I was called petty and unreasonable
Where do I begin? Okay, my bf/fiancé and I rekindled our relationship three years ago. We broke up 10 years ago when we got pregnant. In between that time he met someone else and of course popped her up with a baby too. Their relationship ended in 2006. Our bd is 11yrs old, his is daughter 10yrs old. The first year we began living together his daughter stayed with us for the summer and it was a disaster. Here are some of the highlights. Anytime bf would hug me or kiss me she would literally run up to us screaming CAN I HAVE A HUG?! This was on a constant basis. Bf and I would be talking his daughter would always interrupt us until finally I said why do you allow her to jump in our conversation like that? Bf says "oh she just wants to feel included". The straw that broke the camels back was when she choked bio daughter. I knew right then and there she was going to be a pain in the a$$. Bf and I argued over her behavior and his failure to correct it. When summer was over she left and things fell back into place. Until she returned the next year and again it was the same behavior as the summer before last. Only this time she bit and slapped my nephew who was visiting as well. BF proceeded to say it wasn't that bad and she hit my nephew bc he said something "bad" about her dad and she defended him by getting violent with nephew. BTW, nephew said bf was strict. The issue I have with the bf is he does not hold that terror accountable for anything. He would rather point fingers at other people instead of laying down the law with his daughter. BF is the typical Disney dad. This past Thanksgiving BM decides to send kid over here for holiday. BF doesn't let me know until 3 days before arrival. I was livid. Our daughter and I then decided to not show up for Thanksgiving, we had our own peaceful feast which lead into a big blow up fight with bf calling me petty and unreasonable. We have not spoken since turkey day and I believe this is the beginning of the demise of our relationship. Honestly, it would be bitter/sweet when it finally comes to that. I would definitely miss bf but I would not miss the crap that trails in behind him. I am not interfering with him being a father to his daughter however, I am totally and completely disengaged from the situation. I do not want to have anything to do with her and that is all.
- desi40's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
SM did not have any problems
SM did not have any problems with my daughter bc they did not spend anytime together. We are cordial not social.
Dh did not see our bio as
Dh did not see our bio as much as he should've. Frankly, we were not communicating during that time.
Have to make the decision,
Have to make the decision, draw the line in the sand, whether you and your bio want to have a horrible summer (and some holidays ) for the rest of your life, cuz it doesn't stop when they become adults.... BF needs to hold bio accountable otherwise he is creating a monster.. Or should i say enabling a monster...
I am at the point of moving
I am at the point of moving on..Again. At the time believed getting back with bf would be worth the a try as our relationship the first time around ended swiftly. We talked about it and agreed to move forward. We got engaged, moved into an apt and I enrolled in Nursing school. When it's just the three of us it's a great time. Until the Cracken returns and all hell breaks loose. Pandemonium ensues!
Things are turning around for me, I graduated from Nursing school (in June) and am actively working as a Nurse. I don't need the stress and aggravation from an unruly child and a piss poor father who can't reel her in. It's frustrating as heck.
Congrats on becoming a Nurse,
Congrats on becoming a Nurse, at least you know you can support yourself and your bio....
Living with him these past
Living with him these past three years has uncovered unsavory truths about bf/fiancé. He is not responsible, did not pay child support until I petitioned for it and he sends money to the other child but not on a regular basis. God, as I'm typing this I'm truly embarrassed to the fact I am involved with some one like this.
Run!!!
Run!!!
You gave yourself a
You gave yourself a Thanksgiving feast--all the options of life without this millstone about your neck. Good on you! You will fly without him!
I am reading everyones
I am reading everyones comments and I appreciate how blunt they have been. I do have a question. Would couples counseling at this stage of the relationship be considered futile? Maybe bringing in a neutral party would benefit the both of us?
I know for a fact jealousy,
I know for a fact jealousy, resentment and insecurity are major issues. Early in our relationship I wanted to go to therapy bc I have issues on my own with this and DH has been willing to do the same. It never happened mostly because it wasn't affordable at the time but now it is affordable but the question is, is it worth it now?
I mentioned in my first post
I mentioned in my first post DH and I have not spoken to one another for a couple of days due to the blow out on Turkey day. How do I initiate a non-aggressive conversation with him? What are your suggestions?
As I read through this, I
As I read through this, I kept thinking what happens if they break up and he decides to go back to the other BM? :?
DH: Child support with
DH: Child support with visitation effective immediately
ME: Move closer to my family. Live in happiness and peace with our bio.
You have brought in a neutral
You have brought in a neutral third party. Us. Look what we've said.
If you intend to stay, by all means, drag him to a counselor. But do you really think there's enough material in that man to work with? He has not demonstrated much character on his own as an adult. You can do better.
I say if he gets the idea on his own to go to counseling, maybe give him a chance. But if you have to bring it up much less talk him into it, I say stop wasting your time and go meet the rest of your life.
Im it!!!
Im it!!! :jawdrop: