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Husband and $

Elle36's picture

For once this has nothing to do with SS or BM. It deals with husband. Both my husband and I have decent jobs. I am a school teacher so I get paid on the first of the month. The majority of our bills come out the first of the month so my check is usually gone but the 5th of every month. Husband get paid weekly. Since it is now the middle of the month I have just informed him that all that the rest of the month's bills are paid except his truck payment and we have only a certain amount in checking for the rest of the month.

My husband works construction and just finished up a job on Monday and has no idea when he will start the next job. Meaning no checks coming in until Sept 1st when I get paid next month. Husband just informed me that he is going to drive his little brother three hours away tomorrow to get him signed up and papers turned in for his brother to join the union. I asked husband if younger brother is going to pay for the gas/food etc. Which he informed me younger brother has no money. Husband just left to register SS for school. Again reminded him how much cash we have right now. Told husband we do not have extra cash to take younger brother tomorrow. (I will agree that I when husband wanted to take younger brother I agreed until I did the banking last night and realized we are well over budget this month) Which I just got a smart ass comment about "Yes you have told me how much we have already"

I sometimes feel my husband is too embarrassed to let anyone know we can't afford something right at the moment. He would never degrade himself and let his younger brother or anyone else who are friends or family know that we do not have the money. I know he likes people to think we are better off than we are. AND to make matters worse I am due with our first and probably only child within 2 weeks.

How do I tell my husband no....you cannot go tomorrow because we have only so much cash for the rest of the month. Plus we will have to take a car payment out of savings. (not like I am out blowing money.....I'm home fat, miserable, and very pregnant)

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

You have savings?! I wish I did. We've been just barely making it from one paycheck to the next for so long that I can barely remember what it was like when I actually had money! LOL Fortunately, times are a' changing for our family at long last, with a promotion being offered to my husband last week and now a job interview in another state at the end of the month... we're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, at long last. Hopefully, that'll ease some of the strain.

Maybe you could give him some options to choose from, like he can have fifty bucks for the trip, but it means he's got to have PB&J for supper until payday. Better yet, manufacture a few aches and pains, then tell him that being so pregnant, you're worried about going into labor without him close by. He's got the perfect built-in excuse... "Gee, brother, I'm sorry, but Elle said she thinks the baby may have dropped and with her ready to pop at any minute, I really don't think it's a good idea for me to be so far from home. Let's do it after the baby gets here." What better excuse can there be than that?!

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

Elle36's picture

Believe me since I wrote this blog we seriously got into it. Again me pointing out finances BUT it is TOO IMPORTANT that he get his brother up to Chicago and there is absolutley nothing I can say. I can't even play the pregnancy card since the baby is still 2 weeks away. Anf if my water does break she isn't coming right out. He will still have time to drive home. (That was a quote)

Elle36's picture

By the way the savings was mine from the sale of my house when we got married. I made 65K (house was built for me by my Dad and his contractor friends) I put 40K down on his house to match his equity (He built his house so he never actually had the cash in it just what the house was worth after he finished) I have $4500 left. And if my parents knew that in 18 months I have spent over 15K they would come pack my bags and drag my ass back home with them. I can probably account for maybe 8K worth of spending. (furniture and Disney trip)

everythinghappens4areason's picture

I had to laugh! I have used this with my hubby and he looked at me like I was crazy!!! Since he never does any of the financials in our house, he has no idea. So I wrote everything on the calendar and how much we had. He got the drift really quickly when he saw I was not joking. Keep in mind though, that as soon as this month is over you will have to explain it all over again next month...they NEVER retain the info!!

Corie

Elle36's picture

He did inform me that he could make an easy $300 if I would allow him to go pour a concrete sidewalk for his EX but I won't allow it. I just wish men were willing to sacrifice things when another financial situation arises. I have had to give up my fake nails, beauty shop hair dye jobs, and my weekly trips to Old Navy and the mall knowing that we need to save and buy for a baby or for me being off work once this baby is born. Funny how men aren't willing to budget. If I refuse dinners and just serve the PB&J he would just stop and pick up fast food.

Anne 8102's picture

The All-American Staple. Honestly, as many as I ate as a kid, I could still live off them today. But not with jelly... strawberry jam.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

goingcrazy's picture

Does he not realize that ANYTHING could happen at this point? Two weeks means any moment. Many many many a baby has come 2-3 weeks early. And yes, you may labor for hours upon hours after your water breaks. But I am sure that if you looked a little, you could find testimonies from women who thought the same thing and.... wow.... there is baby right after water broke! I mean, does DH have no brain cells whatsoever????? Forget the whole finances issue (we'll come back to that) He is taking the chance of missing the birth of his child for a road trip with his brother? UGH> That pisses me off. Men are clueless.

I am guessing that as far as the finances go, he is probably thinking that you guys have a little in savings and the few dollars he would spend for gas and food is nothing. I have found that this is the male mentality. They don't have the brain capacity to rationalize and look into the future.

You could always tie him up in his sleep so that he is not able to move that day Smile or... you could disconnect the starter on his car Wink or better yet, just knock him silly and maybe when he comes to he will have developed some sense (ha.. like that would happen) Blum 3 Oh well, wishful thinking. Regardless of what happens, please try to keep yourself calm for that precious baby you have. Remember that the more u stress, the sooner you will have that little bundle here!

OldTimer's picture

hehehee... get those fights going... than wham... baby time! LMAO... would solve all your problems, huh?

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Catch22's picture

We don't have that in OZ!! I've heard its good though!! DH does put jam with Peanut Butter, I guess that's the same. Thx

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

Krissy's picture

Is the truck lease in his name? If it is, then let him bleed the account dry on his trip and see what happens when he misses a payment.

I also wanted to comment on the cement pouring job--I would just take it. Honestly, if it's going to help out, and since you've got a baby coming and you need the money, why not? Who cares what the ex thinks? Everyone can use a little extra....

Also wanted to comment that I totally know about blowing through savings. Around Halloween last year I had about $12K in savings and by January $7K was GONE. I bought all of the clothes for Fall for former ss and my DD, and really went overboard on Christmas shopping. I also paid the lawyer three times and just like that, seven grand is GONE. I paid off a big cc bill with the rest. A few months later I got $15K in back support which I blew through in paying off the rest of my debt. So, it's nice to be totally debt free now, but when I think that I have spent close to $30K in less than a year, I want to vomit.