I truly don't understand it.

Mothers are constantly shamed if they choose to stay at home - why can't you get a job, why aren't you supporting your family?Then working mothers are shamed as well - You never see your children, who is taking care of things at home? It's such a lose-lose situation. When I wasn't working and taking care of my son full time, people were constantly pushing me to get a job. As soon as I started working full time, those same people were scolding me for not spending enough time with him. It's such a catch-22.

And then the shaming from Mothers to other Mothers - the criticizing and critiquing and "you're doing it wrong" and "Well, I do it this way." You're shamed if you choose to breast feed, shamed if you choose to bottle feed. You're shamed if you punish your children, shamed if you choose not to. It's like no matter what we do as mothers, it is never good enough. We can't win. It seems so counter-productive. We should be bonding and banding together, building each other up, but the people that have torn me down the most as a parent are other parents. Is there even a true "safe space" anymore where a parent can just vent about how hard parenting can be without having other parents swoop in and shame them mercilessly? I have been told that I have no right to complain, I should consider myself blessed to be a parent, "you knew what you were signing up for," and all sorts of other hurtful and unncessary statements. Parenting is HARD. Step-parenting is HARD. It's a daily struggle.

What makes it worse is that the ones that have shamed me the most have been mothers in my own family. Just because YOU parented a certain way doesn't mean I agree with it. Maybe I have looked at the way I was raised and chosen a different path, and that is perfectly acceptable. I may not be perfect, but I am trying my best and that should be enough.