Hello, I'm new here...I don't know where to start. To give you some background, my skids are actually my husband's nieces that he adopted as babies, since their BM (his sister) fried her brain due to an 18 year crack cocaine habit. She is like a 2nd grader, but I guess the one good thing is that I don't have to deal with an ex. Anyways, at the beginning of our relationship I really admired him for doing that, and it was one of the reasons why I knew he was a good man. I still believe that deep down he is a good man. We've been together nine years, married eight. When we got married the girls were six, seven, and nine.

The oldest one just turned 18, and actually she is the least of my worries at the moment, as she is the most normal one and the easiest to talk to, although she did go through a period of being a huge drama queen. She's come a long way over the last year, as far as maturity goes. The younger two, ages 15 and 16, are monsters and my husband just makes excuses for them. They talk to him like he's retarded and they act like complete stuck-up bitches unless they need money or want something. The youngest one has started a pattern of behavior which includes drinking, lying, and overtly defying my husband. I have a health condition which limits my physical capabilites and I usually spend time in the hospital each year due to respiratory infections. On a normal basis I feel pretty good although my energy level is quite low, yet the youngest is completely irresponsible, never lifting a finger to help around the house. Both of them just mope around feeling sorry for themselves and trying to come up with reasons to hate everybody around them. If I ever say anything to my husband even the least bit negative about them it causes a huge fight, I'm always wrong, and he says the meanest things to me. He calls them HIS girls even though I know he wants me to be their mom and thinks of me as their mom. He makes me feel guilty for not being a bigger part of their lives even though, believe me, ALL of the effort to reach out to these girls comes from me and they act like I'm bothering them when I try to talk to them. I have tried and tried over the years to love them like they are my own, but as the years go by it gets harder and harder, and I have to admit, I just DON'T. They've always been very spoiled by my MIL, but I believed that as the girls got older that would subside...it hasn't. It's only gotten worse and they treat her as bad as they treat my husband. He and I get along pretty well as long as we aren't talking about them, and I have for the most part learned to keep my mouth shut because it is pointless to speak up, but it leaves me frustrated and resentful.

I was brought up in a strict home (my father was a policeman), and I'm extremely grateful that my parents cared enough about my siblings and me to set boundaries and enforce rules, and they were very consistent. There has been little to no discipline for these girls and I believe that is the root of the problem. They don't pull a lot of crap with me because I don't put up with it, but they know who they can manipulate and my husband and his mother are the top two on the list. Part of me thinks that they are just teenagers who have a lot of growing up to do, but another part thinks that they will just be the same or worse as adults. Most days I wish I had my life back and I truly feel like I have wasted the last 9 years. If I had my life to live over again, the one thing I would undo is my marriage. I do love my husband but when we fight I am so ready to file for divorce and just be done with it.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent, I feel better...all I need is a little support and I'm glad I found a good place for it.