Well hopefully you aren't having children because other people want you to. Is grandma in advanced age and a bit confused? Otherwise it's weird she wants you to have kids and your SO isn't even divorced! And you've met only last summer. And you aren't married, well you can't be even if you wanted to!

is she just meddling type? I'd never tell my own DD when she should have kids, unless maybe if ste asked what I think about it, and we are very close.

I'd not worry about what other people, even if family, want you to do.

There are just some family members who are like that. I've been getting similar questions since I was 19. It always confused relatives when I did something in my life that didn't lead to kids, like switching jobs or renting a one-bedroom apartment. Even now, even is patiently waiting for me to get pregnant.

It is what it is. Nothing to put extra special thought into. You can always shut down the conversation and move on to another topic. This won't be the last time you are questioned.

Sounds to me like you have it all figured out and a well laid out plan. By the time me and DH met, I decided I didn't want children. When DH and I knew we were headed for marriage, we had a heart to heart about having children. He said he was good with the two he had. I still hadn't changed my mind, so we were good.

A lot of friends and family can't understand why we aren't having children. Age for us also plays a huge factor in our decision. I always get the, "well celebrities have children well into their 40's all the time." Sorry I don't base my life decisions on what celebrities do.

You have to do what is best for you and your SO.

Does Grandma have any other great grandchildren or are you the last hope for her dream to continue the family gene pool?

My response would be "Grandma, we want to have our own child when we can provide a loving stable home. Right now is not the best time. There are other things that need to be done first. Like finalizing SOs divorce etc. And when that magic time comes you will be the first to know."

You know Grandma already knows all that. She's was politely trying to push the idea that you aren't getting younger and she doesn't want to see you perhaps run out of time for a child of your own while you're busy taking care or and trying to make things ok for someone else's kids.

Of course, Grandma has no choice but to respect your decision to wait and you're correct in telling GMa 'thanks, GMa, but I've got this' . She cares about you and you , of course, will be her first priority in consideration when it comes to your life with your SO and his kids. That's normal. Don't fault her. Thank her for her concern, her effort of trying to give advise and support and then wave 'bye' as she flies back to wherever she lives. LOL.

She really didn't say anything that you've not likely already read around here or even already been gently warned to be careful of here yourself. One can't wrap themselves so tightly up into skids and skids needs that they forget about one's own needs and wants.

GMa didn't give you bad advice, she just gave you unwanted advice at this time.

My own mother is beginning to drive my older children a bit nuts with my mother's worrying and fretting over things. My mother is in her 80's, been through some pretty close call medical issues the last few years and she knows she isn't going to live forever. So she is starting to want to 'fix' everything for her loved ones before she goes. Yeah, she's being a busybody. But it's not in a mean uncaring way. It's more like when a mother is young and starting out with her first children. Where the mother tries to prepare for her first children, have everything ready, prepare a home for them blah blah...while now it's in reverse. My mother is trying to settle everything before her time is done. KWIM?

Take it for what it is, unsolicited but well meaning advice. Give GMa a hug and thank her for her words of wisdom and then wave good-bye as she returns home and go about your life.

You're not in a place in your relationship with SO to have a child. You're not in a place where you, yourself , feel you're ready for a child financially. You're feeling confident in your own ability to make your own decisions and it will either work for you or in the end it won't. But you're an adult making her own decisions and that's ok. That's what adults do. They make their own decisions and live with the results.

"You're right, Bubbe, a baby does sound wonderful! Hey , did you see that new restaurant we have up the street? Let's go there for lunch, I am dying for some girl time with you. I miss you so much. How is your friend/neighbor/coworker??"

No need to drive yourself crazy arguing about it or share personal financI'll details. Agree and distract. She feels like her opinion has been recognized and youarent frustrated because she's single minded about it.

That's sweet grandma wants you to have your own but at the least wait till he is divorced.

Grandma was married four times? Ouch. How old is grandma? Is she a widow? I can't imagine getting divorced 4 times. I actually know the sweetest elderly lady who is a widow three times. One husband she was married for like 20 years and raised kids, he died of cancer. Second husband she only was married to few years and he had a heart attack. And third husband recently died of just old age. Isn't it something? Bad luck really.

WHy try and explain your personal life to her? It really has nothing to do with her if you want children or not,

You simply could've said - Oh Gran we are trying.... the end