My SD10 had her tonsils out last week and has been recovering, mostly, at BM's house. It's been kind of nice without her for the last week, but she came back yesterday so here we are. 

Last week, SD only spent one day with us after her surgery and SO stayed home with her that day. She spent most of her day resting and enjoying the cozy room I set up for her. On Sunday, SD asked BM to bring her over to our house to see SO because SD hadn't seen her dad in a few days and wouldn't be with us for a few more. (I didn't really have an issue with that. I know some people might, but I'm a child of divorce too. If I had wanted to see my dad and my mom was able to take me, I would hope she would. Especially in a circumstance like this where SD is with BM for almost an entire week.) SD came through our front door and had the most pathetic look on her face and I knew it was more than just a drop by to say hello. I found out, after BM and SD left, that SD had been on an eating and drinking strike because, "It doesn't feel good to eat," and needed a come to Jesus moment with both her parents where BM told her that if she didn't start eating/drinking they were going to the hospital to get her some fluids through an IV. *sigh* She's been eating and drinking just fine ever since then. I don't think the situation was that dire, but SD was being really stubborn about the whole thing.

Last night was her first night back at our house. I expected it to not be great, as most transition days aren't, and it wasn't great so I'm glad it met my expectations at least. SD is a pain when it comes to bed time. I've posted about it on here before. Last night was no different. We did give her some melatonin this time, though and I think that helped once she actually got to sleep. This girl pulled out ALL THE STOPS and SO was NOT having any of it. She started off by crying when my SO started to tuck her in for bed. She said it was too early for bed. SO said no it's time for bed. SD went on and said BM has been letting SD sleep with the TV on. SO said, "Ok, and..?" because there's no TV in her room at our house. So, SD asked if she could stay up and sleep on the couch. SO said no, again. He even tried to redirect her, but she was not having it. She wanted a story. Then she wanted medicine. Then she wanted to cry again. Then she asked, and I kid you not, "Can I sleep in the big bed tonight... with you?" SO gave a hard, "No. You know that's not allowed." Then he read her three pages of a story, his only compromise, and left her to sleep.

I was honestly shocked to find out from SO she didn't come get him once after she fell asleep. Today my in laws (for lack of a better term) are watching her for us. SD asked to go on a walk downtown, but her grandma said no because SD can't do any physical activity for a while. Otherwise it sounds like it's been a better day for her since she got some sleep last night. SO told SD last night that ice cream for dinner was coming to an end soon and she seemed pretty put out by that. He gave her two small scoops of ice cream and then made her eat some apple sauce and a couple other things too. SO has been better about telling SD no when it comes to things she wants, as previously it was a much more Disney Dad vibe in our house.

I'm a little concerned because it sounds like BM has been letting SD sleep in her bed with her every night... even before SD's surgery. And now it sounds like she lets her watch TV in bed. Both are things we don't allow at our house and are now things SD is  pushing for us to do. SO and I won't budge on either one though. Sometimes it makes me mad how BM does whatever she wants with SD. Like letting her sleep in the same bed. SO has talked to her about it, I don't know how many times and she still does it. It affects SD when she's at our house, but since it doesn't directly affect BM she doesn't seem to care or see a need to stop. SD is 10. 10 years old. Come on. I do think BM uses her daughter as an emotional crutch and has somewhat parentified SD which is problematic. But... how do you go about even dealing with that? That's a whole other can of worms.

I don't have a lot of optimism for the rest of this week, honestly. SD will go back to BM's on Saturday afternoon. Can't be soon enough, man.