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Too far or not far enough?

Dc3sc2's picture

Submitted by Dc3sc2 on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 6:05am

I bought sd12 a large shelving unit because her chest of drawers is falling in bits. I told her 3 times at the very least to make sure the drawers were empty so we could dispose of them over the weekend. They are still full. I'm considering putting all the stuff in a bin bag and putting it in the garage and disposing of the drawers and telling her I thought all the stuff was for the bin due to me telling her to empty them on numerous occasions and her completely ignoring me. I know my dh will not be on board with this but it is making my dds room look really messy because the shelving is now where the drawers were. And the drawers are in the middle of the room waiting to be disposed of. 
I know it's really quite petty so sorry for that. Just know my dh won't do anything so will still be there in a years time like with sd10s stuff that I've been complaining about for a year. She still had size 4-5years clothing!!! Thankfully they sorted it at the weekend.

I know I'm being really petty I'm just really annoyed that I told her at least 3 times and was ignored feel like there should be consequences not just have to do it the next weekend x

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 7:05am

I would toss it in a trash bag and leave it on her bed. 

(I say that as a mom and sm)

Dc3sc2's picture

Submitted by Dc3sc2 on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 7:16am

Tbh if it was my bios I would have actually thrown it all in the bin.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 7:07am

I'd do it. She shares a room with someone and doesn't get to just leave all her crap lying around.

Telling her to do it THREE times is once (twice?) too many. If your DH makes a stink about this tell him that he should have dealt with it in the first place.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 9:56am

Tell your DH that HE has X amount of time to deal with it, and if he doesn't then you will. And tell him you can only assume that it's all for the bin since nobody is taking care of it, so it must not be valuable.

Sharing a room with someone means there has to be consideration for the other person's space and comfort too. Your DD should not have to suffer because SD is lazy and DH won't do anything about it.

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 10:55am

Don't allow her to have so much stuff , she obviously can't keep track of it all.  Simplify her life and yours by downsizing. 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 02/08/2021 - 12:55pm

I've done this with OSD's bedroom when it reached an unacceptable hell-hole status.

I trash bagged it first and left them on her bed - she was mad but simply either left the bags unopened and moved them off her bed or sort of emptied them and didn't clean up at all.  The second time the bags went into the garage - the rule was (and DH agreed before I did this) that if she wanted anything out of them she had to sort through it appropriately and deal with it. Well, a couple days later DH was all supporting her in going to the garage and getting what she needed one thing at a time and leaving the rest. WTH?  Had an argument with DH and told him I'd be trashing ALL of it if it wasn't cleaned up by X date.  And I did. And he was maaaaad, but ok then so she gets to trash (literally) her room and we all just have to live with it?  I didn't GAF at that point.

When she finally left and didn't come back DH did the final clean up and was upset at all the literal garbage and junk. Yeah, uh-huh, zero sympathy here.

I would bag it up, and put it somewhere no one else knows about or can get to. See if she or your DH even notice. If not, get rid of it. If they do notice have a calm conversation about expectaions and ramifications with your DH, esp. if she shares a room with another person.