Thank you all for your comments. I will set the record straight and give some more information to help clear the air. The reason i said she was "evil" is because she is down right rotten. She purposely manipulates my daughter and says things behind mine and my husbands back. My daughter has come to me with serious issues and my husband and myself have sat ( SD ) down and set her straight. We have not had any instances in a few months, but that is what she does. She is "ok" for a few months and when she thinks no one is watching or listening she does things or says things. She has hurt my daughter physically but i have to say, it is mostly mentally. She has a way of manipulating her and putting her down. She makes herself the best at everything and always puts my daughter down. She is an extremely jealous little girl and has been that way since before i have met her. Friends and other family members of my DH family have made comments to me about it. So this is not just a SM or SD deal. She has been this way since birth. I do believe that some people are just "evil" in nature and only feel good when they are hurting someone or manuplating or being a "con" which she has mastered very well at the age of 8. I think sometimes people dont realize how smart kids are. Granted, all children will do things to get their way, but they have some what of a guilt complex and feel bad when they hurt someone the care about. She never has cried once when we have "tried" to explain to her how her comments to EVERYONE in the house hurt people. She doesn't care at all. She is missing that emotion. I have mentioned that she needs to be evaluated but i can not make my husband send her. I have brought it up in a serious conversation but I can't force him to see his daughter for the person she really is. It is his Daughter and i understands he loves her to death, but it isnt helping her at all. It has always been a battle and i do believe that their is a history behind her illness. Her mother is bi-polar ( not saying anything bad about that at all) but there is something "off" with her. I know a lot about mental illness due to being in the health field. However, she would need to see a Child Psychiatrist and they would have to test her. More then likely something of that nature would not be able to be diagnosed until she is in her adolescent years. But it isn't just that. She is missing something seriously wrong. Like, love,compassion and sensitivity and honestly she is just down right rotten to the core. She is even like that with her cousins that she says she loves so much. But then when she sees them she is bosey, rotten and puts them down. I have talked to her before and explained to her, that she will end up very alone because she will push everyone that she "loves" away treating them that way. My DH has even told her that. Her mother lets her get away with everything and then she is with her mothers mom all the time and beyond SPOILS her!! That is a lot of the problem also. My DH is so sweet,compassionate and sensitive. I just dont understand who she could be that way because she is NOTHING like him. I know it bothers him, but he is an extremely passive person and honestly, i think he is embarrassed. He see's how my daughter is and how sweet and loving she is and they are so close. My DD backs off whenever she comes over to let them have time together because anytime my daughter shows him any attention she knows she will pay for it. Sad really... I was so scared to death when my son was first born that she would hurt him. I kept him with me for MONTHS away from her and only let her be around him when i was right there ( her feeding him, holding him. ) i have become the best actress and dont let on how i feel. I have always been nice to her and have a "open" communication with her. She will come to ME with things over her father. So that trust is there and i know she cares about us. But she just cant help herself sometimes i guess. Again, needs to be evaluated.

As far as the custody ordeal. I wish to HELL that would change. My husband got screwed royally in court. He was only able to see her on weekends because she had already started school with her Mom because of his work schedule for that year. They had an agreement that it would only be for Kindergarten and then when she was in school FT he would like to have 50/50 custody like what me and my Ex have. Well she took him to court and that is what they decided because she was already established in court. They brought SD in and her mother and grandmother coerce her into saying she wanted to stay in her school with her mother. So they listened to her. Which i was shocked because when i went to court over my daughter it was totally different. So we have her every single weekend and since i am home now, they have just dumped on me so far. I heard him saying well i can take her a lot more now. I said oh no!!!!! You pay her a TON of CS and why are you going to pay HER if she is with US all the time. That isn't right. I dont ask for CS because we have 50/50 custody. SO i set that straight this weekend. SO we shall see how that goes. But she tried to dump on us more over the summer because she(BM) "says" that she has no one to watch her because her friend that watches her during the school year is away a lot and works. So it is pretty complicated and this is why i am on this site to blow off some steam and get others points of views.. Hope that helps

I am not some horrid person trust me. I watch children all the time and have babysat from the age of 12. I L-O-V-E kids and always has. It was so hard for me to deal with this and still is because i have never come into contact with a child that i can NOT stand at all. Why does it have to be my SD ?? I dont know. I pray about it all the time, but that is all i can do because i dont have any control over what they do with her. ONLY control I have is when she is in our house and what is allowed and tolerated. She has rules just like my daughter..

Thanks for all of your comments