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Chauffeuring SD around town

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 12:38pm

SD11 has made some friends at school. She is constantly asking DH now "can I go here, can you pick up my friend, etc" DH has already told SD that he will not drop everything he is doing to accomodate. But if SD can make plans in advance with her friends, he is okay with it. 

Well that other day SD asked DH if she could go hang out with a friend. He asked if an adult was going to be there the whole time (at a shopping center). Of course SD lied and said yes... when in fact the other adult dropped off and then left. DH goes to picks up SD and her and the friends are unsupervised, riding around in Home Depot shopping carts on a sidewalk. 

DH was pissed. 1. He was lied to 2. SD was acting a fool. 

I am SO glad I have disengaged from this mess! It's always an argument and lies of making plans with friends. Anyone else refuse to chauffeur SKs around??

Comments

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 1:28pm

We used to get stuck doing this and BM has a very laissez faire attitude toward plans. SKids were allowed to go wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted, with minimal notice given. They were also allowed to determine how long they would be wherever, even if the time they chose was totally inconvenient. DH has a habit of going along with this...which has led to some arguments between us, because I'm not changing my plans to accommodate a kid's non-formal, completely unnecessary plans. At least now, Skids have some friends who can drive (they can't for another few months), so we don't have to drive them anymore. I also noticed that none of the other parents drove and DH would often end up shuttling their friends around or picking SKid up at a friend's house when he was supposed to be staying there all weekend. 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 1:39pm

who the heck lets 11 yo kids hang out by themselves at a shopping center?  I mean.. I get that she lied to your DH.. but at 11, I think you have to do a "trust but verify" call to the other adult to make sure that they will be monitoring these kids.  

Clearly an 11 yo doesn't have good judgement and I can't see a public venue alone is appropriate.  I think from now on your DH needs to either insist hanging out happens at a home with adult present.. or he actually confirms with the other adult if it is going to be out in public... may embarass his poopsie.. but oh well.. proved you needed closer supervision kid.

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 1:44pm

Totally agree. 

However, seems like DH is learning the hard way that his former little princess is a manipulative liar. I don't even bother making those suggestions any more (ex. hey you should check with the other parent!) *eyeroll* DH can figure it out

 

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 2:04pm

So she got caught stealing credit cards a month ago and now she's being allowed to go to the mall alone.

Dafuk.

 

Kaylee's picture

Submitted by Kaylee on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 4:08pm

Nope, I wouldn't run his kids around. Not my job.

What used to REALLY ANNOY me was when ex would drive his Princess anywhere she demanded, even though she had a car (bought by Daddy) and a licence.

Pathetic.

Kaylee's picture

Submitted by Kaylee on Wed, 02/23/2022 - 4:41pm

Oh, she used to claim to be too "anxious" to drive anywhere. I didn't buy that tosh! 

She wasn't too anxious to parade around at the gym in full make up with skin tight clothes, or too anxious to go out drinking in bars till 4am.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 02/24/2022 - 9:52am

Once it became clear that I had no say in driving around YSD I stopped. And made DH get his own car. I still take in YSD to her bus stop/pick up once a week or so but that's ok because it's not out of my way nor does it take my time. DH has been warned that if I have no say at any point my help ends.

He still allows her to determine his schedule though. The last time she was here he had no idea if she was coming. She's supposed to text him (from what I understand) to confirm her plans and she didn't. So he drove to pick her up not knowing if she'd be there. Not my issue. No idea if he told her she must let him know (he has to stop working early those days). But likely he didn't say anything. I stay out of it.