Case Of The Ex
Where to begin...Well im almost 23 and i met my bf at work in April. He eventually moved in across the street w/ his friends. This was totally by accident. Now we have a 4 bedroom house and huge fenced in back yard...its the kind of house for a family. I love it. We live w/ his best friend. They are like brothers and we have become very close also. My bf has 2 sons, 1 is 16 mo and the other is 3. They are by 2 diff women, the youngest of which is w/ his ex wife. I get along great w/ the oldest's mom. She is super nice and we are pretty good friends. However thats were the good wears off. The ex wife has been nothing but trouble since the begining. She use to come over holding their son in only a diaper, in the rain, screaming for hours. She would take all of his money and keep him from seeing his son. This was all before the divorce was finalized. Since then she has moved herself and their son from house to house. Even to a homeless shelter. Now she says she lives w/ her parents but she is never there and calls it her moms not her house. She mostly stays at her cousins who has a bad history of drug abuse. She smokes around their son, even in a car w/ the windows rolled up. She is always leaving him w/ her parents and asking us to keep him w/ no notice. We always do but its becaoming rediculous. She has no job and is living off of the government. She gets food stamps, state funded insurance, and assisted living. We go to court soon over custody and I really think that we will get it. The ex wife has been emailing me ever since we got together, harassing me and calling me a home wrecker. Her family has too and I find this funny since she was the one cheating on him. I never dated him until they were seperated. I became pregnant and carried the baby for 20 wks when i went into premature labor. I lost the baby and have been having a hard time dealing w/ it. If that wasnt enough she brings it up all the time in a hateful manner. The kids love me and the youngest calls me mommy. I try to tell him no but when Im more of a mom to him then his own its hard for him to understand. I have been really trying to fight the urge to beat her up because of the custody but its getting harder and harder. It helps to talk to my bfs oldest boys mom. She understands cause she had to deal w/ it before w/ this woman. She loves me too and incourages me to just wait it out and not let it get to me. Its so hard though. I was just wondering if there is a good way to deal w/ her and if there is anything I can do about it. Will it get better? Its causing me to be stressed out all the time which causes me to fight w/ my bf. Now is a time for me when I need him more than ever because of losing the baby. I really dont want to fight w/ him but its hard to not be stressed out about all of this. Please give me some advice if you have any.
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Cscott - first and foremost.
Cscott - first and foremost. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I lost my beautiful son when he was born at 23 weeks a few months ago. For any woman to throw that in your face is a disgrace. Try to ignore this woman as best you can (easier said than done). She sounds like a truly evil person. The situation with her will probably not get any better unless she finds someone else to harass. I will say that my dh's ex (Wingnut) used to be completely over the top with that stuff until she lost control of the custody (she started out with primary and we had 4 overnights a month) after a very prolonged court battle that resulted in our getting 50% custody and her needing to get a job! My hope for you is that you do get custody. This will change the dynamic of the relationship. She'll still be an asshole, but you and bf will have more control. Try not to fight with BF over BM. It isn't his fault she is an asshole (unless he is allowing it and placating her). You don't need stress right now. You need to be able to grieve without her drama. I know exactly where your head is and wanting to beat her up is natural. you have a lot of anger over your loss and she is a great target because you don't like her. You need to control it though. DOn't let the anger change you. Feel free to PM me if you need to.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
shes a str8 up cunt for
shes a str8 up cunt for bringing up the loss of a child. I had my son 1 month early and was hospitalized 2 weeks prior to his birth because i was a "high risk" that alone, knowing something potentially fatal could happen to him, drove me nuts before i had him. Luckily he was born happy and healthy i could never imagine losing my child at birth. Fuck her for that and karma is a serious bitch.
But anyway, ou cant count on that SHE will get better but you can count on your situation getting better. God only dishes out as much as you can handle. Something is bound to give with this. Especially if shes as crazy as you say she is, then you shouldnt have too much of a problem, however, custody hearings are expensive and painful. i can only promise it will get worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better.
i think its wonderful that the other BM of the oldest child supports you. Only in a dream do you fine something that rare! best of luck.
I am so sorry for the loss
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I know how you feel. I miscarried too, and I know how it feels for BM to throw it in your face. It is painful. She threw it in my face via myspace.
All I can recommend are counseling and praying. Both saved me.
My heart goes out to you
My heart goes out to you hon. Don't let that bitter sorry ass excuse of a mother, or human being for that matter, get to you. You shouldn't waste one more thought on her.
I would stay as far away from her as possible and let bf deal with her. Don't be seen or heard by her. You need to grieve and focus on yourself right now--that's what's important. I know you want to fight but real strenghth is mantaining your composure and your emotional well-being. You have the support from everyone that matters not to mention the other BM...that is rare indeed.