In August I told my Husband that I was struggling with the relationship with my stepson. I told him that I wasn't sure if I could continue on with how it was going. My stepson and I don't hug very often or give goodnight kisses. I don't want to pressure him into hugging me or telling me that he loves me when I'm not sure if he does. I also feel that my ss tries to manipulate me, dh, and bm. He tells lies about me to his bm and that all blows up into a huge mess. Her and her family slander me on the internet and to anyone who is willing to listen. My husband and I talked about the situation and how it is best that my ss and I work on our relationship because I didn't want to leave my husband and he didn't want to send the ss to live with his bm. My husband has Sole Legal and Physical custody of my ss. I could go into details about what I think of her, but that would take up too much time and it doesn't really matter anyway. I'll just say that her parenting skills are lacking and her family don't make the right choices in life. I thought my husband and I had moved past the issue with my ss and I. He just told me today that he is thinking of sending my ss back to live with his mother. My ss is so excited to see his bm when she comes and gets him or when she calls...he thinks that if he sends him to live with her that he won't want to live there because it won't be all fun and games like it is now when he sees her. She of course wants to be the "fun" parent who gives him everything, buys him whatever he wants, and takes him fun places every time she has him. (I think she just tells him those things then never actually does them.) I am in complete disagreement with him. I think that if my ss lives with bm his life in on a track that will lead him straight to jail and into drugs at an early age. My husband agrees with this, but he wants my ss to be happy. He knows that he's happy there and wonders if it's the best thing for my ss to live with his bm just because she is his bm. I also reminded him about how we would never get any informtaion about school activities/sports. She can't afford to come get him now or even pay 10 a week for lunch money...how will she support him if he lives there full time??? I can understand wanting to make my ss happy by letting him live with his mother, but is it the best thing? He has discipline here, structure, a routine, and we have fun too. I worry about my ss picking up really bad habits and keeping them if he lives with her all the time. He already picks them up and does inappropriate things at school. If he picks them up every other weekend then what would happen if he was there all the time?? I do take responsibility for some of his mistakes, but when a child does something or says something at school that you know he hasn't seen or heard from your household what are you supposed to think?

I guess I'm just confused about my husband even considering to let my ss live with his mother when he knows what will happen in the long run. My mother-in-law thinks he should live with bm too now. She is the one who told us that we should fight for custody in the first place. I'm not happy about that one! She also talks to bm often I believe.

Has anyone else been in a situation where you thought the child would be better off with the other parent?