitting on her bed playing her tablet.
I told partner, in Derp's presence, that my daughter told me a frenemy of hers told the whole sixth grade class that her house stinks. (When the house stinks it's because of Derp. She pisses herself, refuses to shower, doesn't wipe well, etc.)
Partner LOST it with Derp. She was minutes away from being picked up by her mother. He full on yelled at her over the stress she's causing.
After she left I told partner that this revelation was the last straw. I won't have my daughter face ridicule over how my house smells.
The kids are no longer welcome at my house during his weekends. He can stay with them at his mother's.
I'm turning the room his son uses four times a month back into my sewing room.
I don't know what would cause a child to piss herself and sit in it, but it's not my problem and I can't fix it.
I'm done.
Not my kids. Not my problem.
I started to wonder why I haven't seen more adult diapers lying around and I pulled back her bed. There were three between the bed and the wall.
She's gone.