Crizzle's Blog
I saw BM today!
She hasn't seen/talked to the skids or paid any child support for almost a year now. I saw her today at Wal-Mart and she was actually working there! She saw me too and you should have seen the look on her face!!!! LMAO!! She was not as happy to see me as I was her! We will be calling CS office in the a.m. to let them know where she is working. Maybe soon we will be getting child support or watching her arse make a trip to the slammer! I would be happy either way. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
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Disengagement has helped
So, I started my disengagement a few weeks ago. Hubby and I had a couple of big fights about skids behavior and I finally decided it was time to start the disengagement, so I did. I let go of any and all responsibility I had taken on since the girls moved in with us. I told them they were not to ask me anything about anything and that DH would be handling everything in regards to them. I told him I would no longer do their laundry, plan their birthday parties, schedule their doc appointments, enforce rules, hygiene, chores, behavior, etc. etc. etc.
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"vent" definition See 2C
Main Entry: 1vent
Pronunciation: \ˈvent\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, in part from 2vent, in part short for aventen to release (air), from Anglo-French aventer, alteration of Old French esventer to air, from es- ex- (from Latin ex-) + vent wind, from Latin ventus — more at wind
Date: 14th century
transitive verb
1 : to provide with a vent
2 a : to serve as a vent for
b : discharge, expel
c : to give often vigorous or emotional expression to
3 : to relieve by means of a vent
intransitive verb
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And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".
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So, after the last blowout
nothing else has been said. DH acts as if it never happened. What the hell is it with men? DH is mostly good to me as a husband. But when it comes to all this crap with his precious princesses he can get ugly. I don't know what it is that makes him think it's okay to speak to them so gently, in regards to disciplining, and speak to ours with authority and sternness. Skids are 14 and 11, hardly old enough for adult conversation and definitely young enough to need some firm scolding from time to time. Our daughter and son are 7 & 4.
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Frick!!!
DH and I got into a huge fight today and I nearly left him. He's started saying I am treating them like $h!t again because I barely speak to them. He's trying to make me feel guilty and I am really sick of it. He wants to point the finger at me and tell me how he doesn't like how they are being treated and I said, "what are you talking about? I'm not treating them like anything!" I do not want to give them any ammunition for more of their frickin lies and I told him that also. How is it he can't see how much he put on me?
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Disengagement in full swing
So, here's my update with my disengagement. Just a reminder to you all: my Skids live with us and do not have any visitation with their mother. They never ever leave and DH works nights. He was only awake with us about 4 or 5 hours out of the day. I was with them all day and night, every day and night. I was assuming all parenting responsibilities with Skids except discipline. And his discipline was nearly non-existant. He was never authoritative or stern.
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When skids leave, I wanna
do a song and dance. Have you ever seen "Singin In The Rain"? I want to do the whole Gene Kelly song and dance any time they leave. My mood just lifts and it's like "I'm siiiiiingin in the raaain, just siiiingin in the rain! What a glorious feeeeelin, I'm happy again!" If you haven't seen it, you should watch it and find that song. You'll know what I mean!
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I wanna know
what techniques everyone uses to disengage. I have done a little, but I think that I am not making a strong point and would love some tips. So give me what ya got!
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I feel guilty, but
my skids very existence in my home annoys me daily. They have been living with us for a year and a half now and I become more and more annoyed with them every day. They aren't terrible kids, but they lie all the time and are very ungrateful. They moved in with us rather suddenly when their mother disobeyed social services. When they moved here, I spent money I couldn't afford to spend buying them beds, matching bed sets, clothes for school, and other items to make them feel at home. I did all this, not my husband.
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