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doormatt's picture

Submitted by doormatt on Thu, 09/27/2012 - 11:31am

So DH can sleep in the evenings while im at work and be dead to the world when i come home but let it be my day off and low and behold he cant sleep...gets up on computer and sleeps in recliner in other room...this morning i said something about it and he blows up...yelling, cussing and slamming doors...i hear how unbelievable it was for me to ask why he cant seem to sleep with me...he acts all down in the dumps when he is with me...i asked him if he would be happier somewhere else or with someone else...he said no he was happy here with me...funny...he doesn't act that way..and i have to wonder if he isnt trying to drive me away so he can play victim with SD and his family....

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DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 09/27/2012 - 12:11pm

I've read a couple of your other posts and I think that if your DH is not already cheating that he will be very soon. I also think he is doing exactly what you think he is doing... trying to make YOUR life miserable by denying you conversation, affection, etc. so that maybe, just maybe YOU will leave and then he can play the victim and go about his merry way. This is exactly what my ExH did.

Apparently my ex had been cheating for over a year... I was clueless.. he came home every night, I never had ANY suspicions until I started getting annoymous phone calls and letters telling me what he was up to. Even after being confronted with those, he STILL wouldn't admit anything, he'd look me straight in the eye and lie and tell me he wasn't cheating, and he was happy and fine. This went on for about 7 months before I finally busted him and then kicked his ass out. I asked him afterwards if that was his plan... to (without being a jerk)just kind of fade himself out of the marraige, so that I felt lonely, sad, bored whatever and would leave him and then he could come out smelling like roses. He swore that was not his intention but whatever....couldn't believe a word he said after all of that! In the end he ended up looking like the big fat stupid dick that he was.

So sorry you are going through this... I can say that was honestly the worst couple years of my life.. the not knowing, the sadness, loneliness, wondering if things were MY fault, etc. feel free to PM me any time you want to chat or vent... that was one of my biggest problems is I DIDN'T talk to anyone about what was happening and evenutally it all imploded on me.

lawyergirl06's picture

Submitted by lawyergirl06 on Thu, 09/27/2012 - 1:04pm

My ex did the same thing. Told me how depressed he was but never seemed to have a problem enjoying the company of others. I would get emails and phone calls from girls telling me I should reign him in and every time it happened I would confront him and he would swear nothing was going on. It took me a long time (after he cheated the first time) to realize that even if he wasn't doing the deed (didn't matter because we weren't) he was thinking about it and that was enough. He would make me feel like it was my fault he was miserable and then turn it around on me if I tried to walk away. It took a year and a half before I finally realized I was being a fool for believing him. I hope that isn't the case with you, but remember this, life is too short to be this miserable.