Her cellphone and laptop have a password now?!
Hello everyone!I'm a lurker with a question.
My stepdaughter is 13.she has a brand new laptop as well as a smartphone cell.The cell is on the account with her father's phone and my phone.The other day I was troubleshooting signal issues with my phone and was told to dial a number to update the roaming signals.The representative told me to do it every 3 months on all cell lines.So stepdaughter was playing outside with her stepbrother and I grabbed her phone from the kitchen table to update it.Well turns out she has it password protected.
I asked her about it and her response was Yeah my laptop is password protected too.Nobody needs to see them i don't think.they're mine.
Do you think she should have so much privacy on a smartphone and a laptop that neither I nor her parents can monitor her activities? Or am I overreacting?
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I would tell her that if she
I would tell her that if she doesnt provide all parents the password and immediately notify of any changes that she will loose the smartphone and the laptop permanately. There is no expectation of privacy when you are a child, and until she is 18 that is exactly what she is a child...heck even 18 or after if she is utilizing electronics and electonic services that are parent provided she still has no expectation of privacy. It's for her own safety whether she likes it or not.
Aside from that it is just bad parenting to let a child have access to the internet like that completely unsupervised and unmonitored. The internet is full of predators and people looking to take advantage or even hurt young girls!!
Just ask yourself, do you
Just ask yourself, do you think she should have privacy while having complete access to the internet anytime?
I don't, but SO disagrees.
As far as your SD's comment "they're mine" no sweetheart, you don't pay for internet and phone service. They're mine.
i told my husband she has
i told my husband she has passwords on everything and his answer was that she's a good girl and he trusts her and so does her mother. :jawdrop:
how do i argue with a stupid response like that?he rolls his eyes and tells me that not every kid is sneaky and deceitful like my son.nice.
You don't argue. Just wait,
You don't argue. Just wait, even the "good girls" get caught.
All kids are sneaky.
Just wait with your I told you so in hand. When she is about 14-15, it will happen.
DH took SS14's Ipod touch
DH took SS14's Ipod touch until SS14 told DH the password. DH had it for 3 weeks before SS14 gave in and told DH.
~BettyRay
Sorry, I'm going to disagree
Sorry, I'm going to disagree a little bit. If SD15 were living in my house, and I were paying for her electronic fun, it's my right to monitor what she's doing. When she's a minor living in my house, I am responsible for any law-breaking she gets up to. It's my house and my reputation that suffers if she brings random boys home to have sex with, or throws a 15,000 person birthday party while I'm out of town.
Our BM is too lazy to actually monitor stuff. DH is too - he says the right things, and has good intentions, but he won't follow through. If she's in my house, DH would have NO problem letting me be the big bad meanie.
MY stuff has passwords, and
MY stuff has passwords, and so does DH's. We're the adults, we pay for it, we are entitled to privacy.
According to me, SD15 can have a FB account if she friends both DH and I, AND I get her login and password, because mean, nasty, stepmom WILL log in randomly and check up on her. SD15 thinks this is a great deal, because BM won't let her have FB at all.
What she doesn't know is that I would have a keylogger on her computer and nanny software on her phone (which would also be subject to surprise! inspections) if we paid for it.
SD15 can have online/phone privacy when she gets a job and pays for it herself.
Let her password protect it,
Let her password protect it, but take it and lock in in the trunk of the car so she can't use it. If she wants it back the password comes OFF and you are entitled to search it whenever whereever until she can prove herself. She's hiding something.
Lauren, again - IF skid is
Lauren, again -
IF skid is living in my house, it's MY rules and my right.
DH, while a good-intentioned man, is pure LAZY when it comes to discipline. He agrees with the need, but will just "forget" to carry through.
DH agrees with my reasons and methods, and will back me.
I love the man to pieces, he is extremely self-disciplined, but he is CRAP at making sure expectations are lived up to.
One of the reasons I wouldn't want to have children with him is how he treats the dogs. The dog he got for SD15 is now 11, and was not neutered until he was 9, has NO manners, and is STILL barely house-trained. A lot of that is BM, but he did NOTHING for that dog. He was doing the same thing with ours - ignoring bad behavior and then getting pissy about it, not working on training/manners, and being careless with feeding. The dogs have manners because I trained them. The dog is not horribly obese because *I* keep her on a diet.
He's great at playing with them, and cuddling with them, and loving them. But they'd be a nightmare if someone didn't step up.
Kids are the same - if DH isn't going to step up and enforce the agreed-upon rules, SOMEONE has to.