Well after my post ranting about being unhappy I finally had the talk with my husband yesterday. I told him I wanted a divorce because I was making us both miserable. He wasn't happy about it of course but didn't show too much. Then he got really upset and sad... I laid with him and told him that I was sorry. But I knew that wasn't good enough.

12:30 last night I went upstairs and fell asleep. I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep because I felt like I had a ton of bricks laying on my chest. He was down stairs awake playing video games. I went down and he then proceeded to say in a jerky tone, that almost seemed forced: "ah its been so long since I've had vodka." Just for spite. (Vodka makes him really angry and mean, so he doesn't drink it.) I asked him where he got the vodka from and he said the Gold Schlager that was in the freezer... which I then enformed him was a schnaps drink and not vodka. Needless to say the little attitude went away. I told him I wanted to talk to him and he said he was p*****d because it was bs.

Finally he started turning off the play station and asked if I was ready to go to bed at about 4:30, and I told him yes... Then he stopped and went back to playing and said "well I have to give you something to remember me by." And I got really upset and started walking away. He followed me to the garage and asked me if we could try one more time and not give up so fast. He said we could go to counseling and that we would try and get this worked out.... Of course I gave in....

What if I've made a horrible mistake? When does this bad feeling go away?