You can't care more!
So YSDalmost 16 is enrolled in driver's Ed. BM signed her up. YSD has not showed an iota of interest in driving and still refuses to sit in the front seat. I think this is solvable but DH continues to bury head in sand.
Anyway there's a parent required online meeting going on right now for parents with students enrolled. I'm kind of listening in and it's quite good. Is DH listening? NOPE. He's doing something else.
I after a couple questions and comments from me trying to direct him to the presentation, he says, "There's probably something on You Tube about it."
Ok then I'm done. Out out out.
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Wow! Good for you trying and
Wow! Good for you trying and that would piss me off that DH blew it off! I'm disengaged as much as I can be but when it comesto things that will push SD out the door (driving, extra curricular activities, working, etc) I definitely get involved as much as o can
The boys driving school was
The boys driving school was all virtual last year... end of 2020 into 2021. SO had to sit on the first class with the camera on. He may of had to sit on the drug and alcohol one too..or the first one was the drug and alochol...don't remember though. The instructor made sure parents were there though.. I do remember that.
She was strict. The other instructor gave classes from bed. Literally from his bed. All the kids thought he was hilarious.
If the camera wasn't required and all DH had to do was say Hi I'm SDs dad and go about his way.. then he isn't showing SD the importance of learning about driving either..
Frustrating... especially the way her commute is.
Tell him about SD22 Feral Forger
She is a cautionary tale of missed milestones and motionally stunted.
No Drivers license and for a long time no job, living at Toxic Trolls place and wreaking havoc. No launching properly. Blames all her issues on her parents and myself. Lashes out. Wants to move back in and be like a kid again with no rules or expectations.
I move between disengagement and "get that kid driving", to get them able to launch prperly. But each in their own time. Maybe she isnt mature enough.
I don't get this attitude
of parents disengaging from a key milestone that enables mobility for work, school, and social development.
I understand the attitude of let the child determine when they are ready to drive. But, children often need a nudge to do things that may not be naturally comfortable to them. Driving is a key and necessary life skill. I would be more engaged and pushing the kid to at least learn to drive - and then if they are not ready to get behind the wheel on their own, fine - back off. But to just not learn at all - SMH.
And Cover, you're right - you can't care more than DH, unfortunately.
DH is a mechanic
And yet he iis very impatient with others driving.
Ive asked him about this - his response is just that SD15.5 B/M is "too young in her head", meaning shes still expremely immature.
Yet he has not increased his expectations of her in any way. No real addition of responsibilities, or anything to do with driving and learning. He actualy told her that she will need to sign up for a class herself. So he wants her to do all the research, find the class, sign up and do it all herself.
Im in the other camp of "she needs a nudge and she needs someone to get her going and THEN let her do it and complete and all that." Because I know how she is. She needed me to tell her to go to teachers office hours. Once she did it a few times she went on her own when necessary. Shes not a self-starter type.
But now, after seeing posts about car insurance for new drivers and skids...Im ok with holding off a year.
Here's my theory. If the teen
Here's my theory. If the teen isn't busy meaning.. working, social life, sports, school functions etc.. and the parent themselves aren't really incovienced by teen not driving then there is no real reason to push them if they aren't showing any interest yet.
SS18 and SS17 went to driving school and got their licenses the same day. (They are 15 months apart) SS18 was no way mature to be driving when he turned 16. Plus, SO caught him vaping so that was that. When SS17 turned 16 is when they both got signed up. Plus we told them they needed a job before they started driving.
It was a long 6 months because we went from just SS18 to work to both of them working with no licenses. Then SOs friend and parents helping on weekends while we were at work.
We couldn't wait for them to have their licenses!
Not everyone feels this way though... I don't get it either. It seems more prominent now then it did when I started driving.
A year or two is fine
To let the kids mature - but kids in their 20's not driving is just bizarre.
Yeah that's a whole other
Yeah that's a whole other topic haha.
Follow up to after the
Follow up to after the meeting was over....
DH was going on and on about how he wasn't involved with OSD18 at all when SHE did all this. So this driving thing is bringing up all kinds of issues and feelings about OSD and the PAS situation. I frankly told him to leave OSDs driving school in the PAST and help YSD get this done FFS. It's about YSD now! She needs help!
We talked about where this school is (way out of the way) and that YSD seems to think she'll only be driving at the school with the instructor. DH is going to ask YSD if she's got her learners permit and that she needs to bring it with her on weekends she's at our home. We have a most excellent place to practice beginning driving! BUT what DH says and what he actually does are usually opposites. And if YSD doesn't bring her permit, it's a done deal - no driving practice. I just basically nodded and said ok, ok, ok.
IF this were up to me she'd already be in that front seat each time she's in my car and she'd be going out and starting it in the mornings and driving in/out of the driveway. I gave up on helping because she'd end up in crying (almost) hysterics when I tried to get her into that front seat and DH was doing NOTHING to help. I told DH he's going to be her chauffer for many more years if he doesn't help her.