My fiance and I were childhood sweethearts and reconnected almost a year ago. We are both 48 years old and both have 4 children. He does not have a relationship with 3 of his children. We were living in different states until May of this year. His youngest is not quite 2 years old and his relationship with the mother has been toxic since the very beginning, as they both have agreed. When the mother found out that he had someone in his life, she began to express her desire to work on the relationship but he had already checked out as we were already very much in love and had become engaged. She began to express her concerns with his relationship with his daughter and that he needs to visit with her everyday, which he decided was ludicrous.She also began to make him feel guilty about his relationship with his daughter because of his estranged relationship with his other 3 children and uses this to get him to prove to his ex that he is a good dad. She also stated that he must visit with the daughter at her home and he could not take her out because she did not trust him. Now please keep in mind that he has govt clearance and this is who she begged to remain in her life to be a father to their child. Fast forward-She texts him pictures of the daughter everyday and has convinced him that he needs to spend as much time with their daughter. He has increased his visits from one weekend visit to two weekday visits and one weekend visit. He insists that this is about his daughter and I insist that if it is about his daughter, he would get visitation rights and be able to pick her up and take her with him and not have to spend time with the mother at her home, as well.

Here is my pain of betrayal. I have uprooted my entire life and moved to another state with my children (12 & 13) to be with this man and the more time she gets him to spend at her home, the less he wants to spend with me at our home. His desire to spend time with me decreases by the week. I feel like he wishes I would not have come so that he can meet the demands of his ex in an effort to redeem his fatherhood. I, on the other hand am continually suggesting to him that he has 3 other children to reconcile with and that he can not continue to allow his ex to manipulate him with his guilt.

Please!! somewhere help me because when we discuss this issue, his only response is that he must have a relationship with his daughter!!