School Schedule v2
I posted this in SV/PA blog, but a follow up for everyone is here.
YSD did a 'dry run' of her 2 hour commute to high school from our house this morning - school starts on Wednesday. Yes, 2 hours. Because it's near BMs. And the commute in that direction is really bad. That's ONE way.
DH and I have been discussing this situation and will talk more seriously about it this weekend in which I will insist he get a car if YSD needs a ride more than once a week when she's with us. The buses are all messed up still due to the Covid cutbacks and are possibly going to be restored in October. But if I have the car and a bus doesn't show up, she cannot get to school or here.
The good: She figured out how to catch the bus from our house and transfer ok to the next leg. With some complaining.
Annoyance: DH acting like an overbearing mother and asking me something about the bus for a millionth time - I had to tell him that I've answered that question MANY times yesterday and today...it's a bus, it's not always x time on.the.dot. And yes, the bus drops her 20 feet away from the other transfer pickup. It's not door to door service FFS and she just needs to basically walk across the street.
We had a talk with YSD last night, both of us, that a four hour commute per day in high school, with advanced courses, is not sustainable. We think she's worried about not doing 50/50 time exactly and DH reassured her that they would work on an alternate schedule if needed. We also told her she must get her scheudle on the calendar so we are both aware of her plans ahead of time, really both of us pushed for this - if she wants to do this, then she's got to be responsible and she cannot count on us to bail her out each time.
DH acutally was in agreement with me and didn't undermine anything I said once. We'll discuss car option and YSD in driver ed option this coming weekend.
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Comments
Wow a two hour commute one
Wow a two hour commute one way is excessive in my opinion and I can't believe neither parent had the common sense to tell her no this won't be happening.
Right.
Right.
As someone with a 1.5 to 2
As someone with a 1.5 to 2 hour commute each day to work, that commute will get old real fast. Sure, you can read on the bus, but it depends on the route and I agree with you that buses are not overly reliable, so you'd need a car. How long was the commute to school prior and how did it work out with 50/50?
Your DH might have to make peace with moving away from the 50/50 because YSD will likely want to do things after school close to her school, which would make the commute even more difficult by bus, if it was after hours.
That's insane. The adults
That's insane. The adults here need to decide on a new schedule and let her know what it will be.
But then again
DH refused to get a car to help his DD. Basically disengaging from her. I would disengage myself from this. Let the two birth parents figure it out. Give him the old, yes dear
Yeah, I can't control it but
Yeah, I can't control it but I made it clear to both of them that the commute was NOT do-able.
* School work required this year in advanced classes.
* She cannot read on the bus or she gets motion sickness, plus the bus is impossible almost to read on - and impossible to take notes.
* She would only drive about 7 miles from our home to the park and ride, eliminating the (tenuous at times) bus to our home. Non-urban, great area to learn driving skils IMHO - and not until she can legally drive by herself obviously.
* The driving route the entire way is WORSE by 300x - or 1000x. Completely not an option.
* I'm going to bring up to DH where her bus stops downtown for the route to her school (her third leg); after dark it's not in a good area, heck, even before dark it's not a good area. NEITHER parent has looked at where this transfer is.
* If she went to school near us (like she did throughout middle school) the travel time to school was maybe just over an hour. She could take the school bus directly from her transfer point, and the route home was maybe two hours or less depending on what she was doing after school, what school bus she took and what second transit method she then needed to take. She could do homework at the transfer "house" with other students there if there was a wait. This is now entriely different, there's no school bus if her transit bus doesn't show up.
* The alternative is she stays with BM durning the week, with DH every other weekend and travels to/from high school every other Friday/Monday. And DH gets extra holiday time. This is what I thought the plan would be.
Yeah, I can't do anything but voice my opinion, which I have done several times and lay down my boundaries with MY car and transportation options to work, which are not really much different, albeit shorter.