I am so annoyed. DH has just left our bed and gone downstairs to sleep in a separate bed from me. Why? well, lets rewind a bit...

Yesterday and today, he has been in the MOST god awful mood. He is basically picking at everything I do, say, you name it Im the bad one and I have been very patient I believe. I have been busy painting and doing other DIY things whilst he has been lying in bed watching you tube, sitting in front of the tv, having a bath and only doing something when it gets to around 3pm. Why? I believe because he is dodging doing his business accounting which was due in April 1st. He doesnt want to do it so is avoiding it and has a million other things to do which he puts off and off until he suddenly HAS to do something about it. Of course Im sympathetic that he goes away every other week and works such long hours, I let him sleep in when he gets back but this weekend (he said friday) it was time to get the accounting done, get some DIY done and why dont I do some. So I have been, whilst looking after our 2 1/2 year old daughter. Yes, what fun.

So by now, after enduring it all day yesterday and most of today till 3pm, Ive had IT. I am over being patient, especially as our daughter has been trying my patience to the brink today with pooing in her knickers and trousers, then peeing in a pair of trousers, then painting white where I had painted brown and then to finish, getting out of bed, getting dressed and coming downstairs and refusing to go to bed. Great.

But to rewind to our daughters bedtime. I came upstairs with her whilst he sat and talked to SS9, laughing etc having a good old time. I call him when Im done brushing teeth etc. He comes up, sits on her bed, she wants him to read a story from a book where it has words to learn, so there is no story but there are pictures, so he tries to get her to repeat a word but she wants him to read so he said after 1 minute max of being in the room, "alright goodnight" I said "your leaving?" "yes, she doesnt want me to read that" "yes she does, she wants you to make a story from the pictures" I then proceeded to show him and after 5 seconds he walks out the door. He then goes down to SS9's room and stays with him for at least 30 minutes - "she doesnt talk" well yes she does actually. This is the same thing every night, a quick good night, 5 minutes max and he is gone. He is away half of the time so I would think bedtimes when he IS here should be done with him alone and he reads her a story and spends 15 mins. 30 mins is way too long in my book when they have ample time before bed to talk.

So fast forward to he comes out of SS9's room. I tell him again that he should cherish the time with hannah and read her a story instead of spending 2 minutes with her and then 30 mins at least with ss9. "Oh I have to do everything, do the bedtime thing with 2 kids" blah de blah. Then he goes to the shop at 9pm to get some bread so the poor little mite doesnt have to suffer the indignity of having crusts for his sandwiches tomorrow (they are good crusts!!!). Then he comes back, more bitchiness for no good reason then I say, "Im tired of arguing with you, you have been in an awful mood for the last 2 days, so if you want to have a nice conversation then fine, if not then lets go the silent route because Im not doing this anymore" I warned him then. He eventually chose the nice route and we were on our way to bed, but of course, he just HAD to go into SS9's room. I said, come on, hurry up but 15 minutes later he comes up. Hes all happy - after I have heard them laughing up a good storm down there. Im angry because me and our daughter get shit the last two days mostly and ss9 gets jokes and laughter. He turns around and blames it on me, "perhaps you should ask yourself why you dont get the laughs". I said dont you DARE turn this into it being MY fault!!!!!!! I was outraged. Not only have I been patient, looking after our daughter, doing DIY and suffering his shit, I get blamed for it. just great. I said your the one thats been in a shitter of a mood the last two days and have taken it out on me and our daughter - and just for the record, he laughs with everyone else (the show face) and when he is actually tired or grumpy whilst putting on this happy face, I get the grumpy, stressed, tired DH. I cant believe he blamed it on me.

And then I say, Im pissed because you spent 2 mins with our daughter and so much time with Ss9. Its unfair. Especially as when she got up again she was asking for him but he was at the shops. He is constantly giving me lectures about things that are bad for me until I stop doing them and tonight he started about facebook. He wanted to watch a film which is on my computer. We havent watched it now for several nights because of one thing or another. I said its too late 22.15 and its 2 hours long and you have to be up at 7am and Im not done doing what I need to do on facebook. He then threw his toys out of the pram and said fine, its bedtime, turn the lights off, so I did. He then said, and your computer! I said no, "you had yours on the other night as I was going to sleep watching the boxing". "No, your controlling me whether or not I watch the film" "Are you kidding? you give me a lecture or make some sort of snide comment to stop me doing things - smoking, taking painkillers, and other non harmful things, you have told me that Im on facebook too much and then when I come on at bedtime you have a problem with it, make up your fucking mind!!" "oh you need to look at yourself, your controlling me" IS he for REAL?????

So he then said fuck this, Im sleeping downstairs, I said where? he said there are mattresses under the stairs. Wouldnt surprise me if he slept with precious ss9 - ss9 actually would he is such a baby and nearly 10 years old. I hate these weeks. And I hate it when he is away. I just hate everything right now. He had to come back upstairs though because there are no duvets or pillows lying around downstairs so he had to ask me. Lame.

I hate my ss9 and ss12. So sick of them stealing my energy from him - as in, he uses up all his happy energy with them and I get whats left. I cant wait for the day when he doesnt have to travel up north anymore - if only I could get a fucking job!!!!!!!!! I need to by the summer holidays or Im pissing off to England to live with any of my family rather than be here with ss's all 2 months of the sodding holidays. fuck that.