So, I started my disengagement a few weeks ago. Hubby and I had a couple of big fights about skids behavior and I finally decided it was time to start the disengagement, so I did. I let go of any and all responsibility I had taken on since the girls moved in with us. I told them they were not to ask me anything about anything and that DH would be handling everything in regards to them. I told him I would no longer do their laundry, plan their birthday parties, schedule their doc appointments, enforce rules, hygiene, chores, behavior, etc. etc. etc. I only handle the affairs of myself and my children. He didn't like it at first and probably still doesn't, but I have to say my mood is lightening and I am feeling more and more pleased all the time.

In the beginning, I wasn't speaking to skids beyond what was necessary because I was so hurt and angry at how they had behaved and treated me. Their lies were the icing on the cake. I was even more outraged at his lack of "giving a sh!t" and making sure they knew that behavior wouldn't be tolerated. His gentle approaches and trying to speak to them like adults instead of the children they are was insulting. But now that I don't have to care about whether this or that is taken care of, I am less stressed. I will not be responsible for them again because I know the stress takes a toll on my happiness and that of my own children. I am back to living MY life and not having to bear the extra burden has made me start looking forward to tomorrow again. Never again will I allow him to assume I am going handle everything.

I also told him he better make damn sure those girls don't involve me or my children in another one of their lies again, because if it happens again, then I will leave and I will not look back. He no longer confronts me on it. I think he sees that I am happier and that things are improving. I am beginning to have litte bits of conversations with them here and there, but I am taking it slow. Mostly with SD11. A lot of her behavior was not as big a deal as it was repetitive and annoying. I don't trust SD14, though, as her lies and outright two-faced attitude has left a big impression on me and it will be difficult to let go of my feelings from that. BUT, I am trying.